My Letter To You

[trudee]

It happened then so very fast. One minute she was thrashing with a stronger Delmar, doing her best to keep her face above the water, when suddenly "Mathew'' was there!

Air was gasped as the action of ''Mathew's'' needed strength flipped her free from Delmar, and she went under swallowing mouthfulls of water. When she surfaced, all Mia could see was ''Mathew''. The fury of his tone, and the ridged hunch of his shoulders as he loomed over the other man spoke more than anything he might have said.

"...........That's my wife you tried to rape, prick."

She heard the break of bone, then the vanishing of the pair into the tree line, and Mia chose to remain threading water where she was, as bare seconds passed before she heard a single shot.

The place felt twice as cold then, and she started shivering. It was pitch black with no moon, and her teeth chattered as she waded back towards the shallow water, right when "Mathew'' emerged running from the trees, dropping his weapon, running right into the water as she got her feet under her.

There was no objections to his embrace as she groaned her relief against his shoulder.

She couldn't cry, though she was weeping bitterly, as she moaned on deep gulped sobs, hanging on to his tshirt. The cold she felt was different from being cold of wet. She felt cold inside, and her head throbbed with the drop in her inner temperature. Until the chill of the grass numbed her knees, she wasn't even aware he'd gotten her out of the water, and as tightly as ''Mathew'' was holding her, she was holding him back. That he was in tears over what had happened offered her far more comfort than she'd have understood earlier.

"It's ok, Mia. You're safe now. You did well holding him off as long as you did. Dear God, when I heard you screaming , all I could see was terrible images of what could have been happening to you. But, you're safe now. I wont let -"

She tasted blood then, and was aware only when she was literally face down in the grass, that her bottom lip was still bleeding. ''Mathew'' was standing in front of her armed again, bawling into the darkness angrily.

"Name yourselves or the body count goes up!"

For some reason then, she remembered he'd called her his wife. As much as earlier she would have hated him for it, she was thankful for him now, and for him falling into an unwanted role as a husband to a women who disappointed him.
Closing her eyes, she tried to stop herself from being weakened by what had happened, and what could have happened. He'd saved her. Mia was in no doubt that he'd saved her, and saved her from more than the sureness that Delmar would have left her for dead 'after'.

Bronson was there with three of his men. She'd heard him calling back to ''Mathew'', and wasn't above being afraid of his reaction to what happened. Delmar had been the main enforcer of Bronson's laws.
Lifting her head, she looked up from the grass, and saw him, and he saw her. The sag of his shoulders told her instantly that he got it. Got what had happened, and got that he wasn't in any position to question any actions that were taken by ''Mathew'' to protect her.

''Jesus''.

He looked past where she was still laying, and saw the man she'd managed to shoot and she saw how his jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth. Nodding to two of the guys behind him, they branched off,- one heading towards the dead man, the other into the trees . Almost instantly he called back that he'd found Delmar.

Mia was aware that she was in a wet cotton bra and briefs, so when she stood, she stood right behind ''Mathew''. Not shivering was impossible, so when she tried to speak she faltered as her teeth chattered so badly and gave up trying. He looked at them both, and seemed almost afraid to ask.. .

''Did they.......''?

She shook her head, and rested one of her hands on ''Mathew's'' shoulder, pointing her finger to him..

'' ''Mathew'' came''.

Bronson nodded, and nodded once to ''Mathew''..

''Fuels just gone down in the town. They were supposed to be meeting a supply trying to get through.''

He looked at Mia and ran a hand through his hair.

''I didn't know. I swear to God I didn't know they'd disobeyed orders and come up here''.

She pressed her mouth against ''Mathew's'' shoulder, and inhaled against the chattering of her teeth before spoke shivering badly.

''You....owe...us''

Bronson frowned, but raised his hands understanding there was about to be payback for what happened.

''Um...sure..What do you want''.

Huddling in behind ''Mathew'', he as wet as her, - her towel too far away to reach without Bronson seeing a Mia she'd no intention of showing him.

''You kept that...bastard around..when you knew he was ...dangerous....So you owe us......''

and she shivered again and continued.

''.....mortar....tools......Whatever you got that we need .....to be secure here''

He lowered his head and shook his head, moving a bit closer as the two guys returned. They muttered something to him about taking care of the dead, and Bronson nodded before the two disappeared back into the woods.

''Mia, you know we got a system that.........''

''I don't give a flying fuck what you got Bronson..You OWE me for this. You owe us. You brought that fuck around here.!''

He looked at ''Mathew'', and then back at her and came a little closer to where the bucket of wet clothes were and reached for the towel, tossing it towards her. Mia stood where she was still, - pressed up against ''Mathew's'' back, wrapping the towel around her back and shoulders, .....tugging it as close to ''Mathew'' as she could also.

''I'll do what I can ..ok? Give me a day or two.''

Pressing her mouth against the back of ''Mathew's'' shoulder, she slowly shook her head..

''Mmmm no. Friday. You owe us that much.''

He almost smiled.. but it faded as he looked at ''Mathew'' and spoke tightly.

''She's a real peach. There'll be a truck of what you need up as soon as the markets done. Try not shoot anyone.''

He looked at the weapon ''Mathew'' held, and then back to the one man that had remained with him and nodded..The guy stepped back into the tree line waiting for his boss, as Bronson began to back away from the couple.

'' Again Mia. I am real sorry 'bout this. Quite honest, with you bein' up here on your own all along, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner''.

He looked at ''Mathew'' then and gave him a long look, while speaking to Mia.

''Lucky your husband came back when he did''.

And then they were gone.

It was tense again...but it was a different tension. What anger there was, wasn't for once directed at each other. She felt awkwardly aware of looking like a rag doll, and she was deeply embarrassed at what happened. Suddenly Mia understood why so many women blamed themselves when they were attacked, and she blinked back against the tears in her eyes, and the sense of loneliness it gave her.

But she did move back from him . Not to escape him, but because she believed he'd done enough for her,- and with Bronson gone now, the need to conceal herself so close to him was gone. So she gathered the towel around her body to her chin, concealing herself behind its meager folds instead .

For once she didn't see the man that had taken waiting for Mathew away from her. For once she didn't want to hurt him with a comment or disregard him. For once she wanted to do right by him, and what he'd done...but she didn't know if saying thank you was enough, or even if it was something that a 'wife' would say to a 'husband'. So she just settled for what felt right on her lips, and sincerely from within herself .

''Are you ok Matt?''

 

[marauder13]

Brett may have had his rifle up, be he was ready to drop it back down and shoot at a moment's notice. One of the townies led some others back to 'have fun' with Mia, but he was not going to trust many of them for a while. He watched them all like a hawk, and hid nothing from any of them. He tracked the two that moved off, shifting his direction to allow him to cover all four equally. He was slightly relieved when they focused on looking for the dead bodies.

He jumped slightly as he felt Mia press herself to his back. But once she was there, there was nothing he did to change it. She sought his protection, and he willingly gave it. He felt her teeth chattering, her entire body shaking but he stayed in place, protecting his 'wife' from the potential animals that were near them.

He kept his mouth shut. He wanted to yell his lungs out telling Bronson about how fucked up his town was. But he had just enough sense to keep quiet. Instead, he listened, observed took note of everything he could as Mia spoke on their behalf. The world was not a place were people could pick and choose their circumstances, and had to make so with what they had.

He drew strength from Mia. Through everything that happened to her, she used him for comfort, support and protection. How much of what she was doing was sheer pragmatism, and how much was a shift in her feelings towards him, he could fathom.

''You....owe...us''

'She's got that damn on the money.' He let his expression crack a little, allowing him to let loose a small, crooked smile. 'Damn, Mathew. You really were a lucky bastard to find her. I'm also sorry you'll never see her again. I'll do my best to keep her safe, I promise.'

''I don't give a flying fuck what you got Bronson..You OWE me for this. You owe us. You brought that fuck around here.!''

Brett brought himself back to the matters at hand. His pride in Mia grew. This was more like the woman he had got to know through the letters. This was the woman that he wanted to meet. The strong, brave woman who stood up for what she believed in. His attention honed in on Bronson as he reached for the towel, carefully tossing it to Brett's off side so Mia could remain warm.

'Tick, another step closer to being a human again, Bronson. Keep it up.'

He half listened to the remainder of the negotiations between the two locals, all the while trying to ignore the sensations of Mia's body pressed so close to his back. He was becoming sharply aware of her shape. The soft bulge of her breasts being squashed against his back. The tight plane of her belly and the softness of her lips both bypassed the fabric's defensive layer. He was even aware of the fabric that covered her, little that is was.

''She's a real peach. There'll be a truck of what you need up as soon as the markets done. Try not shoot anyone.''

"Make sure that they honk five times before they break into the clearing. And Bronson, you have no fucking idea how lucky I am to have ever met this woman."

He dropped the weapon enough to have both hands on it as the men started to back away. His faith in them was close to nothing, and he was not going to trust them enough to grant them the benefit of the doubt. Words were spoken again, but then Bronson's gaze was locked on Brett.

''Lucky your husband came back when he did.''

"And don't you fucking forget it either." Not a word in reply as the four of them faded into the woods. Brett stood as still as a statue, waiting. he listened intently, noting that the sounds were growing softer, but carefully waiting to make sure that no one was hanging around. He held his ground, and position even when Mia stepped away from him. He was happy and disappointed that she stepped back. Both because he had no bodily contact with her, and the low, reassuring joy he got from it. He was at least more capable of moving safely with her a little further back from him.

''Are you ok Matt?''

Her voice was so different he hardly recognized it as hers. He also was not fully used to associating himself with Mathew that he forgot she was talking to him. "Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little buzzed from the fight, pissed about what's happened and a few other things that got caught up in the mix."

He looked around for her clothes, and the bucket she brought up with her. He found both, grabbing them up quickly. When he spied her wrapped in the towel that barely covered her body, he snapped into his disciplined past.

"Right, let's get you back home, and into bed. You're already cold, and things could get worse if were not quick enough." He slung his rifle, and wrapped his free arm about her shoulders. He moved her as quickly as he could back to their home. He didn't bother about politeness, he just took her inside without pause. He found her bed, and efficiently laid her down, and covered her with the blankets that were on the bed. He dashed back to his backpacks, grabbing his sleeping bag. He fully unzipped it and covered her with it. Without any word, or pauses, he stripped down to his boxers and tshirt, and found his way into her bed behind her.

"You need the heat. I don't want you getting hypothermia just because you attracted the wrong kind of attention. I'm not going to maul you, or anything like that. Also, please forgive any nearly automated biological reactions to the proximity of a reasonably attractive woman. Good night, Mia."

