My pussy tightens instead of getting wet.

[wildbrownskin]

I'm an 18 year old female and the idea of being dripping wet is only a fantasy to me. I've never had an orgasm and I think it's about time. But the thing is I've tried but it never seems to happen. Am I doing it wrong, I don't know! I just know when I get horny there are times when instead of getting wet my pussy hurts. Is it normal? Or any kind of tips would be a life saver.

P.s. I do have a boyfriend and he barely ever gets me turned on. And he is quite hot.

 

[fire_breeze]

I'm an 18 year old female and the idea of being dripping wet is only a fantasy to me. I've never had an orgasm and I think it's about time. But the thing is I've tried but it never seems to happen. Am I doing it wrong, I don't know! I just know when I get horny there are times when instead of getting wet my pussy hurts. Is it normal? Or any kind of tips would be a life saver.

P.s. I do have a boyfriend and he barely ever gets me turned on. And he is quite hot.

Welcome to Lit

I hate to say it, but you are only 18. Most young ladies your age never had an orgasm - it's quite normal as it takes a lot of time to figure out how to unlock your body, so to speak. Continue to masturbate, fantasise and explore your body (preferably on your own or with a loving partner) to get to know what does it for you. It will probably take quite a bit of time, but rest assured that you are quite normal in regards to not orgasming.

More concerning, though, is not getting wet and tightening up. If you haven't already, get thee to a doctor for a complete pelvic check up. You should pay a visit when you first become sexually active or when you turn 18, whichever comes first, as seeing as you're both, now is a good of a time as any. When you do, make sure you tell your doctor that you are tightening up. This is to rule out any physical reasons (such as vaginismus), many of which can be remedied. You may also have a psychological blocker (a traumatic experience) which manifests physically. A good therapist can help you overcome these. Or, you may not just be interested in sex itself, that is to say, you identify as asexual. There is nothing wrong with that either - it's just how you're wired. Your subconscious may be simply telling you that you do not desire sex and your body is tensing up as a result (and this could also be if you have had a traumatic experience as well). There are a number of support group for asexuals (who may or may not crave physical contact such as cuddling, but just have no desire for sex). Either way, I strongly suggest a trip to a doctor first and make sure you tell them what's going on. There is nothing to be ashamed of; they are there to make you better and besides, they've heard it all before.

Oh, and by the way - your boyfriend not turning you on, despite being hot? Being attractive has NOTHING to do turning a person on. I have worked with some truly stunningly beautiful people and nope, nada. Nothing. If your boyfriend isn't turning you on, then it's a matter of chemistry or connection as opposed to how attractive he is. So just because he looks like Vin Diesel or *insert your Vin Diesel here* doesn't mean that you'll automatically turn into a panting, panty-sopping nymphomaniac. It just means that he looks like Vin Diesel. If you two do not connect on some level, if there isn't some sort of attraction, then all the Vin Diesel-ness and hotness will not turn you on. Sorry about that.

Good luck.

 

[SweetErika]

I love it when you read my mind, Breezy!

I don't really have anything else to add, WildBrown. You'd be very wise to discuss this with a doctor who specializes in female sexual wellness (they're often female urologists or OBGYN's with a particular interest in sexual health and wellness). I had a condition that is kind of similar to what you're describing, and even though my OB at the time was really great at her job, I had to see a specialist to get the proper diagnosis and treatment (although it eventually resolved itself with home treatment). Not always--but OFTEN--there's a psychological component to vaginal/vulvar pain, even if it's just one that's developed because of the pain. So, don't be alarmed if your doctor suggests that as a possible factor.

 

[xtinelauren1]

You need to see a doctor as soon as you can. Regardless of whether or not you're sexually active, your lady bits shouldn't be causing you that much discomfort. As far as not wanting to have sex with your boyfriend, maybe there's a part of you that just isn't attracted to him, or maybe you're asexual. I've met plenty of super attractive people who just did nothing for me.

