My thoughts on bisexuality...

[shepixie69]

((I wrote this in my Live Journal about a week ago...so I just copied and pasted))

MY LJ is friends only, except for 3 public entries.....



Here goes...

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It's painfully confusing when society...is trying to say, "There's no such thing as bisexuality," and even gays and lesbians kind of discriminate against us, in that they really don't want to be with us, because we are seemed to be "flaky" and "can't make up our minds who you want to be with"

To tell you the truth...I don't think of bisexuality that way at all...but I have finally decided that I don't have to decide one or the other. Love isn't a male/female issue. I prefer to think of myself as androgynous. I have mostly feminine looks, but I definetly have masculine personality traits. I may not look it, but I believe that I embody, as myself, both sexes. And to be true to myself, I have to embrace that part of myself.

I'm not flaky because I'm bisexual. I'm not wishy washy, like a lot of people think of bisexual people being. I'm bisexual because that's part of who I am. I don't consider it a curse or a blessing...it just is and that's it.

Not that I haven't felt pressured, and in turn pressured myself to "make up my mind". "Gay or Lesbian". I think some people are just born with male and female traits.

I have the (well, what most society would consider predominantly male) traits of being sometimes loud, very blunt...I say what I say and I usually mean it at the time, and often have to apologize later. And most of the time, I really don't care about my hair and my clothes...as long as their clean, I'll wear them. (no i WON'T pick em off the floor)...but color coordinated I am often not. My more feminine qualities exist in that I love to listen to people, LOVE having friends, not just for the sake of having friends, but for the sake of genuine friendship...and I hate being rushed through sex...



((So for those of you who remember me, the one who was "questioning" whether I was lesbian or bisexual....here's my answer))
L8RS
she

 

[Phoenyx]

Agreed.

Now this isnt gospel but Ive heard it said some people view BI's this way..


They are just confused Homosexuals Who havent shosen their path in life..


I like to fuck both sexes.. So what! Im still me.

 

[MissTaken]

It is a difficult choice whenever we deviate from the norm.

Honestly, it has taken me some time to stop thinking about what society thinks, what "people" would think, or even what my mother would think.

If I am happy with myself, anyone who passes judgement on me can't touch that.

 

[ammre]

I am bisexual.. and i will admit.. i feel flakey.... why? well...

I am in a loving dedicated realtionship with a boy, sadly he can't give me all the things i desire even though i love him. Sometimes it causes conflicts... If i weren't so dead set on being faithful i do believe that my desire for the feel of both genders would have broken our relationship upo.. thus making it a sorta.. "flakey" relationship...

well jsut a new aspect to consider...

 

[Mysticcal]

well said pixie....you put many of my thoughts into words and I am so glad you shared it here with us.

I find myself attracted to a person, their sex does not matter. I believe the soul is androgynous and that is what attracts me. I have mainly found myself with men as that is what was expected of me, but I have found it so limiting, it is a relief to finally openly admit I also love women. This has definitely caused a few problems where I work, lost a couple of so-called friends, but it also opened my eyes and made me see that it is time to move on from there.

LOL! and flaky I can be, but that has little to do with my sexual preferences

 

[Etoile]

I wrote this in my journal in February 2003; it's the link referenced in my signature. These are my own thoughts on bisexuality.
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A friend sent me an interesting article called Bi For Now, originally from New York magazine. I don't especially like the words "hasbian" or "LUG" but I suppose I know what type of women the author is talking about. What bothers me, though, is the suggestion that there are clearly-delineated groups here. I'll explain what I mean.

Some people think Anne Heche was heterosexual before she met Ellen DeGeneres; Anne may even have thought this herself. When Anne and Ellen were a couple, Anne was called a lesbian. (Ellen's sexuality was never questioned.) When the couple split up and Anne became romantically involved with a man, she was again called "straight." For a long time, I was the only person I knew who suggested that hey - maybe she's bisexual! For reasons I have yet to figure out, nobody considered this possibility.

Amy Sohn's article allows for bisexuality, but still maintains some distinctions. Some of the women interviewed say they tried being bisexual, but it didn't work out. One woman, though, expresses my feelings very well. Gender is not a factor. For years now I have maintained that I care more about the person than what they keep in their pants. I have called this "peoplesexual" at times, simply because most people interpret my statement as admitting I'm bisexual. I definitely identify as a lesbian and a dyke, but I refuse to close my mind off to the possibility of a relationship with a man. I've even dated a couple of guys, back in high school and college. It just so happens that I feel more emotionally comfortable and better aligned with women than I do with men, but if I were to meet a guy (I'm not single, but if I were) who was right for me I wouldn't be opposed to a relationship with him. I don't think I would get to that point, simply because I do feel more comfortable with women.

So there you have it. Yes, I would have a relationship with a man if he were the right person for me. If the right person for me was transgendered, that would be fine too. If the right person for me is a woman, so be it. Call me bisexual if you want to. Call me omnisexual, peoplesexual, a slut, whatever. I prefer to identify as a lesbian, and isn't it my self-identification that should matter to the rest of you?
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If you want to comment, please consider going to my site and leaving a comment on this entry. Or just comment here - thanks.