He kept himself close, occasionally brushing her body with his whenever one of them moved. He somehow managed to will his hammering heart to slow enough to let him finally sleep.

~||~​

Bronson was good to his word. Late on the Friday, the truck turned up with the proper warning, carrying a bevy of tools for Brett to use. He found shovels, a pick, hammers, some nails, a mallet and three chisels, a wood plane, an axe as well as a saw. A few coils of rope rested against a few bags of mortar. But what caught Brett's eyes was a basket of fresh fruit and vegetables.

"This is a little thank you from several of us down in the town. We heard you got rid of Delmar. This is an apology from us for not doing it earlier. I hope your wife is OK."

"Yes, she wasn't hurt beyond a few bruises. Luckily, she held him off long enough for me to... see to him properly."

"Well, if you need a hand for any short term jobs, get word back to town. Ask for Jake. That's me. I'll make sure I get up here and do what I can."

Brett nodded, relaxing somewhat. "Thanks, Jake. If there is a need, I'll send word."

Together, they unloaded the truck quickly, and Brett made sure that everything was placed in a proper spot. He was really happy with what Bronson had organized for them. His plans started to take firmer shape, and along with it his confidence grew as well.

He was still adjusting to her presence, allowing her the privacy she needed and wanted when getting dressed and bathing. Likewise, he took caution not to expose himself around her.

Sunday saw him stripped to the waist, using the pick to break up a few troublesome pieces of earth. He was preparing the ground for the foundations of the improved structure. The plans had been finalized in his mind, and he was working on making the reality of their circumstances meet his expectations. It also allowed him the time to think about how he and his 'wife' were getting on. With all of his focus on making their home liveable, Brett hadn't been paying too much attention to how Mia was faring. She had been fairly shaken up by the assault. He just didn't know how best to approach her, so he went about his business, spent time talking to her as best he could, trying to not end up fighting or hurting her.

"Well, I am who I am," he muttered to himself between swings of the pick. "She's just going to learn to live with it. I'm not trying to hurt her, but I'm not going to coddle her either." He worked for another hour before taking some time out for a break. He dropped his tools, and took a walk down to the pool. He knelt down, splashing some of the water over him then taking a few mouthfuls to quench his thirst.

He sat down on the cool grass, in some scattered shade, and stared at the memorial Mia put up for her husband.

 

[trudee]

The days that came and went were odd, strained, yet alive in a way for Mia that she'd not experienced in a very long time. It wasn't enjoyable. But it did at least give her a purpose, ...even if it was only to try avoiding ''Mathew's'' company when possible. She was polite. She was also absent as much as she could..and yet she knew almost every move he made, because it was her weekend to take the nights in the tower. Sleeping on a fold out cot when she needed to during the early part of the day, watching him work below when not. She paced outside on the walk around at night, viewing the mountains for moving lights, aware he slept below in the lean-too.

It gave her time to think. The striking part was, being attacked wasn't what she had to think about. It was what had happened after.

She'd woken Thursday morning, having tucked herself in against ''Mathew's'' heat in her sleep; she waking to feel his warm breath against her temple, her cheek turned towards him, rather than away. While she appreciated the need for his warmth that night, it also embarrassed her that she could betray herself when her consciousness rested. Rising had been a challenge, in trying to ease out of a bed that was generous for one person, but snug for two. She still wasn't sure if he'd just allowed her keep her pride by remaining silent as she escaped outside to dress quickly, before getting the fire going again..and sharing a simple oatmeal breakfast.

That night, she'd taken the first of her nights up top in the tower, and had just sat for the most part thinking. If Delmar had gotten his way, maybe her mind wouldn't have been so easily drawn away from their struggle in the pond. Maybe if he'd done what he'd wanted to, she wouldn't remember the musk from the bedclothes, that was very male and very warm. Maybe if Delmar had succeeded, Mia wouldn't feel guilty, because not waking alone felt so much better than the stirring of only her limbs in an otherwise normally empty bed.

**

He worked hard. When she woke later in the afternoons, she'd climbed down prepared to help him with what ever was needed..if he needed her. Otherwise, Mia kept to herself. She washed their clothes, kept the fire and food going, and then in the evenings, returned up to the tower to resume the scheduled overnight duty.

They didn't say much to one another. And Mia found she wished he'd talk to her. Say something that would give her a reason to resent him again.

But ''Mathew'' didn't.

He was polite, diligent in his determination to provide for them a place that might be a home for them, and not just a shelter. There were times, when she lingered on the outskirts of what he was working at, that she didn't feel she belonged there. So, she would pull back again - but never because of an action or a word from him. Only because she believed it.

By Sunday she was exhausted. Sleeping during the day had never been something she did easily. Nature had a way of insisting that a body should be active in the day light, so from Thursday night to Sunday, she'd slept only about 4 hours in the mornings. It was done now though for a month. The rota moving on to one of the other towers, taking the over nights in turn.

He was shirtless. Each swing of the pick wrung the muscles of his shoulders out, defining each strain and stretch of them. Sweat dabbled his back with a glistening sheen, and his hair was wet against the nape of his neck. She was coming down the ladder, paused half way, and just leaned back against the safety cage and watched him.

Why didn't he talk to her? What had happened hadn't been mentioned, and while she didn't want to, or feel the need to speak about the incident, ...it actually hurt her that ''Mathew'' had said nothing more. She had wanted to thank him..to assure him she was fine..and continue passing an olive branch that had briefly broken through a cold barrier. But he didn't say anything...and she'd been afraid to mention it...embarrassed to. And the olive branch was stranded.
So she believed then that he had brushed it aside...done his part by saving her, and had just let it slide. A 'Thank you' was never said..or shown.

He had a way of confusing her. He had a way of making her confuse herself. She resented him...yet wanted to know he wasn't indifferent to her. She hadn't wanted him there..yet now she couldn't keep her eyes off him when he was in view. She didn't like that he was doing what a husband should do. He had called her his wife...yet she wasn't...yet they were here, making a home because to others they were a couple. But it was a home that she didn't feel included in. Nothing in her head made sense anymore. Mia might not be outright angry anymore, but the lack of surety troubled her. It was easier being angry all the time. She'd had a purpose then. To survive, get by, defend and keep alive. Being unsure, left her ...vulnerable. Vulnerable made her afraid.

Taking two apples with her, from the fresh appreciated basket, Mia followed him on down to the pond, and found ''Mathew'' laying back in the shade resting. Mathew's stone was close by, like some rigid reminder of who she was and who Mathew was. The pond had been for months a place she enjoyed..a place that had been calming, relaxing..a diversion. Now, with the stone so close, and ''Mathew'' needing to use the pond, it felt that the stone was in the wrong place. Now also, that Delmar had sullied it with violence.

''Hey.''

She tossed one apple towards him, and crossed to him until she was by his side. Squatting down, she rubbed her own apple in her tshirt before taking a bite. The day the supplies arrived, Mia was back up top, and hadn't come down. But she'd heard the inquiries about herself, the drivers thanks to ''Mathew'', and the offer of help if needed. He was being accepted. She resented being glad of that. Resented that decent people could see him as good when she wanted to see ''Mathew'' as intrusive. But it was getting harder to,.. and conscience was a bitch that loved stripping contentment back and wiring Mia wrong.

''Do you..Um..Your shoulders. You should wear your tshirt''.

It had been a beautiful day, ..and ''Mathew's'' torso had a healthy glow, but his shoulders were a little red. She looked then at her apple, and turned it between her fingers..

''I..''

She chewed the side of her lip, and rose up, turning back towards the tower..

''Fish. I'll put the fish on the pan.''

Mia just didn't know what to say.. how to say it...how to begin.. or what to begin. She didn't want to go. ..but she couldn't stay. She did't want to say the wrong thing, and yet the right thing was still something foreign. Fuck him..he's killin' me''. Biting into the apple, Mia walked towards the little path that led back up to the tower, and the adjoining project that ''Mathew'' was working on. With a flip of her wrist, she tossed the remainder of the apple into the undergrowth unable to finish it.

''I'll call you when it's ready.''

 

[marauder13]

Brett had zoned out as he stared at the rock placed to remember a lost husband. Brett pondered his future, whether to stay in the town, whether to make things work with Mia, or to hold his own until it was safe enough for him to slip away, and search for something somewhere else. He was still trying to work out Mia. He honestly didn't know how to best approach her. She seemed to not like him being around, yet liked his presence. His going by her husband's name probably made her slightly angry that he was somehow corrupting her memories, or merely reminding her of her loss.

Then there was the Delmar incident. He saved her life, and got rid of the low life fucker in the process. But he had no idea of how to deal with it now. Was he OK to bring the subject up, or did he have to wait her for to do it? How long was a decent time to let it rest before dragging it out into the open? Would he need to be subtle, guiding any talk to a point where she opened up? Or would he need to be blunt and just throw it in her face?

Also there was how he was feeling about her. While she was not who he thought it was, there were glimpses there from time to time. How she talked to Bronson after Delmar attacked her. That was the woman who braved so many challenges to get to where she was. He caught how she looked at him on occasions, like when she was climbing down the tower and stopped part the way. It felt nice to be appreciated like that, because he sure as hell appreciated her in similar ways. She was still a striking woman, one that stirred his blood enough to have his body ready itself to take her.

"Hey."

He blinked a few times, returning to the world in time to intercept the apple that arced through the air towards him. He smiled when he looked at the fruit. He saw Mia squat beside him, giving the apple a rub before taking a good bite out of it. He gave his a rub against the pants' leg, then followed her example. The apple was sweet, with just the slightest touch of tartness to it. The firm flesh of the fruit filled his mouth delightfully, bring forth a groan of satisfaction. The coolness of the juice seemed to make his entire body cool down a little.

''Do you..Um..Your shoulders. You should wear your tshirt''.

"Mhmmm," Brett swallowed the crunched up apple. "I know. I'll remember next time."

He saw her break her gaze, looking at the apple that tumbled nervously in her fingers. He didn't know if she was doing to stop looking at him. He wasn't a vain man, but he did enjoy her looking at him while he was shirtless.

''I..''

He could tell there was something on her mind. He felt her starting to open up and say it. But when she stood up, he knew that the moment had passed, and she locked it up again. Her back was to him when she broke her self imposed silence.

''Fish. I'll put the fish on the pan.''

He looked at her incredulously as she walked away from him. There was no way she had walked all the way down there just to tell him what she was going to cook. He took a savage bite out of the apple, channel his frustrations out on his food rather than on her. She came down, seeming to be relaxed and possibly even a little friendly. But then it all went pear shaped. He looked at her retreating form, stiff, rigid, unbending. Someone like her needed to be more graceful, relaxed and flexible.

