Nead to illustriate

[DurtGurl]

Hi,
I,m not sure this is where to poast.

Im volunterring to poast some pis of me, but am lening more to ilustrateing someones' story.
Im' 23, told I'm georgous, and I have colorful hare and eyes. Teeth too.
Big tit's, look about 45. I also shave my mustach. my wieght varies, depending
This aint' my first poast, so take yer best shot.
DG
PeeS, I got lots more pitchers

 

[Guest]

I have no advice for you, Ms. Durty; I'm just curious to see how many of the normally, as of yesterday, glowering Lit. men respond. Please forget my name. X

 

[oggbashan]

Thank you, DurtGurl, for that expressive likeness.

You could inspire me to write a story for you to illustrate.

I haven't been too successful at being bad. Perhaps a work with pictures of you will hit the jackpot.

Love from Og.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Er, well, I've been working on one about this pretty young secretary who shows off her charms and seduces the... er...

I suppose I could adapt it for you. What sort of time span are we talking about?

Next year do?

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Ah. Just downloaded the pic. You're thinking hot tub theme, yah? Definite possibilities. Like it.

Only. I'm not sure about next year, I've got a bit of work piled up, newspapers to read, and I need to drink more. I mean... wait for inspiration...

 

[Krenee]

ha ha i get it ,well iguess there is going to be at least one person that has to come to the net to flap hi....err...her.....its dicksuckers.
but hey,i laughed,cant bug me too much.

got a match?

your ass AND your face,buwahhahaha.

Krenee

 

[pop_54]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Durt Gurl darling, where have you been all this time, haven't seen you for ages.

Hey is that really you in the hot tub, wowwwwww!!! I have a massive boner now, 14 and three quarter inches of it.

Yea we must write a story about bath time bonking sometime dear, maybe call it "Pass the Soap" or some such snappy name.

See ya Gurl pops...............

 

[MathGirl]

ha ha i get it ,well iguess there is going to be at least one person that has to come to the net to flap hi....err...her.....its dicksuckers.
but hey,i laughed,cant bug me too much.
got a match?
your ass AND your face

Dear Krenee,
My, my. Aren't we vituperative!
MG, Secretary to Durt Gurl

Ps. Look it up, dear.

 

[Guest]

Ps. That means 'snakelike'

You beat me to the punch, MG.

P.

p.s. makes me nervous when you mention snakes though.

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmm

Dear Krenee,
My, my. Aren't we vituperative!
MG, Secretary to Durt Gurl

Ps. That means 'snakelike'

Lovely way of laying out the writing and grammar as well I thought MG.

pops............

 

[MathGirl]

You beat me to the punch, MG. p.s. makes me nervous when you mention snakes though.

A pome for Pertida:

Snakey, snakey in the grass,
Please don't bite me on the leg.
MG

 

[Guest]

pining perdita here

Snakey, snakey in the grass,
Please don't bite me on the leg.

No offense, MG, but my mood needs a poem, or something the fuck, with bite. Do you think Madame Durt would oblige? I'm sooooo depressed about this hangout.

p. (feeling lower case)

p.s. to stress the emergency, I haven't been bored since high school!

 

[MathGirl]

Re: pining perdita here

No offense, MG, but my mood needs a poem, or something the fuck, with bite.

Dear Perdita,
Here's a little ditty that DG composed a while back in response to a challenge. You supply the banjo:

I'm a redneck trucker, an' I don't give a flip,
Gotta handlebar moustache to hide ma hare lip,
I love ta smoke an' spit, an' I always chew snuff,
I like a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Ma saddest day was when ma hound dog died,
I thowed the carcass in ma truck an' went fer a ride,
When Ah got back home I felt better, sho 'nuff,
I had a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff.

Happiest day of ma life was when I wed Mary Lou,
Carried her inta ma trailer and yelled, "Wahoo,"
She sez, "I usually gits paid, an' I like it rough,
I'll giveya a gut fulla whiskey anna mouf fulla muff."

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: pining perdita here

Dear Perdita, Here's a little ditty that DG composed a while back in response to a challenge. You supply the banjo:

Thanks Girl, that cheered me right up. I'm going to ask Earl to record it for me and substitute Purdy Lou for Mary Lou. He owes me a favor.

perked up Purdy Lou

 

[DurtGurl]

Purdy pitcher

This glamor pha... fot... snapshot is by request from a reglar at the AH who wants to use it in a story. Do'nt worry, Pop, I promised you'de remain antonymous. I had a teeny bit of premenestrual ede... eda .. I was swole up some when it was taken.
DG
PEss. I was wearin a whig
PPEss. Nice bike, huh?

 

[Chicklet]

WOW!

That bike is just too flashy! I envy you, DG.

 

[Guest]

for the blond biker pic

Soul Mates Serenade

Durty Mama digs them bikers.
Durty Orville always liked her.
When the cum spurts in her face
Durty Orville licks her plate.

Durty Orville hoots and hollers.
Durty Mama says, “Don’t bother,
you can take your load and shove it,
really tight inside this wallet*.

Durty Mommy and her soul mate
rode to Lit. Land in a perv state.
After twenty big arrivals
they got married swearing, “I will.”


*wallet: high durt talk for cunt

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

I am inspired.

I do hope I can control it.

 

[Krenee]

nice bike. Got a shot with her on it?

 

[MathGirl]

nice bike. Got a shot with her on it?

Dear Krenee,
No, afraid not. The first time she tried it, the tires burst, shocks busted, and the frame warped. Thanks for asking, though.
MG, DG's amanuensis

 

[gauchecritic]

Vituperative; To use violently abusive language.

Tsk tsk. There's no wonder you edited it.

Gauche

Who has a dictionary and looks up unfamiliar words before using them indiscriminately against poor harmless people who wouldn't normally say boo to a goose but who would try and join in with the joke hoping not to get lambasted with vituperative invective.

 

[Krenee]

Mathgirl, lol,too bad would've love to see that too.


Gauchecritic, thank you.

 

[Octavian]

originally posted by Mathgirl

Snakey, snakey in the grass,

Here's a snake related poem that I wrote. I trust this is well in keeping with the esoteric standards of this thread.

Ode to a pet snake

When you’re feeling down
When things could not be badder
What you need to cheer you up
‘s your very own pet adder.

A calculator, you won’t need
With an adder for a pet.
Percentages and square roots?
He’s not quite got those yet.

Like any pet, a snake can’t talk
Its eyes night say, ‘come hither’
And whilst it won’t go for a walk
It will go for a slither.

Downsides? Yes, there might be one,
This won’t exactly thrill you.
A snake will often think what fun
As it tries to kill you!

Octavian

 

[Guest]

Ode to a pet snake. . .

Oct: this is a prize piece, imho. And, if anyone has the right to be esoteric or enter esoteric environs it's you, pet. Perdita

Aside to G. Lee:
Gabe: inspiration needs be spent; spew away, pet. Perdita's on the edge.

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Perdita's on the edge.

Hold on to your wallet, love.