My latest story

[SimonDoom]

I'd like to get some feedback on my latest story, Summer At The Lake With My Sister. Link: https://www.literotica.com/s/summer-at-the-lake-with-my-sister.

I've written incest stories for a little over four years. Incest stories can become somewhat cookie-cutter in nature, and with this story I tried to move beyond that. I worked harder this time at 1) trying to make the main characters (brother and sister) real, 2) making the union between them plausible (while also being erotic), and 3) elevating the prose style.

I welcome any comments.

 

[lovecraft68]

Gave it a read.

First. let me say in general I liked it. Bro/sis is my personal fav and I thought it was hot

But seeing you mentioned trying harder for plausibility, I think it missed the mark. When Sara mentioned her near rape, I thought, okay, this is going to be the motivation, good old sis is done with asshats, but big bro would never hurt me, he's he only guy I can trust.

But...that never happened so her confession about what happened just kind of fell to the wayside. Missed opportunity, at least in my eyes.

Then as far as why this happened. There was no reason. He was already staring at her ass on the hike, and getting hard over her, and other than a quick "knew I shouldn't" there was no real conflict there.

Sara was the instigator so you didn't need hesitation on her part, but should have been some on Christopher's, and there was none. They went at it the way a regular horny couple would have, she takes her top off and game on.

I'm not picking at you or being negative. Had you not said you were pushing harder for believability I wouldn't have anything to say other than fun story. Interesting that I find myself wanting to jump into your writing and push that device of the guy trying to force her as a catalyst.

So for a fun taboo romp it delivers. I liked the body shots, tequila off your sister...great dirty little scene there.

I like the sex, it was playful and fun and dirty, but sweet with some genuine affection.

Overall, good story and I voted a 5, but in my mind it lacked that slow burn guilt ridden, we shouldn't, but...we should that to me gives any taboo coupling some realism, this fell more into "sis is hot, why not."

 

[SimonDoom]

Gave it a read.

First. let me say in general I liked it. Bro/sis is my personal fav and I thought it was hot

But seeing you mentioned trying harder for plausibility, I think it missed the mark. When Sara mentioned her near rape, I thought, okay, this is going to be the motivation, good old sis is done with asshats, but big bro would never hurt me, he's he only guy I can trust.

But...that never happened so her confession about what happened just kind of fell to the wayside. Missed opportunity, at least in my eyes.

Then as far as why this happened. There was no reason. He was already staring at her ass on the hike, and getting hard over her, and other than a quick "knew I shouldn't" there was no real conflict there.

Sara was the instigator so you didn't need hesitation on her part, but should have been some on Christopher's, and there was none. They went at it the way a regular horny couple would have, she takes her top off and game on.

I'm not picking at you or being negative. Had you not said you were pushing harder for believability I wouldn't have anything to say other than fun story. Interesting that I find myself wanting to jump into your writing and push that device of the guy trying to force her as a catalyst.

So for a fun taboo romp it delivers. I liked the body shots, tequila off your sister...great dirty little scene there.

I like the sex, it was playful and fun and dirty, but sweet with some genuine affection.

Overall, good story and I voted a 5, but in my mind it lacked that slow burn guilt ridden, we shouldn't, but...we should that to me gives any taboo coupling some realism, this fell more into "sis is hot, why not."

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.

I'm torn on the plausibility/build up issue. You prefer longer stories with lots of dark, twisted stuff. I prefer to keep it lighter and shorter. But there's always that balance to strike between maintaining the tone you want and making it seem, maybe not real, but a good imitation of real. I'm still striving to strike that balance just the way I want to.

This is good feedback. It's well thought out and helpful. It's constructive without being sugar-coated. Thanks.

 

[NotWise]

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.

I'm torn on the plausibility/build up issue. You prefer longer stories with lots of dark, twisted stuff. I prefer to keep it lighter and shorter. But there's always that balance to strike between maintaining the tone you want and making it seem, maybe not real, but a good imitation of real. I'm still striving to strike that balance just the way I want to.