But of all the things that happened, it was the flick of her wrist that sent an apple flying into the bushes that angered him the most. A rare commodity and she casually flung it aside. It was a sign of appreciation to him that she careless, no brutally threw away, as if it was not worthy of her attention.

''I'll call you when it's ready."

He placed the apple carefully on the ground beside where he sat, then leapt to his feet. He ran to catch up with Mia, grabbing one of her arms and spinning her around.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would you throw away a slightly eaten apple? Have you gone completely fucking nuts? Well, you must have if all you did was come down here to tell me you're going to throw fish on the pan. What were you coming down here to tell me, Mia?"

He stepped back, letting go of her in the process. "You know something, I have no fucking idea of what I should be doing. Given how well I seem to go with you when I start a conversation, I thought it was best to let you start talking to me about what's up about what Delmar did, or tried to do.

"At least I hope it's to do about Delmar, and not to do about... us." He waved his hands between them. "Because I am not going to take the blame for the current... label I've been given by you. I have enough of my own shit to deal with without taking on shit that meant to be yours."

He held his breath for a while, staring at Mia with bold impatience. "Well, what the fuck did you want to talk to me about, Mia?"

 

[trudee]

To be fair to ''Mathew'' Mia knew she had to be hard to be around. He was a man that had found some kind of cause in the letters. Something that had kept him going; and he'd found his way here through them, and since then had been threatened, renamed, given little or no choice in a situation that had grown out of panic.

She almost turned back to ....to what?

Find a way of saying thank you to him without touching on a subject she really didn't want to talk about, but at sometime would have to, if only out of courtesy to ''Mathew''.
Or maybe she could have just turned and delayed dinner, with some olive branch offer of just hanging out, and finding something to talk about that would give them more baby steps forward, instead of being stuck all the time, or hurtling backwards.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell would you throw away a slightly eaten apple? ...''

The rest went over her head, and Mia stood with her right shoulder hunched forward until ''Mathew'' let her arm go. He stunned her, and for a moment the shock of his words had to have been reflected on her face...in her eyes..in the very catching of her breath as Mia blinked and tried to shake her head and say ''no'' ...that he'd gotten it wrong.

But it didn't matter.

Her tossing the apple hadn't been designed to offend him. But it had. Everything else he said cut her deeply. It was like something inside him broke forward and flowed right at, and through her. The hurt faded in her face, and her jaw stiffened. Mia swallowed hard, blinking rapidly against the threat of tears. There was no fucking way she'd give him her tears, when because of no fault of her own she'd given him her husbands name to try save him..No way she'd let him see her crying when it was Mathew she'd been praying for, only to find herself aligned with a man who seemed to think she owed him something. Say it! Tell him..ask him..describe to him how I feel!

She was so angry all the time. So angry that ...that ...that life had played one god awful trick on her! She'd had everything. Now, she had a broken down shack on a hill, and a man who angered her, embarrassed her, insulted her with his wants, then defended her and had wept for her when he'd held her. And he attracted her. The guilt crippled her and Mia backed back, clenching her jaw.

"Well, what the fuck did you want to talk to me about, Mia?"

He didn't mince his words. That she chewed on her bottom lip gave a nervous softness to her defensive posture. She moved back..wanted to speak, wanted him to understand, to listen, to know her anger hadn't come about because of him, but had come about because of everything that unfairly forced them to be where were. The words were there. Bubbling in her head, tearing at her pallet to break out and be heard.

I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you. That I know it's hard for you here. That I'm fully aware that what I said about you being my husband has only swapped dangers. But I need you to know I hadn't intended that. I just didn't want them to hurt you.

You had my husbands letters. You know me now better than anyone alive, so I felt something I don't understand for you. Fury..dreadful anger, but you were crying. It made what you did almost lovely. That any man would want to find me, because of my letters stunned me. But they were my husbands letters. Do you understand? I'm 28 years old, and I loved the man I married five years ago, but I only had him for one year. I waited and waited for him to come. But it was you that came. You! And it's you that's building a home for woman the people in town now call your wife. You that's doing what a husband would do.

And I don't know why that makes me look forward to a future that was a hell of a lot more miserable a week ago. Do you understand what I'm saying? Can you understand that if it's been confusing for you, that it's been confusing for me too? I lost my Mathew. My beautiful husband, and now I have a man who has his name, and who is believed to be Mathew. If your'e confused, can you please try to understand how it must be for me? Please.

But she didn't say a thing. Mia looked at ''Mathew'' and swallowed. Her eyes burned and her throat hurt. There was a whaling scream needing releasing. There was a cry that had been held back for far too long that needed ripping into the air. She needed to empty her lungs and very soul of grief and anger, and stop holding it as if it gave her hope.
But she just swallowed and stepped back a little more. And Mia's voice was tight, her words clipped when she did finally say something.

''I'd only wanted to be with you''.

It wasn't how she'd wanted to say it. But a piece of the truth had broken out, and before anything else slipped out of her mouth, she half turned to move away. Looking down towards his hip, refusing to look ''Mathew'' in the eye again, she needed to take some of that honesty back. But it felt as if someone was gripping her by the throat, squeezing the air from her lungs and the husky voice from her cords as she cut him back.

''I'll make sure it won't happen again''.

Biting on her bottom lip, she strode away quickly , breaking into a half run up the hill. Her legs felt as if they weighed a ton, and her neck ached with the tension in her shoulders.

Suddenly she veered to the right, and left the path by ducking beneath the trees. She ran flat out away from the clearing until the need to breath more than galloped gasps stopped her. Bending over, hands on her thighs, she started crying. Great heavy gulps of sobs that tore out from her chest.

When had she cried last? Really cried without trying to stop? When had she let herself lose control and just drop to her knees, and cry until she had nothing left? The freeing scream was muffled against her knees , but it was a release that softened her shoulders, and eased the tightness across her shoulders. It had been long before she'd believed and accepted Mathew was gone for good, and even then she'd not cried. While it freed her to finally let go, it also hurt. She was crushed beneath her own weight as Mia crossed her arms on the ground, face down and let her heart expel its anger and grief.

*

It was almost dark when she made her way back to the watch tower. She was bone tired, drained and hungry. Going to the fire, she squatted down and warmed her bare arms, staring into the embers. She didn't look to see where ''Mathew'' was. He'd embarrassed her, ..misunderstood her. Where they'd go from here she didn't know. They just seemed to look at one another, ..try, ..then ignite.
He tried to make things better, she hurt him. She tried, and he hurt her. It seemed to be their undercurrent of consistency. Something needed to give soon or one of them was going to hurt the other too much to go back from.

Her eyes stung, and stomach grumbled. Did she really need to eat more than she needed to sleep right now? God it was one fucked up way to be. Too tired to eat, to hungry to care, and to lonely to know what to do.

 

[marauder13]

Brett wanted to say more. He wanted to speak harsh words, tightly bound and compressed so he didn't need to yell at Mia to get the same effect. His jaw muscles twitched with desire to make it a reality while he overrode it, and waited to hear what Mia had to say.

But all she did was stand there; a deer frozen in the spotlight waiting for the pending end to its life. It was clear to him that thoughts were going through her mind, and he would have given almost anything to know what she was thinking in that long pause between his question and her answer.

"I'd only wanted to be with you."

He could think of hundreds of responses that would have come out of her mouth before he even considered her saying that. It left him not only speechless, but without thought too. He remembered enough to breathe, but his gaze was fixed in the direction where Mia had stood when she spoke. When she moved, his eyes remained locked, staring out into the darkness of the forest while he tried to jump start his mental processes.

"I'll make sure it won't happen again."

He blinked at those words, slowly turning his head to speak to her. All he saw was her striding away before breaking out into a run. He turned around to face the lake, moving like a marionette with only half the strings working. He more staggered than walked to where he had been sitting when Mia arrived. He almost fell into his sitting position, absently grabbing the apple, and taking a bite from it.

"She just wanted to be with me?" Small pieces of apple and juice leapt from his mouth. He took a loud swallow. "She actually wanted to be with me? To spend time with me?" He shook his head. "Why the fuck didn't she say so in the first place? Damn it, this is just so fucked up, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Does she know? Does she even know what she wants or needs?" Brett took two more bites from the apple, chewing furiously.

"Why did she want to be with me? Is she attracted to me? Did she want some company? Just felt the need for some human presence? I really wish I knew how she felt about me. Christ, even removing the rampant horniness, she is still one fuckable woman. I wonder how long it's been since she's gotten laid. Probably longer than me. Hell, she could probably qualify for being a virgin all over again. Awwwww... why the fuck am I even thinking about screwing her? There's no way she'd want to do that with me." He ate the remainder of the apple, core and all before washing his face and shoulders. He stood up, looking around. He bowed his head and took a deep breath. He walked back up the path to their home, and continued to work on the changes he was making.

This time, he wore his shirt.

~||~​

Dusk had arrived, but Mia hadn't. He planned to wait for her, but he couldn't. It would be dark soon, and without light, finding her would be near impossible. He had no idea what state she was in, or even if she was hurt or not.

He grabbed his rifle, and headed back to where he thought she left the path. It took him half an hour to find where she had gone off the path, but he quickly lost the trail in the fading light. But he pushed on, tramping about loudly enough for her to hear him. He didn't want to call out for fear of alerting others with less than honourable intentions. But as the sun finally retreated behind the horizon, he broke off his search, and headed back home.

The relief of seeing her by the fire almost made him collapse. After the initial shock, he ran to the fireplace.

"Mia." It was a quiet yell of joy. Louder than a normal voice, but definitely softer than a full yell. He got beside her, grabbing her arms and pulled her to her feet. He took a quick once over look, and saw nothing major. His grin was full of happiness that she was not majorly hurt, and even appeared not to be hurt at all. The gun was slipped off his shoulder, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

"Thank God you're OK." Before he even knew it himself, he was kissing Mia. The fright, coupled with the feelings he developed for her from the letters, flowed through the kiss. Even when he was aware of what was happening, he couldn't stop himself. The feel of her lips on his was heavenly. He hadn't experience that kind of intimacy for more than a year, and he went at it like a man dying of thirst encountering water. Even her smell, so close and powerful, was enough to smother his brain's ability to get on top of what was happening.

When he broke off and pulled his head back a little, it all came flooding back to him as to who it was he had just kissed. His arms went limp and he took a step back. Emotions washed over his face in a welter of confusion. Joy, confusion, regret plus many others that flitted past in less than a blink of an eye.

