my frustrations with Lit, and my occasional moments of joy

[glBock]

This is not meant as an ad of mine, only a few remarks I like to share with y'all.

Most of the time I feel awfully frustrated about this forum. Why? Because nowhere else is it totally impossible for me, to affect the outcome of something I do. When I post an ad here, which I do far too often, I admit, seeking on-line companionship, it can be the best ad in the world, but that does not guarantee me a reply from the kind of woman I look for.

Or when I discover a woman here occasionally, who I figure might be an ideal mail partner for me, and I send her a PM, that message can be the most fitting message for the situation on hand, but still no reply may ever be forthcoming.

I have posted about this dilemma several times, but I cannot change these basic facts of life. So when I cannot change something, it is better that I accept it. And I have come to realize that even occasional exchanges with women, who appear capable of resonating with me, can be thought of as a source of joy. And as something like Amazing Grace, even if I am not a religious believer.

I enjoy them while they last, and when we discover that we won't be able to give each other, what we seek - deep down in our hearts, then we'll just have to move on. I hope that I'll be able to remember again what I wrote here, the next time I feel my frustrations arising again.
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[KimGordon67]

Does it ever cross your mind that if you're doing something, and ALL the women are not responding in the way you wish, that the problem may not lie with all the women?

 

[MysteryToAll]

I'd have to concur, the women are few and far in between that just disappear when messaging them. Perhaps the women you're contacting are only looking for something very specific? I have no idea which ones you're pursuing.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'd have to concur, the women are few and far in between that just disappear when messaging them. Perhaps the women you're contacting are only looking for something very specific? I have no idea which ones you're pursuing.

He has some pretty exacting standards, which is utterly fair enough ... but if you're going to have exacting standards, it's seems a little disingenuous to bemoan the number of people who aren't meeting them.
I'm pretty fussy myself, but I'm actually glad that only a few people really click with me because of that fussiness. Makes it a lot easier than trying to handle a heap of potential 'partners'.

 

[Jada59]

Does it ever cross your mind that if you're doing something, and ALL the women are not responding in the way you wish, that the problem may not lie with all the women?

You hit the nail on the head!

 

[glBock]

I wonder how you got the idea, Kim, that I wrote my post to complain? And about ALL women, as you claim? My intention was precisely the opposite. If you really read my post, you would have caught my remark about the replies I receive occasionally, and about resonances that happen.

Your reaction, and that from Jada, illustrates the main shortcoming of many Lit women: an unwillingness to read and understand. It is not surprising therefore, that so few replies – of the kind I am looking for – come in. From women able to read, able to understand, maybe even to emphasize, and able and willing in general, to look beyond their own shadow.
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[Bihornyguy]

I wonder how you got the idea, Kim, that I wrote my post to complain? And about ALL women, as you claim? My intention was precisely the opposite. If you really read my post, you would have caught my remark about the replies I receive occasionally, and about resonances that happen.

Your reaction, and that from Jada, illustrates the main shortcoming of many Lit women: an unwillingness to read and understand. It is not surprising therefore, that so few replies – of the kind I am looking for – come in. From women able to read, able to understand, maybe even to emphasize, and able and willing in general, to look beyond their own shadow.
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Are you really saying that the women here are not capable of understanding your writing? I think you might not be as a good writer as you think. Specially since you think your first post was not about you complaining.

 

[glBock]

Are you really saying that the women here are not capable of understanding your writing? I think you might not be as a good writer as you think. Specially since you think your first post was not about you complaining.

Reading anything longer than five sentences in a row - whether my post, or anything else - is an art, which very few people master. Yourself included. If I bemoaned anything at all, it was the total unpredictability of any outcomes of my writing activities via Lit.

And if you did not have tomatoes on your eyes, you would have caught also my comments about all the meaningful PMs that I do receive occasionally. From women who do know how to read. Certainly much better than you.

Apparently both you, and everybody else who chimed in so far, fails to grasp the difference between a phenomenon, which cannot be changed, and something worth complaining about. But frankly, whether or not YOU grasp anything, or Kim, or Jada, is not anything I want to concern myself with. There are far more important matters in life, worth pondering about.
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[Jada59]

I wonder how you got the idea, Kim, that I wrote my post to complain? And about ALL women, as you claim? My intention was precisely the opposite. If you really read my post, you would have caught my remark about the replies I receive occasionally, and about resonances that happen.

Your reaction, and that from Jada, illustrates the main shortcoming of many Lit women: an unwillingness to read and understand. It is not surprising therefore, that so few replies – of the kind I am looking for – come in. From women able to read, able to understand, maybe even to emphasize, and able and willing in general, to look beyond their own shadow.
.

OMFG. You are just flat out unable to see yourself as you really are.

I do try to be nice to people but I've had enough.

You say that you want empathy and you clearly don't know the meaning of the word.

Stick a fork in me!

 

[glBock]

OMFG. You are just flat out unable to see yourself as you really are.

I do try to be nice to people but I've had enough.

