Naudiz, may I borrow your death ray?

[Raina]

I want to use it on my neighbors.

Pretty please?

 

[Weird Harold]

I want to use it on my neighbors.

Buy an Axe.

Sit on your porch/balcony or next to a window where the neighbors can see you.

Sharpen the Axe, preferablywith a file that makes a noticable rasping sound to attract their atention.

When they inevitably ask what the Axe is for, tell them, "This? This is my new Stereo Equalizer."

 

[Guest]

Let's see...

I bet...

They are loud...

Playing music at all hours of the night...

You can't sleep...

You are cranky...

And when you ask them to turn the music down, they instead, turn it up and play it louder.







Oh, and you can't masturbate because you're tired.


Set the death ray to UTTER disintegration. Zap, fizz... problem solved.

 

[Raina]

Re: Re: Naudiz, may I borrow your death ray?

Buy an Axe.

Sit on your porch/balcony or next to a window where the neighbors can see you.

Sharpen the Axe, preferablywith a file that makes a noticable rasping sound to attract their atention.

When they inevitably ask what the Axe is for, tell them, "This? This is my new Stereo Equalizer."

LMAO!!!

Oh crap that is funny. I just might have to try that. The scary thing is, she might come over here and make me use it. The woman is certifiable.

 

[Raina]

Let's see...

I bet...

They are loud...

Playing music at all hours of the night...

You can't sleep...

You are cranky...

And when you ask them to turn the music down, they instead, turn it up and play it louder.







Oh, and you can't masturbate because you're tired.


Set the death ray to UTTER disintegration. Zap, fizz... problem solved.

OMG Manx, you must be psychic. How did you know all of that stuff?

thanks for the death ray idea in the first place. I just hope Naudiz will let me borrow it.

 

[Guest]

OMG Manx, you must be psychic. How did you know all of that stuff?

thanks for the death ray idea in the first place. I just hope Naudiz will let me borrow it.

__________

We have that kind of ... connection doll.

*Sigh*

 

[Raina]

__________

We have that kind of ... connection doll.

*Sigh*

Great, I have creepy neigbors and a psychic connection with a tail-less cat. Life doesn't get much better than this.

 

[naudiz]

Well, okay, but Weird Harold has a point. Nothing says "Shut the fuck up, asshole" like a well-honed fireaxe.

Just have the death ray back at the Fortress of Doom before Sillyman logs in. I have plans.

 

[Raina]

Thanks!


*sets death ray to incinerate*

*takes aim*


FZZZZZZZ.........fizzle


HEY!! You gave me a faulty death ray! What have you been using this thing for??

 

[Guest]

Nefarious, treacherous fiend.


She didn't even charge it up!

 

[naudiz]

Seasoning scrambled eggs. One zap and you're south of the border!

No wait, that's my pepper spray.

Electrolysis?

 

[Raina]

LOL
Electrolysis? Let me know how that works out for you.


*heads down to Home Depot to buy a fire axe.*

 

[Guest]

LOL
Electrolysis? Let me know how that works out for you.


*heads down to Home Depot to buy a fire axe.*

_______________


Don't forget the FILE!

 

[naudiz]

LOL
Electrolysis? Let me know how that works out for you.


*heads down to Home Depot to buy a fire axe.*

Well, I don't know if I got it all, but I'll tell you what, I am WIDE awake now.

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Re: Re: Naudiz, may I borrow your death ray?

Buy an Axe.

Sit on your porch/balcony or next to a window where the neighbors can see you.

Sharpen the Axe, preferablywith a file that makes a noticable rasping sound to attract their atention.

When they inevitably ask what the Axe is for, tell them, "This? This is my new Stereo Equalizer."

You Would Be A Hoot Ta Be Neighbours With, WH?

 

[Weird Harold]

LMAO

No! No! NO! You have to be able to say it with an absolutely straight face and be very matter-of-fact about it -- no giggles and no threatening tone. Well, meaybe a little condescension, like you use on a backward child, wouldn't be out of place.

When I was first stationed in Germany, I lived in the Barracks for a while. When I was bringing in my shipped baggage, Someone asked what the cruiser weight double-bit axe was for, I used that stereo-equalizer line. (the axe was one I keep in my 4WD but couldn't leave in the truck whenI shipped it.)

I never did have any trouble with "stereo wars" in that barracks.

A friend of mine used a diferent tactic:

One day, after repeated requests for a neighbor to "turn it down," he picked up a pair of diagonal cutting pliers, went next door, and knocked.

When the noise maker ansered the door, he asked politely, "may I come in?"

The noise maker said, "sure."

My friend went inside and straight to the stereo. He leanded down, pulled the power plug from the wall and cut it off the cord.

He handed the noise maker the cut off plug and said, "You seem to have a frayed power cord. You should get that fixed."

He never had any problems with stereo wars after that either.