"I'm sorry. I am happy that you're OK, and I just got a little caught up with... some emotions lingering from our last talk. I shouldn't have done that, and I will not do that again. I'd rather not get you upset." He looked around for something to turn the conversation away from where it seemed to be going. When his gaze caught the fire, he almost jumped in joy.

"I'll just go and get the fish and the pan and I'll get started on dinner for us." He stooped to pick up the gun, putting it away as he fetched everything he needed to get cooking. He returned to the fire, and concentrated on making them dinner, all the while acutely aware of what Mia was doing every moment he was 'concentrating'.

 

[trudee]

"Mia."

She didn't see the relief..she didn't see the grin...or that when he'd said 'Mia' it had sounded far different from a voice that earlier in the afternoon had been truthfully caustic in its depictions of how ''Mathew'' saw her.

When he pulled her upright, Mia had been defiant against whatever else he might say; her gaze dark and her shoulders stiff against his touch. She didn't see that the look in his eyes was not one of anger. Not until he thanked God, ..and kissed her. Her resentment so shocked out of her that Mia's entire body froze.

But only very very briefly.

She didn't think of Mathew. She didn't think of the nights she'd lay awake remembering how he'd kissed her.
She thought only of the lips of the man that was kissing her now. A kiss that was was like a candy coated kiss full of everything she missed; from sweet hunger, to the promise of something sultry, to the haste in spontaneity, and the promise of passion as their lips clashed, and their breaths were hollow sounds in their mouths.
It had been a long time since a man had held her. It had been a long time since a kiss left her remembering what it was to be a woman wanting a man.

Just one kiss. One fucking kiss, that sucked every ounce of anger from her, and left her drowning in the middle of a flood of every lusty emotion and instinct that a body could grapple with. The shock was stunning!

He pulled back, and Mia's lips reflectively wanted more,- parted to follow his for a kiss that never came.
He didn't hold her and ''Mathew's'' step back was like a throttling to her chest. Air burned in her lungs as Mia looked down mortified, right at the damning limp hands by his side that didn't even try to reach her.

....."I'm sorry. I am happy that you're OK, and I just got a little caught up ''

''I'm sorry.'' That was enough.

It said too much...it said everything..it reminded her that they were still strangers..and it set in her stomach like a ball of bile.''I'm sorry''.

''....I'd rather not get you upset."

''It's ok.''

Turning from him, Mia barely heard anything else he said. Something about a pan, and she remembered the fish..and that she'd come back hungry. She should have been the one to cook. He'd had a harder day that she had, but she wasn't about to argue. She wanted a mountain to herself right then, without one other living soul on it to make her think. Make her think of being on her own, being lonely, of missing a husband whose voice she could barely remember now that another man was playing the part of ''husband''.

It was hard. Hard to admit she wanted ''Mathew''. And impossibly painful to admit it when he was ''sorry''.

There was water. She had no reason to go back down the hill. There was firewood, there was no reason to disappear back into the trees for a while. He was cooking..When she looked at him squatted down by the fire, Mia felt herself burn. Burn with everything from embarrassment, to a desire that seemed to just ''be'' and refuse to be quietened. She hated that he could do that to her. She was Mathew's wife. A wife without a husband, wanting a husband that was a proxy, a decoy, a fraud..a fake! How the hell could one kiss turn everything she was trying to control on its kilter, and leave her afraid to move to the left or the right.

She had to see him..see his face. She just had to. Staring at his back, and the breath of his shoulders only .........Stop!

Moving around to stand the far side of the camp fire, as the flavors of the fish frying on the pan perfumed the air, was like facing up to some inner demon. She was still hungry. Hungry for lots of things, but her body needed food first. First! What the fuck does that mean. First! What comes second?!

Squatting down across from him, Mia added a measure of coffee granules to the coffee pot, and left it to stew on the side. His hands weren't pretty. They were chaffed from hard work, and they had scars from the ''everyday moving around and banging them against stuff crap'' that comes with a war. Mathew had had a surgeons hands. Manicured, always clean with long tapered fingers and a tiny horse shoe shaped scar to the back of his left index knuckle from an accident when he was a child.
''Mathew's'' hands were ..different. She had no right to compare him to her husband. And it was like a little kick to her reality that in this world right now, he was her husband. He was her ''Mathew'', and it was his hands holding her she remembered now.

''I loved him you know''.

She said it quietly, but it slipped out.

''I loved him and I wanted him to find me.''

Crying wasn't an option now. She was cried out, drained, tired...running on empty.

''But you found me...and I didn't like you for that.''

Pouring the two cups of coffee for them, Mia let herself settle back on her heals, knees parted for balance, and she stared into the fire. Taking a sip of the scalding liquid, she had to blow it a little bit across the top before taking another sip.

Looking at ''Mathew'' then, she felt the only way forward was to bare herself, and she dropped her left knee and shifted over to sitting with her left foot tucked beneath her ass.

''I don't like that I want to fuck you.''.

Putting the cup down on one of the stones surrounding the crackling embers, Mia reached across for a piece of bread and folded it in two, a brief inflection of a break in her voice all that gave away her torment..

'' ...I don't like that I'm forgetting how he said 'Mia' because of you.''

It just wasn't fair. Every minute of every day she was forgetting the things that had kept Mathew alive to her. His smell was gone, because all she could remember now was ''Mathew's'' smell. How his skin felt beneath her hand was gone, because she only remembered ''Mathew's'' now after the night Delmar was killed. And now, ..the kiss had stolen those last definite sensations from her that she lay at night with. Even how her name had sounded new. Different. ''Mia''.

''He deserves better than that''.

 

[marauder13]

Brett watched Mia out of the corner of his eye, trying his best to not let the food burn in the pan. She stood there, almost stunned for a while. He couldn't blame her given the way she responded to his kiss. It was one that almost has his knees turn to water. She wanted that kiss, badly. His mind raced in a myriad of directions trying to make sense of the short interlude of normal insanity instead of the non-normal insanity that was their day to day lives in their world. Brett thought himself lucky to be able to focus on cooking rather than being without anything to do. He would have gone nuts trying to get himself under control if he had nothing to distract him.

She moved slowly, deliberately to the other side of the fire. Looking at her through the flames was intriguing. The flickering of the flame lit up her face nicely. The changing levels of light across her face brought out her features well, giving them a depth that even sunlight somehow lacked. To Brett's mind, the flame gave her some colour that she need to have. She almost seemed to be drained and washed out without that colour.

She prepared some coffee for them both, but did little after that. Like him, she seemed to be lost in her thoughts and emotions.

''I loved him you know. I loved him and I wanted him to find me.''

He winced at those words. He knew that all too well. But the time lag was too long for him to ever have come back for them. The moment he opened that first letter, he wanted her husband to have been the one to read them.

''But you found me...and I didn't like you for that.''

He nodded ever so slightly, pulling the pan from the fire and letting the residual heat finish off the cooking. Brett didn't blame her one little bit for that feeling and reaction. She poured the cups, but made no move to hand him his. He waited, seeing her settle, in more ways than one.

''I don't like that I want to fuck you. ... I don't like that I'm forgetting how he said 'Mia' because of you.''

Her initial declaration hit him like a hammer blow. He put his own desire to fuck Mia down to just being a horny male stuck with an attractive woman. But to here her say she had similar feelings was incomprehensible to him. Brett felt tears fill his eyes as she continued to open up a little towards him.

''He deserves better than that.''

"You're right, Mia. He deserves to be here with you. He should have found those letters, followed that trail back to the treasure that awaited him." He looked at her bleary shaped over the fire. "He was never going to find them, Mia. I knew that the moment I opened the first one. They were a threat to your safety." He wiped the tears away from his eyes. "I was so jealous of him. That he had such a wonderful woman waiting for him. I grew to respect you because of your love to him. Through that time, and over that distance, I could feel your love for him. I wanted to meet the woman that loved so strongly. Not to take his place." He rocked back onto his backside, wrapping his arms around his knees. "I knew those letters were not for me. I knew that there wouldn't be a happy person waiting to see me when I arrived. I had no desires for the letter writer, apart from wanting to meet her. To thank her for being the woman that could pen those letters.

"How do you think I feel having heard all of that? I am thrilled to know you want to fuck me. Because lately, I am wanted nothing more than to fuck you too. But I couldn't do that to you, because that would kill your husband in your mind. I regret that it is me, and not him being here now. That is all. Everything else, I don't regret at all. If I knew then, what I know now, I still would have made the trek. Better me than some asshole like Delmar to have found the trail." He looked back at the fire.

"I don't have anyone like you. Never had. Oh, I have had girlfriends, but none of them captured my heart the way you captured his. I joined to protect my country before all this shit happened. I've watched friends, buddies, people I know all die for nothing. I've seen everything I held dear turn to shit before my eyes. My family comes from one of those little communities that is small enough to fend for them selves, but too small to hold off the bandits that now roam the lands. I fucking hope I am wrong, but I am sure that they are all dead now. This place," he waved his hand around, "is all I have now. I'll live it how I can. There will be a better place to live, big enough for the two of us. If we stay together." He felt a heat in his face that had little to do with the fire.

He picked up the pan, and walked over to sit beside Mia, just far enough away not to crowd her, but still close enough to show her he wanted her company.

"Ummm... I think that the fish is ready now."

 

[trudee]

In truth, Mia didn't want to talk. She didn't want to say more about something or someone that gave more fuel to the anger that came with a loss of her hope. But she didn't intrude, didn't stop or deny ''Mathew'' his reply. And it was a reply that said more of him than other replies before.

She'd known how he'd found the letters - how they'd led him to her. She'd never looked past the fact that his taking her letters had then denied her husband the chance to find them and come after her. In the beginning of her journey away from the nursing home, it had been a worry when she'd wrote the first letter that someone else might find it and follow them. But after that one time, Mia never allowed herself to think that way again. She couldn't. The letters had been all she'd had. Letters that told Mathew she wasn't lost to him, - wasn't dead in the broken city.
Someone could have followed. Someone like the man that ''Mathew'' had killed down by the pond for attacking her. It had been a gamble. And while it hadn't brought her Mathew, it had brought her ''Mathew''. A ''Mathew'' that was the most important living person to her in her life now,... and the most resented.

Lowering her head, Mia swirled her coffee in her cup as she listened and tried not to judge the man sitting beside her. Everyone in the world now had lost someone. No one was untouched. Even the man that spoke of his envy of her husband.

"How do you think I feel having heard all of that? I am thrilled to know you want to fuck me. Because lately,....''