You say that you want empathy and you clearly don't know the meaning of the word.

Stick a fork in me!

Jada, I am sure that sticking a fork in you, would neither be good for the fork, not for you, nor for me.

So I respectfully decline your offer.

And as far as your comprehension for anything goes, I do not think we need to discuss that matter any further in public.

 

[ashik09]

Trolling, obliviousness or performance art?

 

[Bihornyguy]

Trolling, obliviousness or performance art?

It is hard to say. Maybe he is right, and we are all too stupid and ignorant to understand this great mind.

 

[beachbaby179]

What we need here is a visit from RA. Just saying...

 

[Jada59]

Jada, I am sure that sticking a fork in you, would neither be good for the fork, not for you, nor for me.

So I respectfully decline your offer.

And as far as your comprehension for anything goes, I do not think we need to discuss that matter any further in public.

It's a smart remark, meaning "I'm done". I won't bother trying to explain since you seem to think you are the King of reading comprehension.

*Poof*

 

[Jada59]

It is hard to say. Maybe he is right, and we are all too stupid and ignorant to understand this great mind.

Yeah! That must be it!

*High Fives Bihornyguy*

 

[glBock]

It is hard to say. Maybe he is right, and we are all too stupid and ignorant to understand this great mind.

I do not know, why you think you need to understand my mind? Just minding your own business would be fine, instead of feeling a necessity to comment on something you won't be able to grasp anyway.

 

[Dribble]

I love popcorn w my Lit in the morning.

 

[afriendg]

Well...I've been reading/posting/lurking on Lit for over six years now, and while I haven't posted any sort of real personal ad since way back when, I do receive the occasional PM from men who have seen something I've posted on one of the boards, or just looked at my profile or what have you. I confess, there are times I don't answer back if I check out a profile and feel our interests sould just be too disparate, or our ages, but lots of times I do. Quite often I'm not what these gentlemen are looking for in a writing partner, and so we end our friendship, no hard feelings. There are a few I have remained friendly acquaintances with on Twitter and such. That being said, when someone writes to me and I feel a true connection, it's usually something that happens pretty quickly. There has honestly only been twice that I have continued a long term relationship off of Lit with someone who I really liked. One of these crashed and burned, but I guess that is just life. I try not to ghost anyone if I can help it, but it has happened. Most of the women here who I have dealt with are lovely and kind, but maybe they are just trying to protect themselves from hurt from a man who may be less than sensitive. Of course you can't influence everyone you come in contact with here, and there may be more hurts to come, but it seems to me it's worth it because everyone you meet is unique and someone you didn't know before. We all have the same "parts" if you will, but no two people are alike, and that's part of the joy of the human connection for me.
End of long rambling post!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Wow, must things turn so vile?

It is a possibility the reason SOME may not answer, because of the retaliation in response. It is disheartening to see how a possible pleasant conversation could be taken out of context. Please, just remember, the sincerity of a statement is lost when not heard. The response may have been a tad harsh, but that's just my opinion. I am in no way belittling your feelings, but...it just seems hurtful where this is going. The intent of this thread may be taken out of context. If I am overstepping my boundaries with this comment, I'll leave this alone and go back to praying for relief from this headache and sick feeling.

 

[glBock]

thank you for your comment, afriendg

wholeheartedly!!

As far as I can tell, your comment was the first one I read here, which was sensible.

I hope you have not written it, because you felt I accused anyone here of anything. I merely wanted to remark about the unpredictability of writing outcomes.

And I hope I was able to make it clear - at least to you - that I had found a way to look at the situation in an enjoyable manner.

Thanks again!
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[glBock]

BlackCaramelCreme, I regret your headaches and sick feelings.

Maybe the weather is as nice where you are, as it is here, and you will recover your composure again.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

BlackCaramelCreme, I regret your headaches and sick feelings.

Maybe the weather is as nice where you are, as it is here, and you will recover your composure again.

It's raining cats and dogs here now. Tomorrow it's supposed to be better.

 

[Bihornyguy]

I do not know, why you think you need to understand my mind? Just minding your own business would be fine, instead of feeling a necessity to comment on something you won't be able to grasp anyway.

I hope when I grow up, I will be as smart as you. Maybe one day I can hope for your deep understanding of people and their emotions.

 

[Bdm20]

I do not know, why you think you need to understand my mind? .

Could part of the communication issue here be that the OP is ESL? His writing is hard to read with all the misplaced commas.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I will admit, I just read "what you can offer". It was interesting but as a person who has been hurt and held conversations with men who were in relationships, while married, someone always ends up getting hurt. Either that man or woman or the spouse.

When I give my heart to someone, it's theirs and theirs only. I'm protective of who I open it up to and how it is given. When there is a marriage, there are complications. This is just my opinion. Deep hurt because not just you have a conscience, so do I. It is this conscience that promotes a more platonic friendship rather than a more intimate one, here on Lit. And because of knowing what it feels like to feel like raw sewage because the person I gave my all to belittled my feelings and used me, only to dump me as you would a candy wrapper.