N. Koreans try to blow up space shuttle!!!

[Lisa Denton]

Yes.

It is true, nobody knows but me so I am tryin to get the word out.

Nobody else realized that the N. Koreans tried to launch a missile on the same day that the space shuttle launched. Coincidence, ha, I think not.

They said it malfuctioned, of course it did, they was tryin to blow up the space shuttle, them fuckin bastards.

Anyways. Somehow they has infiltrated the american news, my weather channel is saying there is thunderstorms and shit, yea right, they are somehow even making realistic lighting sounds (unless that is a artillery barrage) but we have been in the middle of a drought and have wildfires burning out of control so I ain't beliving this shit. They are tryin to cut off communications so I can't get the word out, they think I will shut down my computer from fear of a power surge, but this is fuckin national security, I ain't afraid.

How stupid do they think I am?

Anyways, I am screamin to the world the truth, I seen it, like a flash, like a vision burnt across the clouds. So I am tellin the international community, or at least the australians and british cause they can speak american, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK.

Even if the rest of america surrenders belly up to them N. Koreans texas will not go down without a fight.

I gotta go stock up on water and ammo, I'll get back to you as long as I can hold out, Lisa.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

They would. Fuckers.

(Stupid, too: If they're patient the damned thing will blow itself up.)

 

[AchtungNight]

Thanks, Lisa. You conspiracy theorists crack me up. I also live in Texas. Can I share your bunker?

{calms down} Seriously, I just read that story about the missile launch too. It's creeping me out. I once lived in Taiwan, and Mainland China aimed missiles at the capital city all the time. In 1995 they even fired some. They fell short as these did, but I still often worry about what they were thinking. Old Communist generals, full of repressed emotion, longing for the moment of glory when they can blast their phallic ejaculations at the people they claim to hate. There's something almost sexual about it. And now they're claiming a malfunction. Hmm, I wonder if they have this problem in the bedroom too. Their mistresses can probably say for certain.

Again, thanks. You made me laugh.

 

[Lisa Denton]

They would. Fuckers.

(Stupid, too: If they're patient the damned thing will blow itself up.)

I tried to call 911, I couldn't understand it but I think they was sayin "Don't Panic" ....... in fuckin Korean.

I am scared .... but also armed and a texan, them bastards are gonna regret fucking with texas.

I gotta go, my lil doggie is barking "invasion" or supthin like that.

 

[MzDeviancy]

I tried to call 911, I couldn't understand it but I think they was sayin "Don't Panic" ....... in fuckin Korean.

I am scared .... but also armed and a texan, them bastards are gonna regret fucking with texas.

I gotta go, my lil doggie is barking "invasion" or supthin like that.

You're awesome. Let's make out.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Good to see you, Lisa, even though the circumstances are quite dire. I've got tequila and porn, I'll see you in the bomb shelter.

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[AchtungNight]

Yes, it is good to see you. Ignore my joke, I was just trying to laugh along with what I thought was yours. (I'm not kidding about Taiwan though.) Welcome back, friend. I hoped you would return.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Good to see you again, Lisa. I missed you.

Hi Dran ...... uh ....... you got any anti-tank guns?

 

[Lisa Denton]

Yes, it is good to see you. Ignore my joke, I was just trying to laugh along with what I thought was yours. (I'm not kidding about Taiwan though.) Welcome back, friend. I hoped you would return.

?

 

[Lisa Denton]

Good to see you, Lisa, even though the circumstances are quite dire. I've got tequila and porn, I'll see you in the bomb shelter.

Tequila and porn?

I surrender.

 

[Matadore]

Lisa's back! Wonderful!

Hi gal.

 

[Matadore]

My bananas won't dance...must be communists.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Lisa's back! Wonderful!

Hi gal.

Hi ........... watch out for N. Koreans around here.

Here, have a survival knife .......................... oooops.

You can get that blood out of your shirt by soakin it in bleach, sorry.

 

[AchtungNight]

?

I read your posts on JustLegal's newbie thread. I must confess you interest me.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I read your posts on JustLegal's newbie thread. I must confess you interest me.

Ooooooh, thats nice.

But N. Korea is lauchin missiles all over the place and shit, and tryin to blow up the space shuttle and stuff.

In texas we fight first .... and flirt later.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I tried to call 911, I couldn't understand it but I think they was sayin "Don't Panic" ....... in fuckin Korean.

I am scared .... but also armed and a texan, them bastards are gonna regret fucking with texas.

I gotta go, my lil doggie is barking "invasion" or supthin like that.

(Pop, fizz) Here ya go, darlin: Have a Lone Star on me.

 

[AchtungNight]

Ooooooh, thats nice.

But N. Korea is lauchin missiles all over the place and shit, and tryin to blow up the space shuttle and stuff.

In texas we fight first .... and flirt later.

Right. Appreciate the reminder. {starts calling his many gun-nut friends, readying himself to reenact the entire Texas Independence War if necessary} Seize the day!

 

[Matadore]

Lisa?

Since the end is in sight and we will all be the scum on a mushroom cloud soon...Wanna get it on?

(At least I didn't flirt.)

 

[Lisa Denton]

(Pop, fizz) Here ya go, darlin: Have a Lone Star on me.

Thanks, I needed that. There is gunfire all around me ........... or all the neighbors is shootin off fireworks, one or the other.

Down with communism, long live texas!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Down with communism, long live texas!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right. If we're lucky those Stalinist bastards in Pyongyang will enter some pinko metric code or somethin' into the next missile, and it'll turn left instead of right after launch, taking out their Chi-com puppet masters in Peking. Hoo-rah!

 

[Lisa Denton]

Right. If we're lucky those Stalinist bastards in Pyongyang will enter some pinko metric code or somethin' into the next missile, and it'll turn left instead of right after launch, taking out their Chi-com puppet masters in Peking. Hoo-rah!

Oh, I dunno, I mean, I like some chinese foods and stuff, but I think them commie N. Koreans eat lil puppy dogs and stuff. They are launching all kinds of missiles all over the place, and the news said that long range one was launched within minutes of the space shuttle.

They prolly tried to blow up the space shuttle .... and missed .... and then got pissed off and they is tryin to blow us all up ....... and missin.

They get confused with any technology which requires more than a screwdriver and duct tape.

Anyways, thats how come texans are so well armed, so we can save the rest of america when the ground invasion starts.

Keep your nipples hard and your powder dry, Lisa.

 

[Liar]

Ya think tinfoil hats will help? Just asking, cause I've got an extra roll.

Plus, they're kinda sexy, in a nerfy way.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Ya think tinfoil hats will help? Just asking, cause I've got an extra roll.

Plus, they're kinda sexy, in a nerfy way.

You are soooo brave. After all the fighting I am gonna recommend that you get a medal, posthumously of course.

You forgot that tinfoil hats don't work against ballistic missiles, only voodoo curses.

But for a grateful country, thank you for drawing the enemies fire.

 

[Liar]

You are soooo brave. After all the fighting I am gonna recommend that you get a medal, posthumously of course.

You forgot that tinfoil hats don't work against ballistic missiles, only voodoo curses.

But for a grateful country, thank you for drawing the enemies fire.

Oh, I've got a bunker, three thousand feet down into the Scandinavian granite. My tinfoil hat is just a deception so that people will think I'm a loon, until I've installed cable and stashed up enough porn to survive down there until the Apocalypse is over.

Then me and the Swedish Bikini Team will start to repopulate Northern Europe.