Things were so honest there was no time for embarrassment. Things were stripped down and left wide open. Her gaze drifted past ''Mathew'' into the darkness as she heard all he said, accepting his honesty, ..hesitating over nothing. It wasn't a good feeling to reveal and know it needed saying. It didn't liberate or ease any tensions. It created more...but at least this time, the tension had a reason they both agreed on. It wasn't because of dislike or anger at being pressured together by their circumstance. Sure she resented him. Resented that she wanted him, and found the guilt attached latching on to her anger towards him.
But at least wanting him, and being wanted in return beat the shit out of watching him when he couldn't see her, with Mia being eaten up inside because of her guilt, ..embarrassment, and some fucked up sense of shame that he knew her too well, because of the words left behind for Mathew.

Somehow she'd never thought of him as having family. Why, she didn't know. He seemed to fit into the mold of ''loner''. That he had people he cared enough about to hope for actually saddened her for him. That he could look around them and see where they lived as being all he had ..with her affected her deeply...But none more than when ''Mathew'' said simply

''If we stay together."

She watched him rising, bringing the pan to her side of the fire, and Mia shifted a little to make room for him. They seemed to be living this stark reality that seemed to add layers to them every day. The first day on his arrival, they'd had to stay together to survive a threat to him and her lie. Other days came and went, and they'd had to stay together just to back one another up on that lie. After Delmar's violent death, their staying together suddenly had more conviction.
And now. Now it seemed that staying together meant making this place a home, a real home in every sense of the word, and not just a spot to stay because they had to ''stay together''.

The fish was good.

It for a while gave her something else to think on. She was starving, and ate and enjoyed the simple meal of the fish with its crispy pan fried buttery crust, bread - that in the city life would have been thrown out because it wasn't ''fresh'' but here tasted wonderful mobbing up the juices, and another cup of coffee. She sat forward watching the fire , her eyes stinging with tiredness, as Mia twirled the last of the coffee in her cup. What was she supposed to do now?

Was it a stalemate? How were they to move on? Sure they'd managed to wiggle and squirm through some kind of a barrier, but.....

She wanted him. The more she thought about screwing with him the more confused she got.
So if they fucked, what next? Would the anger return? Would the resentment turn to regret. Oh Jesus I can't deal with regrets! Maybe it would have been best if she'd remained angry with him, and ''Mathew'' weary of her...steering clear. Maybe this little interlude of honesty could create more trouble than she could handle.

''I'll clean up. Thank you. It was real good.''

It gave her something to do and somewhere to move a little further away from him and the fire. It gave her mind an excuse to focus on scalding the pan with boiling water and washing the two plates, two cups, and two forks. A small job treated like brain surgery. What was she going to do. What were they going to do. Admissions had a way of being one bitch to face up to.
Was she supposed to turn to him and presume that tonight they'd ''fuck''? What if he said no? What if their talk had just been a way of making things better, until having sex felt...right? But then when was right?

She burned the ball of her thumb on the side of the kettle after squatting down to move it off the embers, and stood up swearing, sucking it. She looked towards ''Mathew'' and lowered her hand quickly, knowing she should have put her digit in cold water, but instead she tucked it into her pocket.

''I'm tired. ''

The nights in the tower over head had left her exhausted despite sleeping in the late morning. She was tired, more than a little strained, and she were to be completely honest, a little intimidated by the level of just how much she wanted ''Mathew'' to just ............

'' I don't know what to say Matt just that I'm too tired to think straight''

Lowering her head, Mia shrugged a little, and wrapped her hand around her hair pulling it over her shoulder then rubbed the back of her neck..before she looked at ''Mathew''. What was she supposed to do?

''So..''

So she moved on awkwardly past him towards the lean-to, already pulling her tshirt from her jeans, muttering

''G'nite''

 

[marauder13]

Brett sat and ate the fish while Mia did. He said his piece, and waited for the fall out. They both desired to fuck the other. Brett still wouldn't make the first move on that front. If she was single, he would show her how he felt, and what he planned to do about it. But she was a war widow. Her husband was probably alive somewhere. Doctors had a tendency of being kept safe these days.

He felt for her. She longed for attention that he was more than willing to give. Not for just pure physical reasons. But she was still emotionally attached to someone else. It would be like being unfaithful to him. Brett respected her too much to just barge in, take her as they both needed. He chewed his food, lost in the thoughts of how to deal with the new revelations in a way that would be good for them both.

''I'll clean up. Thank you. It was real good.''

"Thanks." He handed her his plate and fork, then turned his attentions back to the fire. He closed his eyes, picturing what she would look like naked, laying on a bed waiting for him. Somehow, the image morphed into her still being naked, but pulling his clothes off him in her need for what he could give her. It continued into a fight for control which he won. In his mind, she liked that outcome, surrendering enthusiastically as his hormone laden body dragged his mind into a long scene of intertwined bodies glistening with sweat. He shuddered, sighing softly and opening his eyes to take him away from the images that would get him into trouble.

''I'm tired.''

"Yeah. Night shift and all of that has knocked you around a bit."

''I don't know what to say Matt just that I'm too tired to think straight.''

He nodded slowly. The question was hanging over them like Damacle's Sword. Are we going to fuck tonight?

''So... G'nite''

"Night." Brett's voice had the element of forced cheer in it. He was glad she was going to sleep. It removed the temptation that was growing within him. He was also sad, because he wanted to make things better for them. There was just too much going on for him to sort out. Too many unknowns. In his mind, it was just like combat, except combat wasn't as dangerous as dealing with a highly emotional woman.

He waited until she had gone into their home before he got up, and wandered off into the bushes. He was careful not to make any noise. He didn't want Mia to get scared, pick up a firearm and use him for target practice. He got far enough into the bushes to allow him to do what he needed to do before sleeping.

He unbuttoned his pants, pulling out the throbbing erection into the cool night air. Not even the temperature change dampened his enthusiasm. He took himself in hand, and carefully worked his length while he brought all the naughty images of Mia to mind. His mind convinced himself what it wasn't his hand he felt but some other part of Mia's anatomy that gave him the joyous pressure and pleasure he felt. He clamped his lips together, using his teeth as he rocketed to his climax. To his own ears, the sounds of his groans when he spurted over the dark grass sounded too loud. He fell to his knees, the tense muscles loosing any ability to function properly for a minute.

"Fuck." The word was almost breathed rather than spoken. He kept his mouth open, the sound of his laboured breathing was non existent. He widened his eyes momentarily and gave his head a quick shake. "Man, that was intense." He dragged himself upright, buttoning up enough to keep his pants up for the trip back home. He exercised the same level of care returning as he did leaving.

He slipped into the shelter, not looking at the bed. Not looking at her. Looking at her would be bad. He would cave in to his lusts, and things would go bad for them both. He stripped down to his sleep wear, and climbed into the sleeping bag. All the tension of their talks, plus the release just before going to bed left Brett tired enough to fall asleep quickly.

But his dreams were plagued with strong images of him and Mia fucking in all manner of places and positions, as well as all the other associated fun activities that could be done as well. He groaned in his sleep, the lust driven sounds loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to wake up someone sleeping. Brett also tossed and turned in his torment. His body desperate for something his mind, and honour wouldn't allow.

 

[trudee]

Suddenly sex became the full occupancy of Mia's mind. She was tense, - nerves coiled up like some tight string in her belly. She'd hated ''Mathew's'' intrusion into her misery. Hated that he signified why she wanted to be isolated,.. preferred being on her own so she could live in her memories. She was a different woman than before. She'd not realized it. Not until he fought with her and made her fight back. Not until he awoke with his honesty the natural needs she had.
She was young,..she wasn't dead inside. He proved that. And God she wanted to have him and find some release from the tension. Tension that now wasn't just about resenting him, but was now about wanting him - admitting to herself that yeah, Mathew was gone from her, and she could start over with ...''Mathew''.

She lay on her side, hands tucked between her thighs as she stared at the dried bark of the woven ''wall''. She had heard him moving off out of the camp. Why? Her eyes felt heavy, but her body was too tightly wound to relax just yet. Cupping herself with her right hand, Mia shifted enough to raise her thigh and slipped her hand beneath the cotton of her panties. She was wet, ..creamy wet.

Her fingers were soppy as she eased two slowly inside of herself and Mia turned her face to her pillow and shivered. If he came back now she'd die..but she needed the quiet explosion the slow pump if her fingers gave her. She eased back from her side onto her back, spreading her thighs and cast a quick look over her head at the low doorway. Then her eyes closed and she imagined things that filled her head with moving pictures; images of straining thighs, clenching buttocks, smacking flesh and rough hands restraining someone down...and then the fucking.

Her heart was racing, and she covered her wet hand with her other, pushing herself further with the rough rubbing probe of her fingers. The release was hard come by. She was too tense, too wound up...too in need to have it come to her easily. Behind the lids of her eyes she saw herself wallow in turbulent intercourse; where her body paled with arousal, and her face was contorted as she was had over and over again. Made use of. Her jaw held, her head forced back as she was filled from behind and he whispered into her ear. Filthy beautiful whispers that cracked her control and Mia came with a hoarse gasp, her wet fingers juicily slapping and rubbing over the sensitive softness of her sex.
The release was only a temporary beauty though. Almost immediately she knew the frustration of being on her own, and the loneliness that it brought and it turned very cold.

Turning back onto her side, she cried silently. Her hands back between her thighs, her head half hidden by her blanket as she closed her eyes tightly and swallowed back the need to let a cry free from her lungs. He was back outside..then in the shelter. It was enough to quieten her tears and Mia stared into the darkness again, looking at the dried bark.
The urge to just turn around and reach for ''Mathew's'' hand was so strong she was afraid she'd do it before she could stop herself. But the rustle of fabric told her he was beneath his own covers, and the moment was gone.

And it hurt more than anything had hurt her in a long while. That was startling.

It went on like that for the next couple of days. Dying at night time, ...hating the dark...laying alone...waiting..Hoping.
Day time was like a war of politeness and bitchiness. She wanted to rise the anger in him and force a reaction. Wanted to hurt him. But then wanted to help so they could be close to one another, ..speak, or just be near by him. But then one of them would say something, do something, that would trigger a momentary lash of release...and then it would be over, and the awkward truce would have to start over again.

On the third day, she stumbled over a bucket that held some of ''Mathew's'' tools, and Mia fell with her arms full of firewood, and cut her chin. Before he even chance to move towards her, she rose up and cursed him out, hurling abuse at him for being so stupid. It was one word she hated. ''Stupid''. Hated it with vengeance. But she used it like a blade on him, as she strode away from him towards the pond to wash the cut.