This is good feedback. It's well thought out and helpful. It's constructive without being sugar-coated. Thanks.

I think I agree with all of LC's comments--especially about her near-rape story. I'll add some.

You stated three goals for your story:

1) trying to make the main characters (brother and sister) real, 2) making the union between them plausible (while also being erotic), and 3) elevating the prose style.

In the first case, I don't think you committed enough time to making the brother and sister real. You started building the eroticism about as soon as they started the hike, and the reality went away.

In the second case, their union was hot. That's what it was about, but I didn't find it plausible. LC is more into building taboo tension than I am, but even to me it seems like there should have been some kind of hesitation, and there was hardly a thing.

For the third case, here goes:

The plot is, "My sister and I hiked to a mountain lake. We had sex and liked it a lot. We left for college." That's 3+ Lit pages. To me, the story seemed too long. From the title, I expected there to be more to the story.

A lot of the content was descriptive. You did a good job of using descriptive action. You drew a rather precise picture of the mountain setting, but it was certainly more than I needed to understand the story. In a few cases you went over the top; "obsidian sky" for instance. The night sky in the wilderness does not resemble obsidian.

I like dialog, and you used a lot of dialog. I should like it, right? But the dialog seemed unnaturally rigid. Why would a brother and sister repeatedly use each others names when there was no need to use names at all? And, like a lot of the description, a lot of the dialog seemed to add little more than bulk to the story.

You did a great job with the eroticism. It seems to be your forte. I'm not sure what parts of the prose style you were working on. For my interests as a reader, a different balance of action and description would have worked better. That's subjective. Different readers are likely to give you different results.

 

[SimonDoom]

I think I agree with all of LC's comments--especially about her near-rape story. I'll add some.

You stated three goals for your story:



In the first case, I don't think you committed enough time to making the brother and sister real. You started building the eroticism about as soon as they started the hike, and the reality went away.

In the second case, their union was hot. That's what it was about, but I didn't find it plausible. LC is more into building taboo tension than I am, but even to me it seems like there should have been some kind of hesitation, and there was hardly a thing.

For the third case, here goes:

The plot is, "My sister and I hiked to a mountain lake. We had sex and liked it a lot. We left for college." That's 3+ Lit pages. To me, the story seemed too long. From the title, I expected there to be more to the story.

A lot of the content was descriptive. You did a good job of using descriptive action. You drew a rather precise picture of the mountain setting, but it was certainly more than I needed to understand the story. In a few cases you went over the top; "obsidian sky" for instance. The night sky in the wilderness does not resemble obsidian.

I like dialog, and you used a lot of dialog. I should like it, right? But the dialog seemed unnaturally rigid. Why would a brother and sister repeatedly use each others names when there was no need to use names at all? And, like a lot of the description, a lot of the dialog seemed to add little more than bulk to the story.

You did a great job with the eroticism. It seems to be your forte. I'm not sure what parts of the prose style you were working on. For my interests as a reader, a different balance of action and description would have worked better. That's subjective. Different readers are likely to give you different results.

This is very thoughtful advice and criticism. I appreciate it. It gives me something to think about moving forward.

 

[XerXesXu]

I had a read and gave it 5 stars. It was literate, well structured, and I liked the romantic and almost spiritual description. That's the ego stroking part.

The constructive part isn't about you, it's about me.

Incest isn't an interest of mine, and an important part of my reading your story was to, perhaps, gain some insight into the appeal of Incest. But I was able to read it as a romantic, 'I fell in love with my sister's best friend' story. I didn't see anything that made me convinced they were brother and sister, it was simply asserted that they were, and some token misgivings were inserted.

There's no interaction between them consistent with my experience of a brother/sister relationship. The core relationship didn't convince me.

So, do the fans of Incest require nothing more than describing the participants as familial relations to get added value? Your story was enthusiastically received.

Can you simply write a non-incest story, then change character descriptions to give Incest fans their added value?



So, no insight gained. Obviously, those who find added value in Incest found it in your story.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think I agree with all of LC's comments--especially about her near-rape story. I'll add some.

