NaNo research (under protest)

[HisLady]

Hey all - am currently attempting NaNoWriMo (at the sake of my sanity) and TheEarl refuses to play research source for me any more.

There is one scene in the book that is going to be pretty much straight forward erotica (there's another one with a lot of tension but no actual action).

I'm currently struggling writing through this, as the POV is a young man who is adept at one night stands; funnily enough, not a natural mindset for me.

He's been getting on really well with this really hot girl - all systems are go, she's been giving him the green light all evening, and then:

They stood like that, him nibbling and kissing, his hands coming up to cup and squeeze her breasts, her whimpering and whispering and moaning softly when he stroked his thumb along the top of the dress. He delighted in making her make those hot, bewitching little noises; they were driving him wild, making him want to slip his hand inside her dress and…

“Screw this.”

He was jolted out of his thought by her pulling out of his arms.

Mainly a question directed at the guys, though any girls who can answer will be appreciated to - how would you react?

 

[Vermilion]

Hey all - am currently attempting NaNoWriMo (at the sake of my sanity) and TheEarl refuses to play research source for me any more.

There is one scene in the book that is going to be pretty much straight forward erotica (there's another one with a lot of tension but no actual action).

I'm currently struggling writing through this, as the POV is a young man who is adept at one night stands; funnily enough, not a natural mindset for me.

He's been getting on really well with this really hot girl - all systems are go, she's been giving him the green light all evening, and then:

They stood like that, him nibbling and kissing, his hands coming up to cup and squeeze her breasts, her whimpering and whispering and moaning softly when he stroked his thumb along the top of the dress. He delighted in making her make those hot, bewitching little noises; they were driving him wild, making him want to slip his hand inside her dress and…

“Screw this.”

He was jolted out of his thought by her pulling out of his arms.

Mainly a question directed at the guys, though any girls who can answer will be appreciated to - how would you react?

well, I'm a girl, but I would guess the reaction to be something like
"What the fuck?" and then a more/less angry demand for an explanation depending upon the character... remember - you're writing fiction - have him react how it suits the book (and you) to react!

x
V

good luck

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks V.

Where is everyone today? I've been trying to convince her that this is a place full of useful knowledge and the ideal research place and every other bugger's decided to log off.

The Earl

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

Trying to write!

Grain of salt, since this is coming from a girl with a known short-ish temper, but if it were me I'd either laugh at the little bitch or slap her - depending on the situation, what had led up to it, etc.

On the other hand, I normally wouldn't do that to a guy. It's just not really my way to lead somebody on like that and leave them hanging. Or standing straight up. Depending on how far things had gotten, of course.

The main thing is to ask yourself what your character would do. Is he the type to see humour in the situation? Would he get angry? Sit back and scratch his head and try to analyze what had happened? Pick a reaction and run with it. Let your characters take over your head and let -them- write the story.

 

[HisLady]

He only got a chance for speechlessness in the end - she was saying Screw this to waiting for the bus

now they're bundled of in a taxi and she's giving him a handjob, and you know what? TheEarl still refuses to be my research bunny.
It's not like I'm asking him to suffer for my art - then I could understand...

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

He only got a chance for speechlessness in the end - she was saying Screw this to waiting for the bus

now they're bundled of in a taxi and she's giving him a handjob, and you know what? TheEarl still refuses to be my research bunny.
It's not like I'm asking him to suffer for my art - then I could understand...

Could always offer to research the handjob in the back of a taxi...

 

[TheEarl]

Could always offer to research the handjob in the back of a taxi...

She has. Sadly enough, it's one of my two scheduled days a year where I'm really not in the mood.

Beautiful girl. Requires research. Libido gone AWOL. I hate my biochemistry sometimes.

The Earl

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

She has. Sadly enough, it's one of my two scheduled days a year where I'm really not in the mood.

Beautiful girl. Requires research. Libido gone AWOL. I hate my biochemistry sometimes.

The Earl

Beat it with a big stick. Make it behave. Or misbehave, as the case may be.

I'm no good for handjobs, but would volunteer to fool around in the back of a cab anyway, if she's up for it. Maybe.

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

That all depends. maybe she is pulling out of his arms so she can take the direct approach and start taking her cloths off.

If she is putting and end to the evening I would think that since all the blood has rushed to his 'other' head he should be a bit speachless and be going "Huh?" as she says good night and shuts the door on him.

Still, ouch, that is just mean!!!!! Should be and interesting story!!

 

[Weird Harold]

“Screw this.”

He was jolted out of his thought by her pulling out of his arms. [/I]

It would depend on the tone of voice and what she said or did after she pulled away.

My reaction would probably be "That's what I'm trying to do."

 

[MarshAlien]

"I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

The internal monologue, of course, is entirely different: "What the hell is wrong with her? Is it something I said? Son of a bitch!"

Good luck with Nano! I'm there, too. http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/238491.

 

[Just-Legal]

Thanks V.

Where is everyone today? I've been trying to convince her that this is a place full of useful knowledge and the ideal research place and every other bugger's decided to log off.

The Earl

Packing!

*hands Earl a box* You help

 

[Vermilion]

Sorry Earl and Lady - I vanished too, after my oh-so-helpful comments.

Felt rotten and went to bed

x
V

 

[HisLady]

Another question, less protest at asking it.

I'm looking for a turn of phrase somewhere between "Fuck me" and "make love to me".
As in "I want you to X me"

"Fuck me" is the preferable end of the scale, but it doesn't sound right for the character, even though that's what they will be doing...
*sighs* My inner editor is a pain.

 

[MsBri]

“Screw this.”

He was jolted out of his thought by her pulling out of his arms. [/I]

Mainly a question directed at the guys, though any girls who can answer will be appreciated to - how would you react?

I would think the first reaction would be confusion. She's giving all systems go then backs out and the 'Screw this." indicates that maybe she was faking it and decided she'd had enough

But I'm a girl and would never let a guy get that far if I was going to back out

 

[MsBri]

Another question, less protest at asking it.

I'm looking for a turn of phrase somewhere between "Fuck me" and "make love to me".
As in "I want you to X me"

"Fuck me" is the preferable end of the scale, but it doesn't sound right for the character, even though that's what they will be doing...
*sighs* My inner editor is a pain.

Do me?

 

[impressive]

Mainly a question directed at the guys, though any girls who can answer will be appreciated to - how would you react?

I'm the wrong person to ask.

Having essentially done this (with actions rather than words), the guy's reaction was a baffled: "Hey, where you going?"

 

[English Lady]

Do me?

Give it to me.


Fuck me...please?

I want you in me, now.

I need to feel you inside me.

Please...?

(hope those help )

 

[HisLady]

Thank you to all those who are helping.
Next question (one I probably shouldn't be asking, but am going to because inner editor won't let me rest) is there anyone who would be willing to read through this for me, and tell me what they think?

I'm mainly struggling finding the right balance, partly because I haven't really written erotica before, and partly because the rest of the story isn't really going to go near erotica again. Also, this is the first chapter after the prologue, and it feels odd going too intense for just one chapter.

So, is there anybody willing to let me send this to them, and to tell me "Erotica; you're doing it wrong!"?.

 

[gauchecritic]

Ok, in lieu of offering no advice previously. You can send it to me @yahoo.com. Or in a PM or however.