And it's completely normal to not want to engage in sex, maybe you should look into asexuality. Sex isn't this all-encompassing life force that some people on lit make it out to be. You're still 18 and figuring how things work as far as your body and sex goes, and you don't have to psych yourself out if you don't have all of the answers right away. But seriously, you need to see a doctor.

 

[robertreams]

See if you can find an old copy of (or a reprint) "Our Bodies, Ourselves". Then go for it. Also you might want to read my 'how to' https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-locate-your-lovers-g-s

Also, saliva is a wonderful replacement for lube, make him brush his teeth first thought, don't want a dirty mouth down there.

 

[sunandshadow]

I agree with the above above - vaginal pain often has medical causes, see a gynecologist.

2 small things to add though:

- Being dehydrated will reduce the amount of lubrication your body can produce, so make sure you are drinking enough water or sports drink or tea. Things like soda, juice, coffee, or beer/wine aren't very hydrating even if you drink lots.

- Vaginas aren't the only or main way to have an orgasm. The majority of female orgasms are clitoral ones. Boyfriends are also not necessary to orgasming, in fact they can distract you too much. IMO it's best for young women to learn to masturbate to orgasm before even trying to have sex with a partner.

 

[Athalia]

I can't answer that poll honestly because it isn't correctly worded.

It is normal for a women to not want to fuck.

It is not normal for a women to never want to fuck (although it happens, and I'm not being judgmental).

Fucking should not be uncomfortable. If it is, I support the suggestion that you see a gynecologist. The cause could be physical. Or it could be psychological ... fear of not pleasing, fear of doing it wrong, fear of pregnancy, fear of intimacy, fear of whatever. Even minor discomfort can be magnified into deal-breaking pain, if your mind is looking for an excuse to bail. All these things can be addressed professionally.

It is a rare man indeed who can be a good lover to such a woman, since most men are too focused on their own sensations to pay much attention to what's happening with his partner. You may need to educate your boyfriend in matters of lovemaking. Don't worry ... if he's a keeper, he'll learn. Be patient with him, and encourage him to be patient with you.

 

[SalomeAhriman]

See a Doctor

You should not be experiencing pain. Tightening is normal during arousal, pain is not. I hope you have already seen a doctor. If not, see one as soon as possible.

There are many reasons for a woman not to want sex. If you don't want to have sex, don't try to push yourself into having sex.

If you have not yet learned to experience sexual pleasure, your boyfriend will probably have a difficult time pleasing you, no matter how hot he is. That is not necessarily his fault. It may help if you learn to pleasure yourself before you try to find sexual pleasure with a partner.

You may be expecting more liquid than it would be normal for you to produce. I agree with sunandshadow about making sure that you are properly hydrated. It is important for your general health and could help with this situation. But don't expect a cup of liquid to come pouring out of your vagina just because you became aroused. It is perfectly normal for a woman to need additional lubrication such as KY Jelly or baby oil.

 

[SalomeAhriman]

Welcome to Lit

I hate to say it, but you are only 18. Most young ladies your age never had an orgasm - it's quite normal as it takes a lot of time to figure out how to unlock your body, so to speak. Continue to masturbate, fantasise and explore your body (preferably on your own or with a loving partner) to get to know what does it for you. It will probably take quite a bit of time, but rest assured that you are quite normal in regards to not orgasming.

More concerning, though, is not getting wet and tightening up. If you haven't already, get thee to a doctor for a complete pelvic check up. You should pay a visit when you first become sexually active or when you turn 18, whichever comes first, as seeing as you're both, now is a good of a time as any. When you do, make sure you tell your doctor that you are tightening up. This is to rule out any physical reasons (such as vaginismus), many of which can be remedied. You may also have a psychological blocker (a traumatic experience) which manifests physically. A good therapist can help you overcome these. Or, you may not just be interested in sex itself, that is to say, you identify as asexual. There is nothing wrong with that either - it's just how you're wired. Your subconscious may be simply telling you that you do not desire sex and your body is tensing up as a result (and this could also be if you have had a traumatic experience as well). There are a number of support group for asexuals (who may or may not crave physical contact such as cuddling, but just have no desire for sex). Either way, I strongly suggest a trip to a doctor first and make sure you tell them what's going on. There is nothing to be ashamed of; they are there to make you better and besides, they've heard it all before.