And there she cried again. Cried because she'd been a bitch in the worst sense. Cried because when they worked well, they were good together despite the tension. Or maybe it was because of it.
She liked being with him..close to him. Liked that they didn't have to cover over the silences with stupid words. They just fit. Then shit would happen and it would implode on itself, leaving everything around them untouched, except for her and him.

Saying sorry was worse. Saying sorry terrified her because it gave him the chance to hurt her back. Saying sorry was more frightening than calling ''Mathew'' stupid. She dried her chin with the end of her tshirt, and was resolved to going back up the slope towards the tower.

It was hot out. The sun was a little cruel, but also beautiful to enjoy. '' Mathew'' had worked hard, and she'd liked listening to the sound of the tools as she did her shifts up on the tower, and then came down to help him where he needed her. In a couple of seconds today, she'd butchered today's truce. This morning it had almost been lost over a spoiled pot of coffee.. wasted dried powder burned to the bottom of the pot because neither of them was watching. They seemed to try to be together, yet move apart...around, ..away from each other. So the coffee boiled dry...and tempers almost flared. But that delicious tension politely spared them. Tight smiles were swapped, and the coffee pot was left to soak, and they did without. But later..she'd called him stupid over a bucket of fucking tools.

''Matt''?

Why was it so hard to say sorry, but so easy to say something hard..cold..cruel?. Why was it so hard to admit that it all happened because they were both waiting until some unspoken signal was given and they could just ............

Her face burned, and Mia's shoulders tensed. She looked down, tucked her hands into the back pockets of her worn combat pants, and tried again. Looking up at him, she was almost defiant. Almost but for the fact the defiance was a disguise for her guilt to hide behind... but still couldn't say sorry.

''Is there anything you want me to do''?

 

[marauder13]

That night changed everything for Brett. She confessed a need for him, much like his need for her. He hated himself when everytime he looked at her, he was waiting for her to tell him she wanted him to take her. He saw the look in her eyes so often, but the words never crossed her lips. He wanted to ask her, but he couldn't. She was still holding on to her husbands memory too tight, and he felt that he would be causing her to cheat.

So, he focused on building their home. But doing manual labour left the brain free more than he remembered. All he did while he worked was imagine various encounters with his 'wife'. Unknown to him, his memories of Mia's letters shaped the imagery. Rough, passionate, lusty encounters full of loud sounds of bodies colliding in joyous union. Of Mia having little say in how their fucking took place; Brett dictating the terms of what position and where and Mia thoroughly enjoying whatever they did.

All of which made their real encounters more strained. Brett was almost in a constant state of horniness, which spiked whenever Mia got close. He was a little happy to know he was not the only one nearly exploding with frustration. But it didn't stop him from giving back what he got from her.

Mia had started to make the coffee that morning, and Brett was checking he had everything he needed for the planned work for the day. He wasn't told to keep an eye on the coffee, because he thought Mia was looking after it. She gave him a look full of fury. The pending storm was forecast and Brett was ready for it. But she stopped herself just before the tirade commenced. That left him more angry. He wanted to tell her what he had been thinking, to clear the air again. But she denied him the opening, and he was not going to be the aggressor in any arguments.

But then she walked too close to the work site, and tripped over some of his tools. He saw blood and started to rush to her side, his concern for her safety overriding any other thoughts. He got no more than two steps when he was barraged by a torrent of verbal abuse. Brett stood stunned as anger towards her crashed into his concern. Before he got the mess sorted out, she was gone and he was left with the massive collections of small cuts her voice had left. He ground his teeth, muttering a few choice word under his breath as he righted the bucket of tools. He took his frustration out on the section of ground he was digging out for a better foundation.

"Matt?"

He shoved the shovel head into the ground and looked over to Mia. The look was almost smug in it's defiance. It was challenging him in some deep primal way. Something deep within him finally gave. He had been the gentleman, and was waiting for the green light from Mia. Now, he would be just a man, and do what he knew deep down had to be done.

"Is there anything you want me to do?"

He got out of the ditch, brushing the dust on his hands. With slow and deliberate care, he pulled off his sweat soaked shirt. Never hairy to begin with, the constant wearing of a close fitting shirt over the last few years helped to all but remove what little he had. The meagre diet and lots of physical activity left him with a good physique that left little to the imagination concerning his build. He slung the wet shirt across the back of his neck as he walked over to where Mia stood.

"Yes, Mia, there is something you can do. You can go inside and make sure that bed of yours is clear. Because I am going to walk in there soon, pull those pants and underwear down around your ankles. I'm going to lay your half naked body across the bed, with you kneeling on the floor and I am going to fuck you to oblivion. I know you have been all but asking me for it, and I have bveen patiently waiting for you to decide it was safe for us to fuck." He leant forward, putting his mouth close to her ear. "But I think you want me to make the first move because it turns you on even more. Or maybe, you want to just stand there, and have me carry you in instead? If I do that, there will be a price you'll be paying with the pretty little mouth of yours, Mia." He straightened himself up, looking her straight in the eye. "You going by your feet, or by mine. It doesn't bother me too much, because the result will be the same. I'll be sliding... my cock... in and out... of your pussy."

His voice dropped to a whisper. "And you'll love it."

 

[trudee]

Her breath felt so hot her lips dried as ''Mathew'' rose up from his place of work, and took of his shirt. His stance challenged her offer to help him, and Mia accepted that if he was about to angrily rebuke her offer, she'd have to simply take it. It was after all owed her.
But as he straightened, pealing the sweat dampened shirt up along his lean defined torso, what ever she'd expected, - been preparing herself for, she'd not thought he'd appear so... daring.

"Yes, Mia, there is something you can do''......

Her feet were stuck to the ground, and her shoulders raised to protect herself. Protect herself from the quiet and control murdering words that were placed right in front of her to hear, and see form on his lips.

..'' pull those pants and underwear down around..''....

Her lungs burned. This was the most perfect threat ever to her. This was the most frightened she'd been in a long long time. It excited her. Made her arousal dig into her control and cut it to pieces. Somehow having her control taken completely riveted her. She wasn't just losing it..she was giving it over as she watched the threat of his promise curl from his lips.
Air scorched dry in the back of her throat as his mouth moved his words closer to her ear, and Mia closed her eyes against them. The lurch in her chest of her heart thumping hurt. And when she finally caught her breath, her shoulders relaxed, and her eyes quickly opened to stare over ''Mathew''s bare shoulder.

''...because it turns you on even more. Or maybe, you want to just stand there, and have me carry you in instead?''

Again, her breath stuck. It felt like her lungs were closing in, and Mia could feel how inside her own skin she shook. He was right of course. About everything. She wanted everything. The choice...the lack of choice...the roughness..the promise of it..the force behind it..the provocative hurt that would come with her consent.

It would just take a nod. A look. A silent yes. And that gut tightening ache that was tearing her, and she believed ''Mathew'' apart would be enhanced and eased.

....''because the result will be the same. I'll be sliding... my cock...''..

Oh God!

She wasn't crying. It wasn't tears that blurred her vision...She'd just forgotten to blink and her eyes watered, as her mind went into over drive and she saw it happening!
How they'd be together. She could almost smell what they'd be like on sex stained sheets..She could almost imagine the feel of their wetness dribble down her thighs after he'd bedded her and forced her to stop fighting the woman lost inside her. Almost!

Quickly Mia lifted her right hand to her eyes and she wiped beneath one, ..then the other..her breath bouncing back from his shoulder to her face. God he smelled so fucking raw!

It only served to add meat to the threat in his words, and she took a long inhaled breath, letting his smell fill her nostrils and her body burn at the feeling of how his musk filled her pours. She wanted him. Wanted to know the expelling release that was trapped behind her horniness of her arousal.

"And you'll love it."

Turned on didn't cover it. She was positively dripping.

How her knees didn't let her down she didn't know...but she took one small step back from Matt, as he looked at her, burning his words into her. Her nails bit into her palms, as her hands curled into tight fists. There wasn't one part of her thinking now. Not one part past the thought of him making use of her to alleviate the pressure in the pit of her belly. She could feel the heat between her thighs, and how her skin felt too tight for her frame. Every part of her too tense. Too hungry.

Suddenly she was breathing. Suddenly she was very calm and Mia took one more step back from him. Back closer towards the lean-to. And she slowly shook her head....twice..maybe three times as she rolled the ends of her own tshirt in her hands, up over her belly until she slipped it over her head..and her dark hair fell forward over her face. The tshirt was tossed aside and Mia flicked her hair back with one hand, letting her fingers trail down from her forehead over her lips, as she heard her own voice softly challenge Matt when she cast her own provoking gauntlet down between them...

''I don't believe you''.

 

[marauder13]

Of all the things she could have said, or the words she could have used, those she spoke were the worst of all.

''I don't believe you.''

He had watched her reactions to his words, loving every tell tale response to his plans. He meant every word he spoke, and had every intent of delivering on his declarations. He had never lied to the degree he had being with her prior to meeting her. Now, he was to the rest of the world, someone else. But when he dealt with her, he was honest, open and held nothing back. Her words were almost a slap in the face.

Which made him even more determined to do exactly as he said he would.

He had seen her partially naked before, but his focus then was different. He saw Mia was a woman in trouble. One needing help. His actions held zero sexual interest, or designs. But as she retreated, shedding her shirt, he saw her in a totally different light. She was thinner that he would normally like a woman, but he knew once they started eating better, she would fill out well. But even as she was, she was striking in her appearance. He wanted to see her naked, exposed, displayed. He wanted to look on her in her glory before taking her for all she was worth.

Brett couldn't believe that she was still resisting. Was it from habit? Did she really not want to fuck him? Was she playing a game to get her off even more? He was beyond caring. He was answering to the primal call deep within him. The voice that harkened back to his ancestors when thoughts of equality, human rights and other loftier concerns had not even entered into anyone's thoughts. All he saw was a woman that he was going to fuck.

Without a word, he covered the short distance between them. He bent down, easily scooping up Mia and bending her over his shoulder. Without breaking his stride, he carried her to their home, while he undid the buttons of his fly, leaving just the top one alone.

Once inside, he rather roughly dumped Mia on the bed, keeping her in a sitting position. One hand remained behind her head, preventing her from leaning back as he quickly freed his cock from his underwear. When that was complete, his other hand went behind her head. Trapping her between his arms, he pulled Mia closer to the tip of his glistening shaft.

"As I said, if I had to carry you, you would pay with that pretty little mouth of yours. So you suck it, Mia. Do a good enough job, and I might just cum in there too. You like the thought of that, Mia? You like the thought of my cum filling your lovely little mouth? Feeling the rich heavy fluid sliding down your throat? How about we both find out together, Mia."

