My Inadequacies or His?

[Sitagirl]

Hi all. This is my first time actually posting something on here, but I've got a sex problem and know that this would be the best place to find a solution.
My lover and I have been having sex for a while, and my problem is that I can't seem to orgasm with him. He is my first and only lover. He brings me VERY close, but that's as far as I can get. I can bring myself off with my own two hands, but not with him. He's tried with his hands and of course with intercourse. He is not fond of oral sex, though is very willing to give it, if that makes sense. He turns me on more than anything, and he is always (almost) a part of my fantasies when I masturbate. It makes him feel really badly, and that just makes me feel bad, and I really care about him.
So, any suggestions as to why or as to what I can do would be greatly appreciated. Then I can enjoy the full act of sex including the foreplay and the follow-up cuddling (which we end up doing after he cums).

Thanks!

sitagirl

 

[Golden]

hi sitagirl.

first off, dump words like "Inadequacy" from the vocab.

The answer is in the area of:

1. lack of practice/familarity with each other's bodies
2. communication
3. imagination and experimentation

Sex may come naturally, but really great and effective sex can need a bit of thought and a bit of work! That's not an inadequacty, so smile!

there was a thread called "I need to cum" started by Slutgirl, last post a few days ago. lots of good advice on this thread, and from both guys and gals. You aren't the only one!

[Laurel how do you cross link a thread?]

 

[Skitten]

Hello, Take it easy and relax, you are too worried. If you take it easy and enjoy one another and make yourself more comfortable with each other it will happen. You or he may be too edgy expecting too much. So just try to relax and enjoy each other and it will happen. I have been married for 12 years and the first couple I don't think either of us knew what we were doing. lol.
Just try to be yourself and enjoy the pleasure and eventually it will all come with time, relaxation, communication and of
course experimentation. Just try new things to spice it up it never hurts to give some new things a try. Just a thought so have fun and enjoy.
skitten

 

[Fletch_99]

I agree totally with the two previous entries, their absolutly right. You see now you've created a problem. Your worring over the matter. Every thing takes time. Slow down, enjoy each other's bodies completely and fully. But don't worry, now with the anticipation of you not being able to cum, your husband may feel some guilt, don't let or you either, don't feel bad, every thing takes time.

My wife had the same problem for the first few month we were married. I could get her off with my fingers and that's it. The with a little time and patients with my tongue, then about after 6 or 7 months during intercourse, she'd cum 2 or 3 times. Communication and practice, remember practice makes perfect.

 

[Rosebud]

They say that with women you have to really put what you want in your mind and concentrate. You could just need to find the right position too. How about oral sex...does he do that and do you get off easier that way? Sometimes the g spot is hard to find on women...you just need to put your whole body and soul into orgasm mode. Try it on top and control where the action is going and when you find the right spot....HEAVEN..

 

[Dlphn]

The best thing to do is relax. Perhaps he'll begin to enjoy oral sex...that may be the way for you to have an orgasm. Everyone's different. No one is inadequate, and everyone could use a lesson or two in the "love-one-another" category. Remember, he is your first.
Did you ever try talking to him about what areas you like stimulated? Direction can be cool during sex, depending on the person.
You say that you can have an orgasm during masturbation...did he ever watch you do this? It can be a great teacher, and a terrific turn-on.
Good luck with the two of you! HAVE FUN!

 

[robertreams]

does he know how to find your G spot?

does he do oral and use his fingers at the same time?

If he doesn't really like it, of course it won't make you cum, you are too worried about wether he likes it.

Have you tried toys?

 

[LadyVer]

This is a 13-year-old thread..The op could be dead.

 

[boutrosboutros]

This is a 13-year-old thread..The op could be dead.

Hopefully they've figured things out by now, at the very least.

 

[LadyVer]

Hopefully they've figured things out by now, at the very least.

You would think.