You stated three goals for your story:



In the first case, I don't think you committed enough time to making the brother and sister real. You started building the eroticism about as soon as they started the hike, and the reality went away.

In the second case, their union was hot. That's what it was about, but I didn't find it plausible. LC is more into building taboo tension than I am, but even to me it seems like there should have been some kind of hesitation, and there was hardly a thing.

For the third case, here goes:

The plot is, "My sister and I hiked to a mountain lake. We had sex and liked it a lot. We left for college." That's 3+ Lit pages. To me, the story seemed too long. From the title, I expected there to be more to the story.

A lot of the content was descriptive. You did a good job of using descriptive action. You drew a rather precise picture of the mountain setting, but it was certainly more than I needed to understand the story. In a few cases you went over the top; "obsidian sky" for instance. The night sky in the wilderness does not resemble obsidian.

I like dialog, and you used a lot of dialog. I should like it, right? But the dialog seemed unnaturally rigid. Why would a brother and sister repeatedly use each others names when there was no need to use names at all? And, like a lot of the description, a lot of the dialog seemed to add little more than bulk to the story.

You did a great job with the eroticism. It seems to be your forte. I'm not sure what parts of the prose style you were working on. For my interests as a reader, a different balance of action and description would have worked better. That's subjective. Different readers are likely to give you different results.

Being a Lovecraft fan Simon scored points with me for Obsidian

I agree the erotic parts were excellent. I generally like a little more conflict to get there because I feel that can make the erotica better when you get there, but for not much build up, the scene delivered for me.

Interesting point on use of names. I catch myself doing that a lot in any story when I'm writing on the fly, then when I edit, I shake my head and think "There's only two people, they know who they're talking to, the reader knows who they are..why do I keep doing this?

As for the use of brother sister (or mom dad) there is a balance between needing to say it because that's the kink, but its easy to over do it and seem like you're pandering.

That's another thing I catch when I'm, editing, and I remove some of the
'taboo talk"

 

[SimonDoom]

Interesting comments. A common refrain, both here and in some private comments I've gotten, is that some readers weren't convinced by the brother-sister relationship. That's given me pause and something to think about.

For the record, I don't have a sister, so I wonder if that played a role. I'm making it up, completely. I have no life material to draw on. If my incest stories seem a bit thin in terms of developing the relationship it's probably because I don't take them that seriously. It's something I enjoy in erotica but never fantasize about in real life, or have any experience with in real life. I think some of my stories in other categories are more serious (whatever that means), and they draw more closely on kinks and interests that are closer to my heart.

To XeXerces point: It's a good question. Can you write a successful incest story just by grafting a shell of a family relationship over an erotic couplings story? To some extent you can, especially if the prose is good, but I think the best incest stories usually delve more deeply into the relationship. An example that comes to mind is PacoFear's Words on Skin, which deals with a brother-sister relationship. In my story the incestuous aspect of the relationship begin and culminates in only about 12 hours, which admittedly is not a lot of time to develop a convincing incestuous relationship.

On the other hand, my most successful story has a mom and son getting together over the span of a single television episode. So, who knows?

Lots of food for thought, so far. I do appreciate it.

 

[NotWise]

Interesting comments. A common refrain, both here and in some private comments I've gotten, is that some readers weren't convinced by the brother-sister relationship. That's given me pause and something to think about.

Having family present in the story is one way to build the relationship. A brother and sister can interact with parents, or with friends, girlfriends and boyfriends.

Giving them a history is another way. You can use recollections from childhood, especially recollections of the kind of abuse that siblings often heap on each other. If you don't have a sister, then that could be hard to do.

Competition is also a tool. Siblings are often competitive, and introducing competition to their characters can be convincing. I think it would be unusual to have much competition between a girl and a boy if they weren't siblings.

And then there's the taboo tension, which can be introduced several ways, and which some readers need in order to believe the relationship. I remember getting a comment to the effect of "but was she really his sister?" Bingo. I found a reader who needed more tension in the story.

