need a male dom to give me some feed back please.

[SheDevilShay]

Hello, I tried to write the chapter 1 of my novella from Male masters POV...

(its very raw and unedited, so no red pens..) but I need some insight on a male thought process and see if I captured it properly... If your interested in reading chapter 1... let me know...


Chapter 2 switches to the slave girl Kylie's POV.. (I switch POV every chapter to try and "switch" up the book to keep it interesting so it would appeal to dom, sub and switch hitters...)

 

[TickTocks]

Hello, I tried to write the chapter 1 of my novella from Male masters POV...

(its very raw and unedited, so no red pens..) but I need some insight on a male thought process and see if I captured it properly... If your interested in reading chapter 1... let me know...


Chapter 2 switches to the slave girl Kylie's POV.. (I switch POV every chapter to try and "switch" up the book to keep it interesting so it would appeal to dom, sub and switch hitters...)

I'm certainly interested in reading it, and giving feedback

 

[SheDevilShay]

I sent you a pm, I also have a link if reading it via the forum PM is to difficult.

 

[myinnerslut]

while not male or dominant, i would also like to read it when its done.

 

[Softouch911]

Sorry I can't volunteer. I'm in the third draft of a similar pattern and need to get it out now (see my sig, if you're interested). But I did learn two things about shifting pov -- a)publishers hate it. Most prefer third, limited omni. b) the only way I found to get it to "work" w/o sounding very awkward was to structure the action so that readers would wonder what the other character was thinking/feeling.

So the emphasis falls far away from plot and deep into character.

Good luck with yours.
ST

 

[N_B]

I'm no Mark Twain, but I'd like to give your writings a read and put in my two cents... Care to share?

 

[amsubone]

Happy to help if I can.