He brought her head close enough that his wet cock head was touching her warm, dry lips.

 

[trudee]

It took all of a couple of seconds for the look on Matt's face to register with Mia and then for him to have her flung onto the bed, he having crossed the small space with her over his shoulder. The look had almost saddened her...because she thought she saw a flicker of hurt, before it was gone and the rousing darkness of arousal masked it. The fright she felt wasn't fear of him, but fear of what he made her feel, want, invite. Tempt, taunt him with, goad, ..need.

The bed creaked, and she lost him beneath a splay of her hair as he held the back of her head to restrain her close to him. Grabbing his wrist behind her head tightly, Mia pushed her hair aside with her other hand, her motions hasty,.. and inhaled in the sweetest shock as she watched Matt's fingers undo the top button of his trousers, and then.......

"As I said, if I had to carry you, you would pay with that pretty little mouth of yours. So you suck it, Mia...''

The scent of his arousal flared in her nostrils and the inside of her mouth grew wet as taste buds craved, and that female part of a woman that resonates to a mans scent went fucking nuts.

Mia swallowed, felt the grip at the back of her head tighten and she looked up at him, and watched his mouth.

''So you suck it, Mia.''

Jesus it sounded better coming from his mouth than her own need to do it! Watching the raw words on his lips was the dirtiest pleasure she'd felt in too long. She liked the pinch in her scalp of his fingers, even if she flinched against it. Out of nothing only goading pride she pushed her head back against his grip, ..but with no intention of daring to try to break free. It excited her to piss him off..to push him further into pushing her.

Looking at how his arousal filled the small space between her mouth and it, Mia realized then that the fingers of one of her hands was digging into the back of Matt's buttocks.

''....How about we both find out together, Mia."

It wasn't a request, a plea or a suggestion. He wasn't playing nice. It was very much a provocative demand.

She wanted to look up at Matt..wanted to see more of him, but when she tried the grip prevented her moving as he pulled her head closer to him. She felt the heat from his cock emanate a fraction from her bottom lip and Mia licked her lips, parted them, then paused and for a heartbeat shut her eyes. Resisting the pressure of his hands out of a quick flash of guilt, she felt the pang for a second, but it was beaten back by her arousal.

A flicker of her tongue sought the bulbous tip out, and she stopped thinking and just acted on her own

Her lips captured the tip and groaned, and tugged the soft flesh of his foreskin, pulling it forward, before Mia opened her mouth and slid her tongue beneath the head.
Her tongue wet it, moving over it in a moist sweep of saliva. She tilted her head to one side, then dragged her tongue down the side to wet him...before trailing her teeth back up along the vein ridged hardness until her lusty groan was muffled on a mouthful of cock, as Mia sucked it into her mouth.

Her fingers dug into the paler skin of the cheek of Matt's arse, and Mia's other had released its grip on his hand at the back of her head, to slip between his thighs to cup the warm wrinkled flesh of his sacs. Fondling them, she played with his stones, rolling them in her fingers.

Her tongue lavished the ridged length over and over, her right hand stroking him, ....her left hand remaining beneath cupping and lightly scratching his balls with the tips of her nails. The sensitive short perineum was coveted with her finger tips; and further back to lightly flick over the dark pucker of his anus.

He filled her mouth..her palate, her throat, over and over. The flushed skin of her cheeks dimpled as Mia sucked, her head moving from side to side, her hands alternating to stroke, fondle and touch. His balls were sucked, and her gasps for air broken only with the growls of her pleasure rumbling in a hum at the back of her throat.
Her tongue worked constantly, licking, ..or inviting..tasting, probing the tiny hole that dribbled pleasure onto it. Her sucks swept over his length until her jaws ache...and then Mia just sucked over the tip..her lips clasped around the ridge as her hand stroked and she listened to him, learning from his body's response what was needed.
Even to his chest they reach up to as she pressed her face to his crotch, the tight curls prickling against her mouth and nose; her throat tightly clasping him , ..her breath caught in a gag of wet sucks.

God this was where thinking wasn't needed, beyond wanting the agony of the pleasure.
This was where words just disappeared into grunts and groans. This was where having control taken freed her, and giving up was a win.

Her jaws ached, and she held Matt by his hips as much for her own support as holding him. Her mouth open for him to use her, her pants garbled on her gagged breaths. Pushing back against the strong grip of his hands,- she needed for a moment just to see him. Just to see a look that equaled her own darkening needs.
Her tongue out, head back enough to glance up his body, Mia flicked her tongue wetly over the swollen knob, before her hand moved back to stroke him in long deft twisting strokes at the base and Mia mouthed up at him before offering her open mouth again to him..

''Please. ''

''Matt ..please''.

 

[marauder13]

Brett wondered for a mere moment if what he was doing was right. He was all but raping this woman who he more or less stalked via her letters to her husband. But he looked down to watch her resistance crumble when her tongue touch his tip. The breath he had unknowingly held was released in a long drawn out sound of pleasure as Mia started to give him something he never imagined was every going to happen to him.

Brett fought a terrible battle to stop his knees from buckling completely, breathing enough not to pass out and to watch the glorious activity Mia was doing with his cock. It seemed almost too much for his brain to handle given the overload of sensations he was barraged with. The sounds of her enjoyment seemed to meld with his, taking a backseat to the soft, whispered sounds of her mouth and tongue's passage over his heating flesh.

He almost lost control of himself when her hand came to rest under his balls, caressing them while her other hand was digging into one of his ass cheeks. He was beyond doubt that Mia wanted this as much as he did, and any thoughts of the wrongness of his actions vanished under the onslaught of her lusty desires.

Nothing else existed in his world in those moments, but her. He felt attracted to her. Mia was sexy as hell even before she wrapped her lips around him and took him to heaven. From her letters, she was someone he could fall for. Her personality was what attracted him, and what he saw only made it more so. What she did...

Coherent thought was blown away like dust as her mouth and hands worked in unison to make him feel so different to any other woman who he shared himself with. She used her mouth in ways no one else had, and he was surprised at just how good it felt. He loved how much she showed her enjoyment through the noises she made. It called to him at a deep level, making him respond in similar ways. Their vocalizations echoing, mixing and melding into the most primal of musics.

Brett's eyes widened as he felt himself slip further into Mia's mouth, the tip descending into her throat. The feel of her nose pressed against his skin added to the new sensations. Once she started sucking him, his hands simply rested on the back of her head, not stopping her from doing anything that she didn't want to do. He had forgotten they were there when she started to pull back from him and met resistance.

Mia pulled herself free of his cock, looking up at him with an expression he both recognized and failed to comprehend. The flick of her tongue sent shivers along his spine. He felt the pressure of her hand moving along his length, holding him on a plateau of pleasure. He saw something in her look that he was certain mirrored his own look to her. Very softly, three words reached his ears, before Mia showed him what the words meant.

''Please. Matt ..please.''

There was no need for further thought. The actions would take care of themselves. His hands shifted from preventing her movement to allow him to guide her, even control her movement. He pushed his cock back into her mouth. His hips moved, as did his hands, thrusting far enough into her mouth until he reached the back. He did this several times before he slowly went further until her nose touch his groin again. He held her there for a few seconds, enjoying the feel on his cock, sighing and moaning his pleasure before releasing her and continuing his earlier thrusts. Again, there was a pause, followed by the slow, deep thrust held for a short time. This cycle was repeated only twice more before Brett was ready.

"Mia, suck me til I cum." He held her head so she could move a little along his length as he raced to his peak. "Oh FUCK YES!" His grip tightened as the first pulse rippled towards his tip. He felt like he was being torn by the lead wave of his cum before it erupted into her waiting mouth. In that very instant, the pain was gone and ecstasy remained. He looked down to see his cock move with each pump of his body.

He stood there, in silence, after he finished filling Mia's mouth. He was a little shocked at what he did, and how good it felt. It was then he remembered what he was going to do to her once he got her in there. He withdrew from her mouth, still rock hard.

"Now you have paid for your insolence, Mia, now we shall get down to the reason for you being here." With a less than gentle shove, he pushed Mia onto her back. He quickly lifted one leg, removing her boot, following soon after with the other leg. He then quickly hauled her to her feet. With little pause or consideration, he undid her jeans, sending them and her underwear down around her ankles.

"Remember what I said I was going to do to you?" He spun her around, guiding her to her knees before her cot. He dropped down behind her, bending her over. He stared in awe of her arse and legs. Again, both were a little less than he liked, but the potential was there. What was even more spectacular was her obviously ready sex. One hand firmly gripped her hip while the other positioned himself at the gates of her heaven.

"I keep my word, Mia." With one firm thrust, he sank into her for the first of what he hoped were many times.

 

[trudee]

She didn't think. She just did. Did what she wanted, did what he wanted,...acting on want and not thinking about the whys or the afters. There had been so much time lost on missing feeling alive, that Mia gravitated towards the extreme first true feeling she'd known in too long.
To the tips of her fingers biting into Matt's thighs, she felt vital. She felt aroused, turned on by sheer force! Force of her own arousal..the force of wanting this more right now than wanting to think about what would happen after.
Arousal, guilt, anger, uncertainty, denial, blame, even acceptance ...it could all be thought about later. But right now, all she wanted was this. This feeling of being a willing participant to the demise of her own loss of control.

The force of Matt's fingers biting into her scalp confined her. Restricted her. Gave her space for breath,- nasally breaths and gasps around her full mouth. She felt how the ache in her jaws was relieved between gagged wet strokes into her mouth and how the back of her throat was full of him when he held himself there.

The taste of him when he came and filled her mouth was stunning. The thick cream dripped from her tongue and gaping lips, as Mia, faced flushed, blinked though watery eyes up at Matt and heard the grunted groaned expletive of his passion; and she licked him , licked her lips and swallowed.

And then he just had her.

Stripped enough of her jeans and panties, the implication of his warning profound as she was swung around to where Matt wanted her, with Mia trying to find her balance on her hands before he buried his cock inside her.
She dropped instantly to one elbow beneath the delight of his forceful entry. She groaned, eyes closed tightly, and lowered her head between her shoulders as she felt the sting of her walls adjusting to his slick fullness. He was still aroused enough to hold his erection, and Mia knew that this punishing fuck wouldn't be a quick delivery.