Among my sibcest stories, "My Sister's Wedding" departs the most from the norms. At the start of the story, the siblings are in their mid-late twenties, and their sexual relationship has been going on since their early teens. I use friends and family, and recollections of their past to establish their relationship, and I play down the tensions because they have an old relationship.

 

[lovecraft68]

Having family present in the story is one way to build the relationship. A brother and sister can interact with parents, or with friends, girlfriends and boyfriends.

Giving them a history is another way. You can use recollections from childhood, especially recollections of the kind of abuse that siblings often heap on each other. If you don't have a sister, then that could be hard to do.

Competition is also a tool. Siblings are often competitive, and introducing competition to their characters can be convincing. I think it would be unusual to have much competition between a girl and a boy if they weren't siblings.

And then there's the taboo tension, which can be introduced several ways, and which some readers need in order to believe the relationship. I remember getting a comment to the effect of "but was she really his sister?" Bingo. I found a reader who needed more tension in the story.

Among my sibcest stories, "My Sister's Wedding" departs the most from the norms. At the start of the story, the siblings are in their mid-late twenties, and their sexual relationship has been going on since their early teens. I use friends and family, and recollections of their past to establish their relationship, and I play down the tensions because they have an old relationship.

Another key to convincing sibling relationship is banter and rivalry. Siblings are everything to each other. Sibs, friends, playmates, confidants, partners in crime and of course in these stories eventually lovers.

They tease and bicker and insult each other, but usually in the spirit of ball busting than real angst. Good dialogue between them can go a long way to make for realism and authenticity.

 

[suestevenson143]

Very good read

 

[sirhugs]

The sex scene is great. It is hard to critique a writer of your skill.

I wish that you had developed Sara's character more deeply early. In a FP POV story, there is the risk that the other characters become merely devices to serve the narrator's story. Nothing wrong with that, but I am responding to your goal of making both characters more "real".

My personal preference is for stories that begin with dialogue rather than description. Your opening paragraph could gave easily dropped down to after the initial exchange, thus I think drawing in the reader deeper, and giving Sara a more prominent role off the bat. As structured, I found the opening exposition heavy and that it really only started rolling in the middle of page one where there is the extended dialogue section. Do we need all the description of Sara's attire?

Sara is objectified, which I think gets in the way of the Christopher's character being fully developed as well. For example, the line on page 2, "My cock twitched". Okay, but how did that make Cristopher feel? If my cock twitched around my sister, god forbid, I would run screaming, or at least make a mental note to call a shrink. Instead, the narrative continues. I would have included a comment like "I was shocked by this reaction, and reminded myself that not only was this my little sister, but that she had just revealed to me her past sexual trauma. I figured acting normal and hoping it was a fluke was my best bet."

I was disappointed that there was no resolution of Sara's past trauma, again making me feel that the story needed more balance. A common trope in Lit incest stories is that sex with family is better because of the trust, and I felt that you missed the opportunity to use your talent to elevate the story to the next level by doing something fresh with that trope.

Overall though I gave it 5 stars.

 

[SimonDoom]

T

Sara is objectified, which I think gets in the way of the Christopher's character being fully developed as well. For example, the line on page 2, "My cock twitched". Okay, but how did that make Cristopher feel? If my cock twitched around my sister, god forbid, I would run screaming, or at least make a mental note to call a shrink. Instead, the narrative continues. I would have included a comment like "I was shocked by this reaction, and reminded myself that not only was this my little sister, but that she had just revealed to me her past sexual trauma. I figured acting normal and hoping it was a fluke was my best bet."

This is true. I added the trauma part to add something to her character, but I didn't do much with that in the rest of the story, and without that, there's not much to her character. There's no question that from the beginning of the hike she is objectified, and perhaps there should be more narrator angst about that.
Thank you for the input.

 

[8letters]

Let me start by saying that you don't need to change anything. Your story did great - 4.74 rating, tons of views, and lots of comments, almost all of which are positive. There's obviously a large audience for this type of story. If you want to keep writing this way, you'll continue to do very well.