Oh, and by the way - your boyfriend not turning you on, despite being hot? Being attractive has NOTHING to do turning a person on. I have worked with some truly stunningly beautiful people and nope, nada. Nothing. If your boyfriend isn't turning you on, then it's a matter of chemistry or connection as opposed to how attractive he is. So just because he looks like Vin Diesel or *insert your Vin Diesel here* doesn't mean that you'll automatically turn into a panting, panty-sopping nymphomaniac. It just means that he looks like Vin Diesel. If you two do not connect on some level, if there isn't some sort of attraction, then all the Vin Diesel-ness and hotness will not turn you on. Sorry about that.

Good luck.

fire_breeze,
I'm curious about your claim that most eighteen year old females have never had an orgasm. Where did you come by this belief? Is it from a study on human sexuality? Your personal experience? Something your mother told you?

Honestly, considering that there are documented cases of babies masturbating before they are old enough to walk, I would be astonished to learn that most females reach the age of eighteen without ever achieving an orgasm. To me, that would be staggering proof of just how much societal expectations could warp the natural responses of human beings. But I confess to being quite skeptical.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Honestly, considering that there are documented cases of babies masturbating before they are old enough to walk, I would be astonished to learn that most females reach the age of eighteen without ever achieving an orgasm. To me, that would be staggering proof of just how much societal expectations could warp the natural responses of human beings. But I confess to being quite skeptical.

Don't know your country of origin, however, here in the states, we like to talk a good game that we know all and teach our children well, however, when it comes to all manners of sex education, the masses fall woefully short of the mark.

The reality is, our children reach adulthood with little more than the internet and their peers for knowledge, a very dangerous combination. Are there exceptions to this, ABSOLUTELY, however, this is more the general norm than most would like to think.

Don't be surprised that a young person has not had sex, reached orgasm, or whatever else may be expected of a person their age. I can tell you that by my experience this is quite normal. Hell, I know adults into their 40's and 60's with sexual hang-ups that should have been long since exorcized from their existence.

Point is, don't kill the messenger, and preferably, get to know those to whom you are responding to BEFORE you start typing.

 

[SalomeAhriman]

Don't know your country of origin, however, here in the states, we like to talk a good game that we know all and teach our children well, however, when it comes to all manners of sex education, the masses fall woefully short of the mark.

The reality is, our children reach adulthood with little more than the internet and their peers for knowledge, a very dangerous combination. Are there exceptions to this, ABSOLUTELY, however, this is more the general norm than most would like to think.

Don't be surprised that a young person has not had sex, reached orgasm, or whatever else may be expected of a person their age. I can tell you that by my experience this is quite normal. Hell, I know adults into their 40's and 60's with sexual hang-ups that should have been long since exorcized from their existence.

Point is, don't kill the messenger, and preferably, get to know those to whom you are responding to BEFORE you start typing.

I hardly KILLED the messenger. I merely asked for the source of this claim.

I am not in the least surprised to learn that someone would reach the age of eighteen without having sex. I'm not even the least bit surprised to learn that someone would reach the age of eighteen without having an orgasm.

I would, however, be surprised to learn that MOST eighteen year old females in the U.S. have never achieved an orgasm, and THAT is the claim for which I would like to have a source.

Take the time to understand what I have written before YOU start typing your response.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

quoted from BJUI...

