My obsession

[Guest]

Hi Literotica people:

I'm hoping you can offer me some advice because I really need it.

I am a 25 yr old woman and I've never been the type to... what's the word... develop crushes or infatuations over men. Until now.

There is this guy who comes by where I work and I swear to God, he just does it for me. I've fallen hook, line and sinker.

The problem is, he does not reciprocate my interest. (He very politely declined my offer for a coffee date.... even if it was a lame excuse -- I'm really very busy these days, yadda, yadda.)

And for awhile, about 2 weeks or so, he didn't even come by my work and I didn't see him. I thought that was going to be the end of it, even though I wondered why he felt the need to avoid me and my place of work.

Well, now he has started coming by again, and I'm still obsessed with him. I feel that I can act relatively normally (as normally as one can when one's heart is singing just at the sight of the man) when he's around and I serve him, etc. And we talk as friendly as we ever did.

Which is driving me mad! It is so hard to unlike someone who is, in your eyes, perfect. And who continues to act in such a kind, friendly way to me. He's becoming like an addiction to me and it's getting out of control.

What I want to know is, if you aren't interested in a person whom you know has an interest in you, do you continue acting so friendly and nice?

And, how do I become unobsessed with this dream man??

Thanks in advance for your advice. I can really use any tips.

 

[Guest]

Hi,
Just wanted to try and help.
Step one. His friendliness may be genuine and warranted, but he may be already involved with someone else. Find out via co-workers, etc. if he is/isn't. If he is involved, MOVE ON!

Step two. He's not involved? Start being seen by him more often. Don't be TOO friendly, though. Be almost business-like. Make a lot of eye contact, and if the occasion allows, brush by him, make EXTREMELY subtle physical contact. Be patient. Be careful! By the way, he may not be the type who appreciates women making the first move, so you might not want to ask HIM out. You may want to ask for his help with something, though. (Car trouble? Work crisis? Make sure it's not TOO serious)

Step three. It's either gonna happen or not. If it happens...yeay! If not, you HAVE to move on. An obsession can be fun, but once out of control, look out. The best way to get over someone you can't have is to not be around them, and focus all that energy on something else, or someone else.

GOOD LUCK. I hope that helps, and I wish the best for you.

[This message has been edited by dlphn (edited 02-05-2000).]

[This message has been edited by dlphn (edited 02-05-2000).]

 

[Guest]

Thank you dlphn!

I've given this a lot of thought since last night.

No, he's not involved with anyone, this I'm sure of. I've come to the hesitant conclusion that he is the type of person who is really friendly and polite and kind, etc, but who also doesn't let people get too close. Do you know the type I'm talking about? So I think more than a lack of interest in me or whatever, it was merely a "I don't want anyone too close" kinda deal.

Which still leaves me in a quandry. I know I want to get closer, whether friendship-wise or more. But if he's not going to let me closer, I can't help that. It's not the type of thing one can push.

Anyway, things seem a bit more realistic in the clarity of day (and after a good conversation with another friend who helped put things in perspective.)

Thank you for your advice, dlphn. I'm going to continue to be friendly to him, etc, see what happens.

K