My gay wank job

[gagginforit]

I posted this and have already received a lot of feedback and that's so great, thanks so much if you did that.

I'd really like to know what women think of it, so if there are any women that like it please let me know. But be warned it's nothing but pure filth. No depth or character development.

Thanks

I'm a Cocksucker.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=160215

 

[Varian P]

One girl's take

Gaggin,

Gosh, I read "I'm a Cocksucker," and though the title and the premise struck me as somewhat promising, it didn't do much for me. Girl thing or not, disembodied genitalia spurting buckets of fluid just isn't all that arousing to me. It's not necessarily about a connection between the characters--if the narrator had been in a room blindfolded and all those men had come along to fuck and be sucked, I could have easily been on board.

I liked"Video Whore," better, since the men were there in the room with the protagonist, though I still didn't find it terribly rousing.

Personally, while I certainly don't need anything like a mushy romance, I do need some level of character development, some emotion--even if it's fear or revulsion or painful conflict--and also some kind of tension. Then bring on the filth! You do have some damn fine dirty talk in there, mister.

I hope that's a helpful first reading of the girl-audience barometer.

-Varian

 

[cloudy]

I have to admit, I like a little story with my sex, but for a stroke story, the premise is a good one.

You have some really long paragraphs, which when formatted into a story here on Lit, make it hell on your eyes to read. Try to break them up a little more.

As I moved over and took it in my hands a sudden and overwhelming urge came over me. I wanted that cock... in my ass! Without hesitation I tore off my clothes and maneuvered my ass to the hole. The guy must have heard what I was doing because he withdrew his cock, and for a second I thought I'd scared him away. I positioned myself so my butt was flat up against the hole and waited. Seconds later I almost screamed as that incredible, huge, thick member thrust through the wall and stabbed mercilessly into my waiting hole. Unbelievable sensations of pleasure exploded inside me as the huge cock plunged into me, deep inside my ass.

This could be really hot, but somehow, I wasn't that into it. What did he feel when he let a guy get his ass for the first time? (details, baby, we want details ) "Unbelievable sensations of pleasure" sure, but what were they? You could do a whole lot more with this one little part.

I like to read the Gay stories, actually. But this one....hmmm, with some reworking, it could be very hot. Almost there, but not quite.

Keep trying though! I wince when I read some of my early things.

 

[gagginforit]

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate it. It's pretty much as I expected. It's like porn movies, guys want to jump to the action while girls like a story.

Thanks again.