While many women experience sexual problems, for those ages 18 to 30 the No. 1 complaint is trouble reaching orgasm, while older women mostly complain about lack of sexual desire, suggests a new survey of patients at a New Jersey urology clinic.

In the study, researchers asked 587 women ages 18 to 95 about six key areas of female sexual dysfunction (FSD): lack of desire, arousal issues, lack of lubrication, problems achieving orgasm, lack of satisfaction and pain during intercourse.

Sexual dysfunction rose with age in all categories except orgasm, with more than half of women ages 18 to 30 reporting orgasm problems, significantly higher than women ages 31 to 54. Overall, about 63 percent of the women reported suffering from sexual dysfunction.The top three problems by age group were:

Ages 18-30: orgasm (54 percent reported this problem), desire (36 percent) and satisfaction (28 percent)
31-45: desire (48 percent), orgasm (43 percent) and satisfaction (40 percent)
46-54: desire (65 percent), satisfaction (53 percent) and orgasm (48 percent)
55-70: desire (77 percent), orgasm (66 percent), satisfaction (65 percent)
Over 70: desire (96 percent), satisfaction (88 percent) and orgasm (87 percent)
Other key survey findings included:

The most sexually active age groups were 31-45 year-olds (87 percent reported sexual activity); 18-30 year-olds (85 percent); and 46-54 year-olds (74 percent). Numbers dropped for 55-70 year-olds (45 percent) and in the over-70 group (15 percent).
The top overall problem was lack of desire (47 percent), followed by orgasm problems (45 percent), arousal issues (40 percent), lack of satisfaction (39 percent), lack of lubrication (37 percent) and pain (36 percent).

I'm too lazy to give the APA citation right now.

Regarding the studies that reveal how a fetus or infant will masturbate, you still don't find that they orgasm. They tend to touch their genitals simply because it feels good.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I would, however, be surprised to learn that MOST eighteen year old females in the U.S. have never achieved an orgasm, and THAT is the claim for which I would like to have a source.

Spend more than 30 seconds on the site and you'll have all the study data you need.

 

[SalomeAhriman]

While many women experience sexual problems, for those ages 18 to 30 the No. 1 complaint is trouble reaching orgasm, while older women mostly complain about lack of sexual desire, suggests a new survey of patients at a New Jersey urology clinic.

In the study, researchers asked 587 women ages 18 to 95 about six key areas of female sexual dysfunction (FSD): lack of desire, arousal issues, lack of lubrication, problems achieving orgasm, lack of satisfaction and pain during intercourse.

Sexual dysfunction rose with age in all categories except orgasm, with more than half of women ages 18 to 30 reporting orgasm problems, significantly higher than women ages 31 to 54. Overall, about 63 percent of the women reported suffering from sexual dysfunction.The top three problems by age group were:

Ages 18-30: orgasm (54 percent reported this problem), desire (36 percent) and satisfaction (28 percent)
31-45: desire (48 percent), orgasm (43 percent) and satisfaction (40 percent)
46-54: desire (65 percent), satisfaction (53 percent) and orgasm (48 percent)
55-70: desire (77 percent), orgasm (66 percent), satisfaction (65 percent)
Over 70: desire (96 percent), satisfaction (88 percent) and orgasm (87 percent)
Other key survey findings included:

The most sexually active age groups were 31-45 year-olds (87 percent reported sexual activity); 18-30 year-olds (85 percent); and 46-54 year-olds (74 percent). Numbers dropped for 55-70 year-olds (45 percent) and in the over-70 group (15 percent).
The top overall problem was lack of desire (47 percent), followed by orgasm problems (45 percent), arousal issues (40 percent), lack of satisfaction (39 percent), lack of lubrication (37 percent) and pain (36 percent).

I'm too lazy to give the APA citation right now.

Regarding the studies that reveal how a fetus or infant will masturbate, you still don't find that they orgasm. They tend to touch their genitals simply because it feels good.

