My Grandmother was a Jewish Vampire.

[ABSTRUSE]

Inspired by the "languages of Old" thread.

I saw the term Yodish and told Cloudy it reminded me of Yiddish.

So what would your Jewish grandmother the Vampire say?

"Sure, you can fly every where and bite everyone but can you call your grandmother?"

"Button that cape or you'll catch your death again in the cold."

 

[cloudy]

You stayed out in the dirt again, didn't you? When I have a nice, cozy coffin for you. tcha!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

"Oy if your Grandfather were alive and dead and alive again to see you he would turn over in his coffin."

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

You couldn't bite the neck of some nice jewish girl? Go down to 32nd st, a nice young docotr just moved in there she should love to have you come visit.

 

[cloudy]

You think you should track all that blood in here after I just cleaned? Oh, my heart can't take it.

 

[Guest]

Oy, you bit him? Didn't I raise you to keep kosher?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

What you can't just bite a nice Jewish girl?

 

[cloudy]

I know you're upset, Bubele, because we didn't sit Shiva for you. Decide on a time and place, and we'll try it again.

 

[Guest]

What you can't just bite a nice Jewish girl?

What a great line.

Bet Salvor wishes he'd said that.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

We work and slave to put you through college...for what? The living dead?

 

[Stella_Omega]

What, so the undead get Bar Mitvas too?
What, so we're made of money like your Uncle Vlad, he should drop dead again with all the cloaks and that goyim Igor and nobody knows where he got it. But I can tell you, it was a kosher Deli over on Fairfax. And all the airs he puts on. Oy. What a tsimmis.

 

[cloudy]

What, so the undead get Bar Mitvas too?
What, so we're made of money like your Uncle Vlad, he should drop dead again with all the cloaks and that goyim Igor and nobody knows where he got it. But I can tell you, it was a kosher Deli over on Fairfax. And all the airs he puts on. Oy. What a tsimmis.

PMSL!!!!!

Damn, you're good.

 

[Stella_Omega]

PMSL!!!!!

Damn, you're good.

My husband's ex-wive's family... Undead, every one of them

 

[ABSTRUSE]

What a great line.

Bet Salvor wishes he'd said that.

He begs to be me.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

What, so the undead get Bar Mitvas too?
What, so we're made of money like your Uncle Vlad, he should drop dead again with all the cloaks and that goyim Igor and nobody knows where he got it. But I can tell you, it was a kosher Deli over on Fairfax. And all the airs he puts on. Oy. What a tsimmis.

I feel a screen play coming on.

 

[CowboyPride]

Glad I could remind you yiddish by using yodish

I would have to say "Why did you bite that Goyim, don't you know it ain't kosher!" "Oy vey, What kind of mishegas is going throught that head of yours."

But then again I am just a Goyim, myself. But thought I wouldn't be to hard to try and see what I could come oup with.

To me much thanks. Yesss? But that greedy I am not.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I would have to say "Why did you bite that Goyim, don't you know it ain't kosher!" "Oy vey, What kind of mishegas is going throught that head of yours."

But then again I am just a Goyim, myself. But thought I wouldn't be to hard to try and see what I could come oup with.

To me much thanks. Yesss? But that greedy I am not.

LOL...at least you're joining the fun....and you should!! Now go call your grandmother.

I have such a taste for the lox and bagels my mother made.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I know you're upset, Bubele, because we didn't sit Shiva for you. Decide on a time and place, and we'll try it again.

... What tribe are you from, again, cloudy?

 

[cloudy]

... What tribe are you from, again, cloudy?

Choctaw....but where WE came from....

 

[entitled]

What kind of meshugge thinking is this? I told you not to marry that butcher! Now look what he did to you! He follows you everywhere, never gives you a moment to rest from sundown to sunup, and if somebody asked you to come see what they've done with their place, they'd end up in the sausage for the goyem in the morning. He never was kosher, that one!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Choctaw....but where WE came from....

Such beautiful tents they had....Oh, *clutching heart* and the beads.

 

[gauchecritic]

Be smart, marry a nice dental surgeon. Your cousin drac is seeing a hygeinist, you should be so lucky.

 

[3113]

"Oy! You've been drinking those A- types again, haven't you? I can always tell. You look like a zombie! Didn't I say? The A-, they're no good for you! Sit, sit! I've some nice O+ soup, it'll make you feel better...."

 

[zeb1094]

Oy, and now they have a dead pool thread going, maybe you should go over there, you may be able to pick up a nice Jewish girl!

 

[shereads]

Just put a stake through my heart already.