 

[waterhousefan]

Well, I identify as bisexual, and have always felt comfortable doing so. It was in college when I fell in crush with a man and a woman at the same time that it really came home to me.

Now I am in a very dear relationship with a man, and as part of our commitment to eachother, we've chosen not to deny each other any experience that the other might want. So I can love him freely, and still have a relationship with a woman someday if I want. I guess this is what they calll an open relationship, which amusingly is a label I'm less comfortable with than bisexual. But one cannot control who. what gender what situation, that one loves, and it is only through the trust we have for one another that we have the faith that the other will always be safe and come home.

Sorry, off my loveydovey soapbox,
thoughts,
waterhouse

 

[Sterling]

I don't think there is homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality.

There is only sexuality.
I have to say, that I am only physically attracted to some women. Funny, Its not all women as Hetero would imply.
(Hetero meaning The opposite Sex)
I wouldn't say that I am physically attracted to men, but I sometimes like to have my dick sucked by them and return the favor.
(Which wouldn't necessarily be Bisexual because I am not physically attracted to either sex as a whole.)

Which would leave... just... Sexuality.

 

[Queersetti]

I don't think there is homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality.

There is only sexuality.
I have to say, that I am only physically attracted to some women. Funny, Its not all women as Hetero would imply.
(Hetero meaning The opposite Sex)
I wouldn't say that I am physically attracted to men, but I sometimes like to have my dick sucked by them and return the favor.
(Which wouldn't necessarily be Bisexual because I am not physically attracted to either sex as a whole.)

Which would leave... just... Sexuality.

I respect your opinion about this, but I'd ask if you can understand how, to those of us to whom our homosexuality is a core part of our consciousness, that attitude can seem dismissive?

 

[Sterling]

I don't see how its Dismissive... I can understand how you think that only homosexuality is your core. Its just the same as saying, "Blacks, Asians, and Caucasians are ALL different"

They are really the same thing, except for skin-tone.

I can 100% understand how you are only physically attracted to some men. I am sure you are not attracted to EVERY man...

Thats just my view point on the sexualities...

 

[Queersetti]

I don't see how its Dismissive... I can understand how you think that only homosexuality is your core. Its just the same as saying, "Blacks, Asians, and Caucasians are ALL different"

They are really the same thing, except for skin-tone.

I can 100% understand how you are only physically attracted to some men. I am sure you are not attracted to EVERY man...

Thats just my view point on the sexualities...

The "all one sexuality" argument, like the "colorblind" view of race is dismissive because it ignores the fact that there are real and significant cultural influences on the formation of our personalities.

If you are not gay, on what do you base the premise that being gay is exactly like being straight, except for who you fuck? By what means would you know such a thing?

Being gay, like being black,informs your every social interaction in a society where you are clearly designated as an "out-group".

So I find it dismissive when it is said that it's all the same deep down. That is like telling me that none of my experience counts, except for the particulars of my sexual encounters themselves.

I hope you understand that I do not impute any ill will to you in this discussion, I just don't think you understand what it means to self identify as gay. With all due respect to bisexuals, it's not the same, only more so. It is something wholly other.

 

[Sterling]

Fair enough...


I don't know what it is like to be gay which is true... I can only comment on my experiences.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

I Pull clothes off the floor to wear.. have a killer sense of fashion usually... don't wear make-up or dresses unless forced to... dispise being inside.. and love sports..

yep I'm bisexual.

So far my.. "other" has been pretty cool about it, but we'll see if it ever comes up how he'll react about how girls are different then boys... and I look at the physical differences about as much as the emotional and mental ones..

I see Gender when I look at everyone.. But it's just not a decideing factor in my views of a possible mate? If that makes sense to anyone... I see.. male.. female.. transgendered... ect.. It just doesn't influane my decision... If I find the person physically,emotionally, and mentally. They could be a Eunich for all I care..( well not iterally because I'm a lil' nympho BUt you get the point being made)

 

[Queersetti]

Fair enough...


I don't know what it is like to be gay which is true... I can only comment on my experiences.

I understand that, and I appreciate your attention as I gave my views on the issue.

 

[Todd-'0'-Vision]

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[april-wine]

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Everybody say hello to D8teRape.........

 

[MzChrista]

The "all one sexuality" argument, like the "colorblind" view of race is dismissive because it ignores the fact that there are real and significant cultural influences on the formation of our personalities.

If you are not gay, on what do you base the premise that being gay is exactly like being straight, except for who you fuck? By what means would you know such a thing?

Being gay, like being black,informs your every social interaction in a society where you are clearly designated as an "out-group".

So I find it dismissive when it is said that it's all the same deep down. That is like telling me that none of my experience counts, except for the particulars of my sexual encounters themselves.

I hope you understand that I do not impute any ill will to you in this discussion, I just don't think you understand what it means to self identify as gay. With all due respect to bisexuals, it's not the same, only more so. It is something wholly other.

Q rocks.

 

[MzChrista]

Everybody say hello to D8teRape.........

Im glad you said something because I didnt notice at first that wasnt the real Todd.