But you seem unsure of your style for brother-sister stories, so I'll eventually give you some instruction on how to write the story like I would have written it. But it is perfectly reasonable for you to not want to write like me. You need to find the SimonDoom style for brother-sister stories.

Side note: one time, Lovecraft68 posted a brother-sister story to this forum for feedback. Highly rated with lots of positive comments. I gave lots and lots of feedback on how he should have written it like me. Looking back at it now, I'm sure the whole time he read my feedback, he was thinking "Who the fuck are you?" And I really wasn't in a place to lecture him on how to write like me. He's an extremely successful writer using his own style.

Before I get into how I would have written the story, let me toss out an idea to you. The time frame - a weekend - is too short for my style to work. It was clear from the start of the story that the sister wanted to fuck. I started reading a story recently, My Wife, Barbara, that might be a better model to use for improving your story. It's a mother-son story where the mom alternatively leads the son on and tells him to cool his jets. There's a "will she?" tension in the story that yours lacks.

My feedback. Warning: It's harsh and brutal
The beginning was a huge lost opportunity
The sister wanted to camp at the lake for a weekend because _______. As there was no other reason given, it was a small jump to "she wants her brother to fuck her silly". And that should have been obvious to everyone. It's tough for me to see the parents giving their blessing to the weekend. And the brother should already be thinking his sister wants to fuck him. What does he think of that?

Some possible alternative answers to that question:
* She wants to do some birdwatching in that locale
* She wants to add some dramatic nature pictures to her photography portfolio
* She wants to do one last extreme workout weekend before returning to her sedentary life at college
* She wants to gather some leaves and other plant parts for one of her classes in the fall

Which leads me to...

The sister is all body and no personality
The only interest the sister has in the story is fucking her brother. If you had given her an alternative answer, that would have given her an interest that you could use to bond with her brother. Maybe they are both birders. Maybe he loves her artistic talent. Maybe he loves her gung ho, athletic style. As it is, the only reason we are given for the brother to like the sister is that she has a great body.

There's no drama to the story
The sister makes it clear from when she proposes going to the lake that she intends to fuck her brother. She repeatedly makes that clear - the way she dresses on the hike, her telling him that he's the only guy she trusts, wearing the tiny bikini, "I think we're all alone here, Christopher", "Like what you see?" etc. By the bottom of page 1, I wouldn't be surprised if she seduces the brother by standing in front of him wearing only a sash that says, "Fuck me now!"

Side note on the tiny bikini: from the description, it sounds inappropriate for wearing while camping with family. Yes, she's older now, but women's bodies don't change a whole lot after 8th or 9th grade.

There doesn't seem to be any drama on the brother's side. Despite the obviousness of the sister's move on him, he doesn't realize that she's making a move on him. Her displaying her body to him repeatedly gives him an erection, which he repeatedly shrugs off. As her plays for him get more and more blatant, he keeps shrugging them off.

After a while, reading the story gets painful, like watching the "romantic" scenes from the second Star Wars prequel.

Hope this helps
But I won't be surprised if it doesn't. You have to find your style, which isn't going to be like mine.

I'm considering this my promised feedback on your story. It's a lot longer than what I would have left as a comment.

 

[SimonDoom]

Let me start by saying that you don't need to change anything. Your story did great - 4.74 rating, tons of views, and lots of comments, almost all of which are positive. There's obviously a large audience for this type of story. If you want to keep writing this way, you'll continue to do very well.

But you seem unsure of your style for brother-sister stories, so I'll eventually give you some instruction on how to write the story like I would have written it. But it is perfectly reasonable for you to not want to write like me. You need to find the SimonDoom style for brother-sister stories.

Side note: one time, Lovecraft68 posted a brother-sister story to this forum for feedback. Highly rated with lots of positive comments. I gave lots and lots of feedback on how he should have written it like me. Looking back at it now, I'm sure the whole time he read my feedback, he was thinking "Who the fuck are you?" And I really wasn't in a place to lecture him on how to write like me. He's an extremely successful writer using his own style.

