My most recent story is languishing

[peachykeen]

I am not sure if it is because the first letter of the title falls low in alphabetical order, so people don't look that far, or if maybe is is because it is a second chapter in the Novels category but the first chapter hasn't been moved from its previous category (I'm working on gettig it moved) or what.

But the thing is I do think it's actually pretty darn good if I do say so myself, but I've gotten absolutely zero feedback on it so far except the 17 people who have voted on it (out of 2000ish 'reads') and it has stayed constant for a week now.

Although it's probably best read with Chapter 1 first, I think it can stand on its own as well.

Any comments appreciated. Stories can be accessed via the link below.

 

[Chicklet]

Hey Peachy!

first off, I really did enjoy the first chapter = ) Secondly, being the bitch that I am, I have to ask when you asked for the first chapter to be moved into Novels/Novellas? Just out of curiosity.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume a couple of things. I know what you're going to say..."when you assume" and such and such and such. Okay, an ass am me. I don't think that any story gets less reads due to the alphabet - I used to think so, but then I realized that whenever I click on a story category I get put into a random section of it. Also, there are so many of most letters that the ones at the end of the alphabet are the ones that I don't just skim through. I actually read what those one's are about. Plus, your title is interesting, and I don't think I would have been able to skip over it if I'd seen it.

I think you're right about the reason for fewer reads being the two different categories. When I see a Ch. 02 I usually don't read it. The reasons for that are that I hardly ever remember the first chapter! If i'm REALLY interested, I'll click on the author name and go find the first chapter, but usually I'll just skip over it and go on to the next. Since your story is in Novels, and there's only the short second chapter, it doesn't seem to fit. That's why I wouldn't read it if I were your average reader.

Chapter 2 really stands on its own, it doesn't need a first chapter at all. It seems more like an episode in that way, know what I mean? Same characters, different situation that isn't *really* connected to the first. I think you could have titled it something else with a small note in the beginning of who the characters were and where they were from. But chapters works too, of course.

I don't know what else to say...it might have been more appropriate to put both chapters in "nonconsent" or "bdsm" and in my experience non-consent gets LOTS of reads and feedback...or even to have put chapter two in erotic couplings just to be paired with the first chapter.

I'm sorry you haven't gotten much feedback or votes...I think the story was excellent. GOOD LUCK!!!

-Chicklet

 

[peachykeen]

Thanks, chicklet.

I asked for a name change (to add the Yes, Officer bit) and for Moving Violation to be moved from the EC category to Novels when I submitted Chapt 2 a couple weeks ago. Originally I hadn't intended for it to be a continuing story but as time has gone by I've realized I want to keep it going - Officer Powell has more plans for our dear protagonist The name change was done but the move wan't made. I'll have to send another note I guess.

 

[requerdos]

Enjoyed the conflict and resolution.

Especially the "heartbreak" at the end. It helps to illustrate the real psychology that drives her to allow it to happen...again and hopefully again.....

Sgt. Powell is a good character too. He knows what he wants, how to manipulate situations, and how to control them to his benefit. But his last line is most redeeming. Nice touch.

I appreciate the lengthy build up to the anal entry. Through Officer Powell's control of the scene, it showed your control as an author. That is, other authors might have been tempted to go straight to the anal immediately after suggesting it.

While your story helps me to more clearly understand the passion for non-concent scenarios, I still don't know what's at the core of many womens' desire for it. Is it the submission? Is it the control / being controlled? Is it the aggression and unrighteousness of the act?

Maybe its all of the above and more that I'm not even conscious of???

Thanks for the insights and hot story.

requerdos

 

[Chicklet]

Thanks, chicklet.

I asked for a name change (to add the Yes, Officer bit) and for Moving Violation to be moved from the EC category to Novels when I submitted Chapt 2 a couple weeks ago. Originally I hadn't intended for it to be a continuing story but as time has gone by I've realized I want to keep it going - Officer Powell has more plans for our dear protagonist The name change was done but the move wan't made. I'll have to send another note I guess.

here's what you do (sorry if it's what you did)

Re-Submit Ch. 1, put Novella's as your category, and at the bottom in the notes tell her you want the chapter removed from EC. In the title you'll need to write RESUBMISSION though. Again, sorry if that's what you did...all the times I've done that it only took a couple days to get my story moved.

