necklace -- wlod, 2006-03-23

[Senna Jawa]

--



necklace

i hang from
her fine necklace

i tremble
when she sings in a choir

when her covers fall down at night
i shiver

we travel around the world

from time to time
each time a different
sweaty male hand
plays with me
dazing me
with the smell of her sex

half and half
i suffer for her
for myself
perhaps for humanity

the necklace wears off
nothing lasts forever
​

wh,
2006-03-16

 

[Maria2394]

SJ-
I love this! but I have one question... as adamant as you are about not using words that contribute nothing, I am wondering about your use of "sweaty".

I am sure youwouldnt use it if it had no significance, so I am obviously misunderstanding this part of your poem... can you tell me what I am missing?

thank you

maria

 

[Senna Jawa]

SJ-
I love this!

Thank you, Maria. You are invariably kind to me.

[...] as adamant as you are about not using words that contribute nothing, I am wondering about your use of "sweaty".

At first you may read it as it is, directly (exhaustion? lack of airconditioning? ...), just as information. The next line (after the line about the hand) may remind you that this is how the "Lirical Subject" has described a hand slick with the woman's juices. Then "sweaty" makes extra sense in the context of that next line. (This is the "LS"'s voice -- Wildsweetone, are you there? )

Hey Maria, I enjoy reading your blog entries.

Best regards,

Senna Jawa​

PS. It'd be convenient for the sake of discussions to establish the LS shorthhand for "Lirical Subject".

 

[wildsweetone]

i'm here. lol

i've noticed the dates and i'm glad you are writing!

i need to read this a dozen times more, i think.

 

[Maria2394]

Thank you, Maria. You are invariably kind to me.

At first you may read it as it is, directly (exhaustion? lack of airconditioning? ...), just as information. The next line (after the line about the hand) may remind you that this is how the "Lirical Subject" has described a hand slick with the woman's juices. Then "sweaty" makes extra sense in the context of that next line. (This is the "LS"'s voice -- Wildsweetone, are you there? )

Hey Maria, I enjoy reading your blog entries.

Best regards,

Senna Jawa​

PS. It'd be convenient for the sake of discussions to establish the LS shorthhand for "Lirical Subject".

ahhhh now I understand. And Im glad you enjoy my entries..

I enjoy your blog thread as I have tried to blog on my own before( live journal, yahoo) and just couldnt stay interested long enough, or usually just forgot my passwords...

 

[wildsweetone]

Thank you, Maria. You are invariably kind to me.

At first you may read it as it is, directly (exhaustion? lack of airconditioning? ...), just as information. The next line (after the line about the hand) may remind you that this is how the "Lirical Subject" has described a hand slick with the woman's juices. Then "sweaty" makes extra sense in the context of that next line. (This is the "LS"'s voice -- Wildsweetone, are you there? )

Hey Maria, I enjoy reading your blog entries.

Best regards,

Senna Jawa​

PS. It'd be convenient for the sake of discussions to establish the LS shorthhand for "Lirical Subject".

i see the word 'sweaty' as an opinion of the 'I' and it seems to carry its heavy connotations on through the next three lines, tainting the tone of the words.

and i also see the last line 'nothing lasts forever' as part of the LS's voice.

and, not sure that i should admit this out loud, but i also see the 'whole' poem as apt for posting on Literotica in the 'erotic' section, 'necklace' being two things at one time.