I agree that most women have difficulty achieving orgasm at some time or another during their lives. And a woman having difficulties achieving orgasm falls within the category of "problems with orgasm". That's not the same thing as NEVER having had an orgasm.

Any time a man finds himself having difficulty achieving erection, he is said to have erectile dysfunction. That doesn't mean that he has NEVER had an erection.

 

[SalomeAhriman]

Spend more than 30 seconds on the site and you'll have all the study data you need.

I assume that you're being facetious and that you understand full well that this would hardly qualify as data gathered under the rigid criteria of science.

 

[desertslave]

I hardly KILLED the messenger. I merely asked for the source of this claim.

I am not in the least surprised to learn that someone would reach the age of eighteen without having sex. I'm not even the least bit surprised to learn that someone would reach the age of eighteen without having an orgasm.

I would, however, be surprised to learn that MOST eighteen year old females in the U.S. have never achieved an orgasm, and THAT is the claim for which I would like to have a source.

Take the time to understand what I have written before YOU start typing your response.

I agree with you, I'm rather surprised by that claim, as well. I'm also surprised by (and skeptical of) NM's claim about sex ed, but perhaps I'm more progressive than many. I know our schools are, in general, sadly lacking (especially with this abstinence-only nonsense becoming more and more prevalent), but most of the parents I know are knowledgeable and willing teachers.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Keep in mind that you are on a sex forward forum, so opinions here are obviously going to be skewed, aka, "well, I teach MY children . . ." We are not the norm, we are the exception, because we are a sex forward segment of society. Without casting aspersions about the general masses, let's just say, the masses are NOT as sex forward in their thinking. Think I'm off my rocker? Take a look at the mainstream political stance on education, sex education, and the bills they pass on women's reproductive rights rights. Not enough, go ahead, delve into the theological side of education, sex education, and women's rolls in society. Again, I am casting NO aspersions, merely pointing out the prevailing viewpoint of society as professed by those we have put above ourselves to guide us in our ways.

As far as "empirical, scientific data", you say this as if it means something. Data, ALL data is interpreted by someone, somewhere, and it is manipulated to reflect whatever they are trying to sell. If you want that kind of data, there is plenty of it out there in all manner of human research journals if you care to go looking. If you'd rather put your finger on the pulse of what's really going on, then you look at the questions that get posted to social media and forums like this, and you get a very accurate representation of where the populace average is.

I will end my comments here because I am certain that I have nothing to say that will sway your way of thinking, nor you to me, so let's part as friends and drop the subject.

 

[SquirtnBrat]

I can remember the days where my vulva would swell and pulse, aching with desire; maybe that is what she has experienced but didn't know the terms? I remember my lips swelling and becoming darker pink, thinking I was a total freak, the changes were huge to me but my gyno laughed it off. The OP hasn't replied to any of the above advice, so let's hope she saw her doc and things are well.

 

[Conager]

I agree that most women have difficulty achieving orgasm at some time or another during their lives. And a woman having difficulties achieving orgasm falls within the category of "problems with orgasm". That's not the same thing as NEVER having had an orgasm.

Any time a man finds himself having difficulty achieving erection, he is said to have erectile dysfunction. That doesn't mean that he has NEVER had an erection.

Plus these women were patients in a urology clinic. They went there for some reason that may have been related to the above things. Maybe it should say, "Of the patients with sexual issues, this was how it broke down."

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Plus these women were patients in a urology clinic. They went there for some reason that may have been related to the above things. Maybe it should say, "Of the patients with sexual issues, this was how it broke down."

not to prolong a discussion that will go nowhere, but these women were not patients in a urology clinic. Random sampling was used and then an international group of urologists was used to determine level of evidence for literature.

I somewhat agree that the discussion has turned to dissection of an argument instead of an effort to answer questions posed by the op. To the op, best of luck to you.

 

[MyRubiLips]

Any one else find it odd that the OP abandoned her quest for help to post Am Pics?