QuickDuck
God
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2001
- Posts
- 15,569
I, the Penis, hereby request a rise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labour
* I work at great depths
* I plunge head first into everything I do
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in! high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
The Response...
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulation, such as wearing the correct, protective clothing
* You will retire well before you are 65
* You are unable to work double shifts
* You sometimes leave your designated work before you have complete the assigned task
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting ! the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
* I do physical labour
* I work at great depths
* I plunge head first into everything I do
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in! high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
The Response...
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulation, such as wearing the correct, protective clothing
* You will retire well before you are 65
* You are unable to work double shifts
* You sometimes leave your designated work before you have complete the assigned task
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and exiting ! the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
