Need a good fuck

[Sweet_Jasmine]

oops my bad, that should have read need a good (meaning constuctive criticism) review on my first submission, but it got your attention, didn't it?

I really, really, really would appreciate it. I am getting ready to submit another part to the series and would like feedback before I do.

The first story is here

Sweet Kisses,

Jasmine

 

[DreamAngel44]

I read your story, and I really liked it. It was desciptive in regards to the setting; the stage was set and I could picture it as I read. I liked the detail in the scenes you portrayed. It was exciting, yet not too "wordy". Kept my attention. I say well done. I look forward to more...

 

[Crush360]

I could use some time in a harem. I wonder if there are any on the boardwalk..

 

[Sweet_Jasmine]

Thank you

DreamAngel44, thank you so much. That is what I was hoping to achieve. I will make another submission soon.

Crush360, I don't know if they have any on the boardwalk, but Aleem says that if you are ever in the area stop by and have a visit. The girls get all giddy (not to mention wet) when newbies stop by.

 

[mjl2010]

Liked it

Nice job and I got to be first to comment. Cool!

Not so long and it kept me interested. Unusual for a woman woman sex scene. Once I get there I usually read about a paragraph and then close it up. So to keep me there, you did good.

MJL

 

[Sweet_Jasmine]

Cool!

That was you MJL2010! I think I messed up and commented to my own story in reply.

Okay - the next chapter is not girl on girl and is submitted - but the first chapter took nearly a week to post so... we'll see how this goes.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

That was you MJL2010! I think I messed up and commented to my own story in reply.

Okay - the next chapter is not girl on girl and is submitted - but the first chapter took nearly a week to post so... we'll see how this goes.

If you submit a Word file it always takes a while because Laurel's team have to convert it by hand. Also, the Val day contest is on and contest entries always take priority.

Stories post much quicker if you paste them in the submission form with HTML tags. When you've worked out how to convert a Word file to Plain Text, let me know 'cos I'm so not an IT geek.

 

[Sweet_Jasmine]

I submitted html

cut and paste from word to notepad and it should strip all code and be in html - then cut and paste again into submission form. I could be wrong as I am no expert either, but it is how I used to do a blog.

I'm sure everyone is busy around here and maybe because I'm a newbie.

 

[Rad'l]

Good story, Jasmine

marred by one typo - that I mentioned in Feedback. When writing 'professionally' - good and careful editing is paramount. Your imagination soars but gets slapped down by editing. Thanks for the story - I shall be looking forward to others.

 

[Sweet_Jasmine]

Thank You Rad'l

I thought I spell checked it, but it was obvious with my second story that the spell check feature did not work as Aleem was highlighted throughout and I had no mistakes in the first submission. I will look into finding an editor, though. It may slow my posts down, but that's okay.

Thank you again for the feedback.