My first story.

[BartlebyWaylon]

It's about a student who gets "punished" in detention after his teacher catches him checking her out. Please note it has BBW-themed content in case that's not your thing. Everyone else, enjoy.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=510931

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I enjoyed this story. But this story was right in my wheelhouse, so that should not be surprising.

I found the action to be a little tame, but that actually made it seem more realistic. I would guess that situations like the one depicted in this story more often than not reach a climax short of full intercourse, at least initially. What you did a very well was building the tension, once you got past the rather lengthy introduction. (I have a nearly identical confession/introduction in one of my stories, as well). I especially enjoyed the way Mrs. Ruby cornered and bagged her prey before revealing that the trap had even been sprung.

The only real negative comment that I would add--besides pointing out a few spelling mistakes and other typos that an editor could eliminate--was what I found to be a distracting inconsistency in the narrative voice. The story is told from a first person point of view, but at times you lapse into what is almost a second person point of view. I say "almost second person" because the reader is not actually a character in the story, but you talk directly to the reader as if s/he were. Other people might not have a problem with that, but I found it annoying. Fortunately, it only happened in two or three places, so the distraction was minimal.

Overall, a very good story. There is obviously more story that you could tell regarding further encounters with Mrs. Ruby, but I think it is better if you leave it where it is. This way, it is entirely credible.

 

[BartlebyWaylon]

Thanks for the feedback. I am new to this and your thoughtful analysis is very helpful.