-Chicklet

ps - keepin' eyes open for new chapters

 

[Guest]

 

[peachykeen]

Cheers and thanks to you all for your lovely comments. Actually now I am considering moving both chapters to non-consent, as per chicklet's suggestion. Although I don't know if it exactly qualifies, as I don't see her as not consenting - although she certainly never verbally says, say, "Yes please officer, throw me over the hood of your patrol car and fuck me hard", she never really says no either, and in both chapters he gives her subtle opportunities to express any wish she might have not to continue. And I am thinking perhaps in the next installment she will in some way deliberately seek him out. Hmm. Maybe BDSM is really the place for them. Hmmm.

Thanks Lime and requerdos; I quite like the way these characters are developing as well and although as I said I didn't at first think it was going to be more than one episode, I think I rather like these two and would like for them to have a few more adventures together. Haven't started writing anything else yet, just batting ideas around in my brain.

Like:

-maybe she learns Officer Powell is married, and has to deal with the emotional conflict of being an 'other woman'

-or finds out that she is not the only motorist he has, ahem, pulled over

-he manipulates her by implying he can use his authority to make life difficult for another man she has been seeing if she continues that relationship

anyway, I'm just turning stuff over in my head.

Requenos, as far as your 'why' questions go, I have to say, I really don't know. In a way, writing this kind of story is an attempt to understand it myself; I guess in a way I am vicariously exploring this kind of sex through this particular female character. I'm not in the BDSM scene, far from it LOL Although my lovely husband is happy to oblige me with a jolly little spankin' from time to time, we're really quite boring most of the time. I'm not really interested in kitting out a dungeon and a PVC wardrobe and buying lots of props (no disrespect to anyone that is, more power to ya, just not my thing) but I also wonder what makes a woman like this character tick and why she is accepting of this treatment from him, and how far she'll let it go. So, it's kind of an experiment for me too.

 

[Guest]

 

[requerdos]

Peachy -

Obviously, I'm interested in her motivations too.

I read Chapter 1 (very good) and found some clues:
1. Eligibility - She is somewhat daring (clubbing, dressing to attract, etc..)
2. Prohibition - she's not allowed any indulgences that night as she is the "designated driver". (we want most what we can't have)
3. Willingness - she's ready to let something unexpected happen during the traffic stop.

I think Sgt. Powell, giving credit to the character that he is, recognizes these elements immediately. But it is his actions that illustrate the final clue: security.

You hit the nail on the head when she describes her feelings about his abductive behavior as "safe". She seems to feel well protected under his weight and command.

She is allowed, therefore, to explore beyond her personal boundaries, beyond normal convention and even beyond the law because it is safe to do so under his protection. She can become most eligible, most unihibited and most willing when she knows the consequences for doing so are out of her control but trusts that they are in his. The sexiest part is that she is willing to renounce her rights and securities as a law abiding citizen for the opportunity to be governed and protected by Sgt. Powell instead.

Maybe this is at the heart of the D/s relationship in general. The submissive must comply with another's will, but gets to grow in ways never before possible. While the Dominant must provide the comfort to do so, but receives the satisfaction of the control entrusted by the submissive. We'd have to talk to some BDSM lifestyle folks to get the real scoop on this.

I couldn't have come to any of these conclusions without having recently offered feedback to a similar story. The protagonist allows herself to be taken by two uniformed police officers. I equated them to "knights in shining armor". If you've got a moment read the thread started by Romanticwench - Longtime listener first itme caller....and see my comments there.

Sgt. Powell should be a focus of your development. He is a great protector: compassionate, disciplined, strong, willful, etc...Under his burden of protection I can see many women enthused for the comfort of secure sexual exploration, obedience and devotion. A secret Harem of women into which your female character is introduced one delight at a time!

I think the small town setting is all the better as she begins to learn the psychopathologies of the baker's wife, the librarian, the home care nurse, the widowed school teacher, etc....The circle among them keeps getting tighter as they share their secrets with him and each other. Aaww, happy ending!

requerdos

Here's the link to the thread I mentioned (hope it works) :
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=181898

 

[peachykeen]

Many thanks for your thoughtful insight, requerdos. Much to think about. Thanks again to you and Lime (and of course the lovely ms chicklet) for all of your helpful comments.

At the moment I am knuckling down on a story I have been working on (on and off, in fits and starts) for nearly a year now and I am putting Sgt Powell and what'shername (I don't believe I've ever given her one, I'll have to think about that, hmmm) on the back burner for a bit. Don't worry though, they'll be back

I am computer impaired at the moment - am at an internet cafe now, but this will be rectified soon so I will be sure to check out the other story as soon as I can do it with a greater amount of privacy than I happen to have at this moment!