Before I get into how I would have written the story, let me toss out an idea to you. The time frame - a weekend - is too short for my style to work. It was clear from the start of the story that the sister wanted to fuck. I started reading a story recently, My Wife, Barbara, that might be a better model to use for improving your story. It's a mother-son story where the mom alternatively leads the son on and tells him to cool his jets. There's a "will she?" tension in the story that yours lacks.

My feedback. Warning: It's harsh and brutal
The beginning was a huge lost opportunity
The sister wanted to camp at the lake for a weekend because _______. As there was no other reason given, it was a small jump to "she wants her brother to fuck her silly". And that should have been obvious to everyone. It's tough for me to see the parents giving their blessing to the weekend. And the brother should already be thinking his sister wants to fuck him. What does he think of that?

Some possible alternative answers to that question:
* She wants to do some birdwatching in that locale
* She wants to add some dramatic nature pictures to her photography portfolio
* She wants to do one last extreme workout weekend before returning to her sedentary life at college
* She wants to gather some leaves and other plant parts for one of her classes in the fall

Which leads me to...

The sister is all body and no personality
The only interest the sister has in the story is fucking her brother. If you had given her an alternative answer, that would have given her an interest that you could use to bond with her brother. Maybe they are both birders. Maybe he loves her artistic talent. Maybe he loves her gung ho, athletic style. As it is, the only reason we are given for the brother to like the sister is that she has a great body.

There's no drama to the story
The sister makes it clear from when she proposes going to the lake that she intends to fuck her brother. She repeatedly makes that clear - the way she dresses on the hike, her telling him that he's the only guy she trusts, wearing the tiny bikini, "I think we're all alone here, Christopher", "Like what you see?" etc. By the bottom of page 1, I wouldn't be surprised if she seduces the brother by standing in front of him wearing only a sash that says, "Fuck me now!"

Side note on the tiny bikini: from the description, it sounds inappropriate for wearing while camping with family. Yes, she's older now, but women's bodies don't change a whole lot after 8th or 9th grade.

There doesn't seem to be any drama on the brother's side. Despite the obviousness of the sister's move on him, he doesn't realize that she's making a move on him. Her displaying her body to him repeatedly gives him an erection, which he repeatedly shrugs off. As her plays for him get more and more blatant, he keeps shrugging them off.

After a while, reading the story gets painful, like watching the "romantic" scenes from the second Star Wars prequel.

Hope this helps
But I won't be surprised if it doesn't. You have to find your style, which isn't going to be like mine.

I'm considering this my promised feedback on your story. It's a lot longer than what I would have left as a comment.

Thanks for your feedback. I think some of your points are quite good. We have different styles and goals with our stories, but I appreciate feedback even when it's from a different perspective than my own.

I'm going to read your latest story, but it may take me a little while to get back to you because it's much longer than the usual story that I read.

 

[lovecraft68]

Side note: one time, Lovecraft68 posted a brother-sister story to this forum for feedback. Highly rated with lots of positive comments. I gave lots and lots of feedback on how he should have written it like me. Looking back at it now, I'm sure the whole time he read my feedback, he was thinking "Who the fuck are you?" And I really wasn't in a place to lecture him on how to write like me. He's an extremely successful writer using his own style.

My memory is shot, for the life of me I can't remember the story I offered up, just that it was your review thread. I just remember thinking your feedback was pretty much on how you would have done rather than general feedback.

I do recall sending you a PM at one point saying that with a lot of the "OG" taboo authors gone, or like me, just not posting too often anymore, you were one of the changing of the guard.

I still think that, your stuff is pretty good...titles aren't overly catchy would be my only knock, but that's less of a factor here than it would be for sale.

Simon does well in I/T as well, but he writes in other categories.

Having said that, maybe the reason I still drop a story here and there is to show you pups the old dog still has some bite

 

[8letters]

My memory is shot, for the life of me I can't remember the story I offered up, just that it was your review thread. I just remember thinking your feedback was pretty much on how you would have done rather than general feedback.