She could still taste him in her mouth..the flavor of his cum heavy on her tongue as she gasped and turned her face down into the bedding. The vibrations shook up her spine, and the smack of flesh on flesh resounded in the small area. The little bed creaked; its small confines ensuring no space for stretching out and away from thrusts that were encouraged by her pressing back into them because she simply had no where else to go. Backing..and backing against each stroke, her thighs spread licentiously, Mia's husky breaths shameless.

One hand reached forward, gripping blindly the edge of the bed between her head and the rickety wall of the lean-to, and Mia groaned in pants..

''No...No...No''..

But there was no substance to her pleadings. Not when she was pushing back against each thrust, needing them deep and hard. Needing to feel the ''smack of Matt's thighs; and not when Mia needed the smell of their arousals perfuming her nostrils with their raw scent.

Every pour exuded a scream for her senses to be assaulted! Every sense was alive with the sparks of fueled hormonal hunger. Every grunt and groan surrendered her to more and more. Every struggled for grip of her hands on the bed gave her up. Relented to the desperate need to part of something greater than the fears and the uncertainties that have followed her until Matt came, and they were coupled by a lie. A lie that brought with it a resented attraction towards him, that now at last can be feasted on.

And Mia felt the burn of heat climb. There was nothing sweet in its arrival. Nothing delicate, nothing tender.
It charged from her crotch, up her belly to fill the very taste buds in her mouth with the flavor of lust.
Her other hand swung blindly, fingers stiffening as they gripped bare air and she climaxed, and one exalting surge of relief melded into another as wave after wave buckled Mia. And her hand dropped to claw on the blanket beneath her, clutching it tightly as her body continued to subject her to its depraved beauty and her cunt convulsed its milking tribute in hot splashes of pleasured releases .

 

[marauder13]

What he did to Mia was not loving, it could barely be called fucking. It was the simple answering of the primal urge that was older than higher thoughts. His body knew exactly what to do, and his brain was powerless to stop it.

The small shelter served to amplify everything. The sounds of their bodies meeting with the forceful collisions echoed loudly off the walls, making it sound louder than it was and occasionally making Brett think that there others near by doing the same as them. The confined space made the air quickly thicken with the overpower aroma of sex. This served to shut his brain down further as the scents went straight to other parts of his body, driving him deeper into the primal zone. Before him he saw a woman that needed what he was giving as much as he needed to give it. There was little lust involved at that moment, no admiration of her beauty, personality or anything else. Mia was a woman who needed a man.

And he was that man.

Through the haze, he was aware of her reactions. The way she was joining in, matching his pace, driving herself to her own little death while he was going to be shown heaven. It was clear to him that she was enjoying it and participating with the carnal abandon that a partner always desires to see.

He knew little about the signs of her pending orgasm, so when she reached it, it caught him off guard. The constricting of her body around him triggered his second release. It was more powerful than the first, leaving him almost dazed by the power of it. He dropped forward, arms reaching out instinctively to hold himself up. In those moments where nothing existed, he was dimly aware of the pulsing of his cock as he once more left his seed within Mia's welcoming body.

He returned to earth slowly, drifting down like a feather in a light breeze. He felt Mia's body trapped beneath his. He wanted to stay there, buried within her for hours with her pinned beneath him and unable to move. He wanted to shift slowly, letting her feel his length and girth. He wants to suddenly burst into a frenzied fuck, making her scream her delight and her orgasms. But he knew it wasn't practical.

He leant down carefully, pressing more of his body against hers, but not squeezing her too much. "Please remember, Mia," he breathed into her ear, "I don't make threats. I make promises." He gave her a soft kiss on her cheek before her ear before he straightened up. He gazed down at where their bodies had joined, watching his glistening length emerge into the colder air. He absently did up his clothing, and wandered off to the pool.

"What the fuck happened there? That's not me." He shook his head as if it would make the images go away. "I enjoy a good fuck, but doing that to someone else... that's not right. Even if she enjoyed every moment of it. Oh Christ! What is she going to think of that? Is she going to think that I raped her? Is it going to piss her off even more? What if she wants to do it again, or something similar?"

He sat himself at the edge of the water, picking up a fallen branch and poking the water. "That... that was something else. I know it's been a while, but that couldn't explain what just happened." Brett shivered as the memories of their recent coupling trampled through his mind. "Just because we've done it once doesn't mean it'll happen again. Unless she really pisses me off enough to forget that she is not my wife, and..."

He flung the branch into the water. "Screw this, I need a wash. If nothing else, to help cool me down and get rid of this fucking boner I've got."

 

[trudee]

It was over too soon. The tumble down between sanity and insanity, provocation and surrender, caught Mia, hurtled her into the darkness where sounds were only the rasping gasps of air behind her, and her own wool fiber muffled groans and reflective grunts into her pulled blanket. She felt the heat of his release, and the warm dribble of fluid down her thigh, as his thighs spasmodically jutted and ground in tight to her at that explicit time of his release. The weight of him over her, his hands bracing him either side of her shoulders and Matt's uneven gasps of breath gave no other illusion only that this coupling and its brutish power had sapped Matt also. That it had mattered.

There were seconds then when Mia lay, and felt relieved that it had happened. She'd wanted him. No - needed him. Needed to know she could still feel. Feel something more than angry all the time. He made her so angry ...made her glad he'd arrived. Made her hate him for not being Mathew. Made her feel guilty because she'd wanted this so badly for days. And he was only here days. God what did that say about her? That she was so fucked up that she'd have fucked any man that was direct enough to say he'd wanted to do her? But maybe it would actually kill the tension that bubbled, and allow them be closer in some beginning way.

He broke the illusion that it had mattered to her then.

Matt's whisper taunted her. She didn't know if that was what he'd intended...but it left her feeling as if he'd just fucked her to prove his point, and nothing more. Her very spine turned icy cold. And the kiss to her cheek rubbed salt in a wound that he cut into her boastfully. ''..promises''.

Withdrawing from her, she flinched at the sting of air on her tender flesh as his shaft slipped from her, and Mia slumped to the side. Her thighs were damp with the sordid implication in the smell of sex. Her body hated the lonely sensation that his moving left her with.

She hadn't thought of Mathew. It had only ever been ''Mathew'' the last days. Days that had become a lifetime of adjusting to him..straining beneath the resented education.., learning, moving from stranger to more in just days. And now this...and he'd made it so empty in just seconds. It repulsed her that she'd lost herself in the basic drive of arousal instead of ..... Of what? What the hell was there instead of this?

Quickly Mia dragged a rumpled blanket over her hip and she looked up at Matt and saw the almost casual uncaring manner in how he did up his pants, and then just left, like some casual encounter with a stranger that needed now to be rinsed off.

She lay staring at the low doorway, and felt used. And she'd let it happen. Invited it. Taunted him into it. Anger at herself poisoned her. She wanted to get up and follow him. Give back his insult, and hurt him. God she cared about this man. That starkness twisted in her gut like a flaming razor scorching its cut forever inside her. She cared about this man, because only someone she cared about could insult her so deeply it hurt.

The distant water splash from the pond spoke to her as to where he was. While he was gone, Mia quickly washed away the odor of her guilt in a bucket of water by the fire, and dressed again. She remade her bed, and propped the door open to allow fresh air inside. And she went back and sat down at the foot of the cot, and loaded her gun, before she lay back with it tucked beneath her pillow, and stared up at the sloped ceiling. She was hungry, but she couldn't face Matt. Couldn't face having to be ...normal. Or to have what happened spoke of. She didn't want it mentioned again. Never.

Their lives were entwined hopelessly with her lie. But what had been wanted...desperately wanted , to somehow pull them away from the constant undercurrent of antagonism, had only for her made it worse.

The ceiling faded as she blinked slower and slower, and eventually slept. And even in her dream Mia had to listen again and again to the whispered warning that Matt made promises...always promises....Only she didn't know what the promises were going to be and in her dream; and words chased her and she kept falling on sheets of paper with words written not to Mathew...but ''Mathew''.

 

[marauder13]

Matt lazed in the water, floating around on his back, using occasion flicks of his hands to prevent him from sinking. Completely naked, ears submersed and eyes half closed, he was relaxed. The mind blowing, bone melting sex he had with Mia certainly was a component, but it was being somewhere that made him be able to relax. The world was still a dangerous place, as Delmar attested, but in that moment, he knew he was safe.

He floated, and thought about nothing. His entire body relaxed and recovered a little from the War. He lost track of time, not caring how long he remained in the water. He needed it. It meant that he could escape. Something he desperately needed.

Once out of the water, Brett found a spot to sit that was cool but still in the sun. For the first time in years, he looked at his surroundings and enjoyed them for what they were. There was no thought of how he would travel through them, or what dangers may lurk there. He smiled as he drank in the natural beauty of the valley and the adjacent ridge lines.

"So fucking easy to forget the simple things when you're caught up trying to stay alive that one day longer."

He dressed and sauntered back to his home. That thought brought him to a complete standstill. "Home..." The word seemed to slip from his mouth with the surprise he felt. "I... have a home." In that moment, he found out how far he had relaxed, as more tension fled his body. He truly felt boneless. The steps that he so wanted to take, the run he wanted to do were impossible because his body refused to work the way he needed it to. But he still managed to return to his home.

He saw the door was open, and peeked in to see Mia asleep. He just stood there, looking at her face. Even in sleep, it was troubled, rather than at peace as it should be. Even still, it was a face that he would never tire looking at. The features were intriguing. She was pretty, with the scope to look even better when she remembered to smile, and gained a little more condition. He slowly stepped away, not wanting to disturb her rest.

He looked at the fire, and went to bring it back to some semblance of life. As he did so, he stomach reminded him about a need for food. Brett set about fixing them both some food. He was sure that Mia would need something to eat too after their time together on and beside her bed. He gathered some stuff together to make a stew, and got it cooking. The aromas got his mouth watering and his stomach growling even louder. But he remained by the fire until the food was ready.

He got the plates and forks, serving up two full bowls of food for them both. He lifted them, and carried them into where Mia slept. Brett moved carefully, making a little noise but not trying to alert Mia to his attention. He got down onto one knee, placed the bowls on the ground near the head of her bed and reached out with a gentle hand to touch Mia's shoulder.

"Mia... Thank you. Ummm... I'm normally not that forward with someone I only recently met... in person. But the way you were and I was and what we both needed... Anyway, again, thank you very much. It was great, and I am not lying either." He looked down bowls. "I brought you some food. I thought you might be as hungry as I am."

He lifted a bowl and fork for her to take. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, Mia. I really enjoyed our fuck. I am really looking forward to doing it again. So, when you're ready, you let me know and we can be a little more... or maybe a little less passionate, unless you really like that.

"Maybe I will just shut up now before I fuck things up more."