My Mother The Car

[Hypoxia]

Long ago (1965-1966 season) in USA was a 30-episode TV series, often called the worst ever made (along with Jerry Springer). A fellow buys a classic vintage jalopy and discovers that his mother has reincarnated into it. She speaks from the radio, and only to him.

Eroticize this. You buy a used car, and it's infested with your late mother; only you can hear her. You go on dates, and she critiques. You screw in the back seat, and she moans. Does she share your orgasms? Does she talk dirty? Do you develop a phone-sex-type relationship?

Twist: Your partner also buys a used car, and it's infested either with your late estranged father or aunt, or one of your partner's parents. The cars argue with each other a lot, and they blab the details when you or your partner are screwing around.

Variant: My Mother-In-Law The Car. Your new used car is haunted by the late mother of your ex or current partner. She only talks to you. Maybe you had a good relationship when she lived, and she's supportive. Or maybe you were enemies, and she only disses you. But then things improve.

 

[sirhugs]

I'd like the idea except my mom is the antithesis of a turn-on.

 

[Hypoxia]

I'd like the idea except my mom is the antithesis of a turn-on.

How about your mother-in-law? Or a deceased aunt or sister or cousin? My slightly older sister died when we were both toddlers, so I can fantasize about her endlessly, same as the aunt she looked like (in photos). But as a title, MY SISTER THE CAR just lacks something.

 

[BurningMonkey]

Twist: Female buys used car and discovers it to be the reincarnation of her late father, about whom she always harbored incest fantasies. The car is a standard transmission, 4-on-the-floor stick shift. Hilarity ensues.

 

[Carnevil9]

If I recall, "My Mother The Car" and "The Mothers In Law" were both on the air about the same time, mid-sixties. Sounds like you are doing a naughty mash-up!!

I'd make the persona in the car be the dude's late MIL, with whom he had an affair when she was alive. She keeps reminding him of his shortcomings. When the story goes viral and they want to turn it into a movie, they'll have to dig up Eve Arden. Nobody could make a snide comment like her.

Here's your title: Auto Erotica.

 

[Hypoxia]

When the story goes viral and they want to turn it into a movie, they'll have to dig up Eve Arden. Nobody could make a snide comment like her.

Is she still around? Ann Sheridan was the original. But this is a new millennium! No, the 'now' voice would be Ellen Degenerate, er I mean DeGeneres. She does snide too, right? Or for a REALLY scary voice, try Ann Coulter.

Twist: More haunted cars exist, a whole below-the-radar community of them, all chattering amongst themselves, and plotting. The follow-up story or series to MY MOTHER(-IN-LAW) THE CAR would be THE CARS MEN DON'T SEE. (That's an homage to James Tiptree / Alice Sheldon.)

Here's your title: Auto Erotica.

I'll save that title for a SciFi tale about a robo-car loaded with dildonic devices, mechanical tentacles, pipes and tubes, self-guided orifices, pheromone atomizers, etc. Passengers and/or passers-by of all genders and orientations are trapped and titillated, their precious bodily fluids sucked from them, left high and dry and post-orgasmic.

EDIT: The "robo-car loaded with dildonic devices" should be described as possessing many "sexual vacuum-cleaner attachments". (Hatsoff to S.King.)

Maybe the vehicle is a possessed VW transporter -- call it the Sexwagen or Fuckswagen. (I mentioned the former in one of my RON tales.) Or maybe it's an Edsel, y'know, with the vaginal grille. Yeah, an Edsel hearse, plenty of room for horizontal activities.

 

[sunandshadow]

Why not just skip a few steps, have the vehicle be a transformer or other mecha, and actually have sex with it?

 

[Hypoxia]

Why not just skip a few steps, have the vehicle be a transformer or other mecha, and actually have sex with it?

MY MOTHER THE TRANSFORMER has a certain ring to it, hey?

 

[Carnevil9]

MY MOTHER THE TRANSFORMER has a certain ring to it, hey?

Now you're just being silly.

 

[Hypoxia]

Now you're just being silly.

And??