It was "Porn Shoot with My Sister".

I do recall sending you a PM at one point saying that with a lot of the "OG" taboo authors gone, or like me, just not posting too often anymore, you were one of the changing of the guard.

I was really shocked to received that. It made me feel great.

Having said that, maybe the reason I still drop a story here and there is to show you pups the old dog still has some bite

I don't know everywhere you publish, but at Smashwords the stories of yours I checked got a tiny fraction of the comments they'd get here. Do you miss all the comments?

 

[8letters]

I'm going to read your latest story, but it may take me a little while to get back to you because it's much longer than the usual story that I read.

As it's 14 pages, I can see that.

My suggested feedback: "As this is your first mother-son story, you clearly don't know what you're doing."

 

[lovecraft68]

It was "Porn Shoot with My Sister".


I was really shocked to received that. It made me feel great.


I don't know everywhere you publish, but at Smashwords the stories of yours I checked got a tiny fraction of the comments they'd get here. Do you miss all the comments?

Porn shoot? That was fun, but one of the ones I look back on as meh.

Reviews are few and far between on Smashwords and even amazon. Part of why i imagine is people don't want to be attached to erotica, especially taboo work...even though SW has fake names like Lit does.

I still get comments on my stuff here, although it seems comments are down since they started screening them so part of me thinks the best days are behind us for that.

I'll be putting something in Nude Day, but going with a Milf story rather than taboo.

 

[lovecraft68]

As it's 14 pages, I can see that.

My suggested feedback: "As this is your first mother-son story, you clearly don't know what you're doing."

Mom competes with step-mom. Its funny how our pervy minds run alike, I have a similar idea I jotted some notes down on for that type of story.

14 pages? Pretty impressive.

 

[8letters]

Mom competes with step-mom. Its funny how our pervy minds run alike, I have a similar idea I jotted some notes down on for that type of story.

It drew some inspiration for an old scouries story that wasn't very good. Maybe you too thought you could do better with his idea.

As for "Porn Shoot", you may not remember this but I asked you permission to do my own version of it. I opened your story, didn't read word one, and then had a story idea from just the title and the description. But I couldn't make it work out - I was going to have them do an actual porn shoot but people don't make enough money from a porn shoot to make the story work.

 

[SimonDoom]

As it's 14 pages, I can see that.

My suggested feedback: "As this is your first mother-son story, you clearly don't know what you're doing."

That made me laugh. I don't think I'd be that presumptuous. I'll read it before giving feedback, and I'm sure it will go beyond that.

I haven't read the story yet, but I will. But lest I be accused of plagiarism I just want to be on the record that before you published this story I developed the idea of a guy who has sex with his mother, his mother-in-law, and his stepmother, on the same day. Plausibility is not a crucial element of this story idea.

 

[NotWise]

It drew some inspiration for an old scouries story that wasn't very good. Maybe you too thought you could do better with his idea.

As for "Porn Shoot", you may not remember this but I asked you permission to do my own version of it. I opened your story, didn't read word one, and then had a story idea from just the title and the description. But I couldn't make it work out - I was going to have them do an actual porn shoot but people don't make enough money from a porn shoot to make the story work.

And now I've written "Sex Under Studio Lights"

Maybe we're running out of ideas.

 

[8letters]

Maybe we're running out of ideas.

I don't know what you're talking about. I have plenty of great ideas.

Time to get back to writing "Mom Sits On My Lap As Dad Drives Me To College".

 

[SimonDoom]

Maybe we're running out of ideas.

Even Shakespeare based most of his plays on preexisting stories.

There are plenty of new, original stories to be written. There are also infinite ways to write new twists on old ideas.

Some of my stories are plainly and unashamedly based on preexisting plot ideas, like my mom on the lap story, or my mailgirl chapter. But some are, as far as I know, completely original and unusual -- In the Hallway, BTB, Inc., Bikini with a Mind of Its Own, Ogg Comes to the Hangout, etc.

I have fun writing stories of both types.