CarolineOh
Newbie Phase Two
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2002
- Posts
- 4,762
I have been divorced for almost three years, and some days it still sort of sneaks up on me and feels like a punch in the stomach. I don't want a pity party, because I'm happier now than I have ever been in my life, but still I feel like venting. If anyone else wants to use this thread to vent as well, come on in, there's plenty of room.
I met Robert when I was 23. I was working as an asst. manager at a hotel and he came in for a conference. We chatted a bit, and he came back later and asked me to have a drink with him. I did, and we started going out. He was not like guys I'd dated before. I had mostly gone with bad boys, the kind of guys who were in bar bands at night and slept all day. Robert was suave and urbane. He treated me better than any man ever had. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes immediately.
The first problem was with his old money Grosse Pointe family. They were not happy that we planned to get married in a Catholic Church. And as far as they were concerned, I was a "grubby little Polack gold digger"(That's an exact quote, btw). But anyway, that wasn't the main problem.
We went to Italy for our honeymoon. The first night in Rome was a romantic dream come true, we spent the whole night sipping wine and eating cheese and olives and making passionate love.
And that was it. It was like he got it out of the way, like a duty. Ten days in the most romantic cities on earth, and we didn't have sex even one more time. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he was exhausted from the stress of the wedding, and the travel, etc.
After we got back, things were better for a while, but sex was almost always at my instigation. We would go weeks at a time without sex. I tried all sorts of things to spike his interest,and I made it plain to him that I was willing to try anything he wanted. Every once in awhile it would work, and we'd have a short period where it was great, but then it would just taper off again. Sometimes I tried to tell myself this was normal, other times I blamed myself. I became very depressed. I didn't take care of myself, and I gained a lot of weight. Of course, then I felt even more unattractive, and I'm sure he felt I was more unattractive to him, so it just cycled down and down.
We were married eight years. The last two were completly sexless. at least on my part. I didn't want to think he was seeing someone else, but in my heart I knew he was. He would come home hours after he was supposed to, and he would get up sometimes after I went to sleep and go on the Internet for hours, and on a couple of occasions I suspected he snuck out of the house in the middle of the night.
So, one night I came home from work early. Robert's car was there but the house was dark. I went up the stairs to the bedroom and caught him in bed with his male lover. Let me tell ya, that'll fuck with your head.
Well we tried to talk through it. He explained to me that he had struggled for years with his bisexuality, but he couldn't see that it wasn't that he was bi, but that he had destroyed my trust in him. All those years I felt it was my fault, my problem, that I wasn't sexy enough,or pretty enough, or thin enough to make him happy.
Goddamn it, it still pisses me off.If he said he was gay, OK, nothing I could do about that, but bi, that really pisses me off. I would have done threesomes with him, hell yes I would have. I'd have used a strap on , or even given him space to go out and play with the boys if he wanted.
AAAAARRRRGGHHHH Robert, you dumb ass!!!!! Damn, damn, damn!!!! You stupid bastard, all you had to do was be honest!!
Well fuck him, he was so afraid to let it come out to his snooty damn family why we were divorcing that I got the settlement deal made in heaven.
Goddamn jerk.
Whoo, I feel much better now.
Thanks for listening
I met Robert when I was 23. I was working as an asst. manager at a hotel and he came in for a conference. We chatted a bit, and he came back later and asked me to have a drink with him. I did, and we started going out. He was not like guys I'd dated before. I had mostly gone with bad boys, the kind of guys who were in bar bands at night and slept all day. Robert was suave and urbane. He treated me better than any man ever had. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes immediately.
The first problem was with his old money Grosse Pointe family. They were not happy that we planned to get married in a Catholic Church. And as far as they were concerned, I was a "grubby little Polack gold digger"(That's an exact quote, btw). But anyway, that wasn't the main problem.
We went to Italy for our honeymoon. The first night in Rome was a romantic dream come true, we spent the whole night sipping wine and eating cheese and olives and making passionate love.
And that was it. It was like he got it out of the way, like a duty. Ten days in the most romantic cities on earth, and we didn't have sex even one more time. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he was exhausted from the stress of the wedding, and the travel, etc.
After we got back, things were better for a while, but sex was almost always at my instigation. We would go weeks at a time without sex. I tried all sorts of things to spike his interest,and I made it plain to him that I was willing to try anything he wanted. Every once in awhile it would work, and we'd have a short period where it was great, but then it would just taper off again. Sometimes I tried to tell myself this was normal, other times I blamed myself. I became very depressed. I didn't take care of myself, and I gained a lot of weight. Of course, then I felt even more unattractive, and I'm sure he felt I was more unattractive to him, so it just cycled down and down.
We were married eight years. The last two were completly sexless. at least on my part. I didn't want to think he was seeing someone else, but in my heart I knew he was. He would come home hours after he was supposed to, and he would get up sometimes after I went to sleep and go on the Internet for hours, and on a couple of occasions I suspected he snuck out of the house in the middle of the night.
So, one night I came home from work early. Robert's car was there but the house was dark. I went up the stairs to the bedroom and caught him in bed with his male lover. Let me tell ya, that'll fuck with your head.
Well we tried to talk through it. He explained to me that he had struggled for years with his bisexuality, but he couldn't see that it wasn't that he was bi, but that he had destroyed my trust in him. All those years I felt it was my fault, my problem, that I wasn't sexy enough,or pretty enough, or thin enough to make him happy.
Goddamn it, it still pisses me off.If he said he was gay, OK, nothing I could do about that, but bi, that really pisses me off. I would have done threesomes with him, hell yes I would have. I'd have used a strap on , or even given him space to go out and play with the boys if he wanted.
AAAAARRRRGGHHHH Robert, you dumb ass!!!!! Damn, damn, damn!!!! You stupid bastard, all you had to do was be honest!!
Well fuck him, he was so afraid to let it come out to his snooty damn family why we were divorcing that I got the settlement deal made in heaven.
Goddamn jerk.
Whoo, I feel much better now.
Thanks for listening
