My poems/songs

[LastLostIdols]

Probably don't rhyme but this is the best I can do. These are more songs than poems, I don't know. I like writing them but they are probably awful.


[removed]

 

[Senna Jawa]

format

Different people may feel differently about the format. When it comes to me, I am not going to read a poem/song center-formatted (there would have to be very special reasons, rather exotic, to make an exception; not here).

 

[Senna Jawa]

standard format!

Probably don't rhyme but this is the best I can do. These are more songs than poems, I don't know. I like writing them but they are probably awful.


Beautiful Irish Bastard

He just couldn’t slay that urban beast
A beast on the hunt
[...]
We were devils in the night

Oh, you have changed the format. Great! I will read your stuff.

A time ago a regular participant Rybka (who died years ago, so sad) used to have some of his poems centered, which to me was not a great idea. However he was playing intensively with graphics, and his centered format was only an element of his design.

Best,

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Poems don't have to rhyme, in fact the majority of poets here don't. It's only die hards like myself still enjoy form poetry. If you like the way you write square your back against those that say different and carry on. I enjoyed your poems but I'm glad also that you stopped centre aligning them (excuse my strange spelling of 'centre' I'm English )

 

[Senna Jawa]

"Beautiful Irish Bastard"

Hi Lost, I volunteered to read but I cannot be of any help. I've read your first song/poem. I have too little contact with your text, style, ... I can't judge what is just familiar, and what is a cliche (once or twice perhaps it must be the latter but I don't know). I only guess that you know what you're doing, and that you do it well.

At the end I wondered:

Don’t mistake this insecurity for vanity
Please
Don’t mistake this insecurity for vanity​

I would never allow this kind of so-called talk. Can't you say it poetically? Especially at the end of a poem? The moment you decide on poetry you'll put some effort (creative effort of course ) and you will find it, and you will do it.

Best regards,