My first "story"

Yatty

Experienced
Joined
Aug 23, 2004
Posts
55
I hope this is the place to post this..oh well here goes :

The vouyer


So I notice this girl in the corner of my eye, checking me out but being discreet.

I walk over to her, not knowing what would be in store. She has a big smile on her face, a smile that would make any guy melt in her presence.

We get a nice conversation happening, and decide to go back to her house, as it was more private and we can be alone.

She has an apartment in the city, with windows all around and people can easily look in.

We then kiss, very passionately, she then goes down and opens up my belt with her teeth. Right now, I'm already about to explode.

She pulls my pants and boxers down, and licks the backside of my boner. It feels soo good, tickles a little but I like that. She then blows me, for a good 10 minutes. As she's blowing me, I notice in the block next to her apartment, a lady watching with binnoculars. I don't mind, as I kinda like people watching.

I take her head off my cock, and carry her up onto the kitchen bench. She spreads open her legs, and I eat her out. She starts to moan softly, but gets harder as I start to pinch her breasts a little.

I take her off the kitchen bench and into her bedroom, where I find she has 2 pairs of handcuffs. I take them, and hand cuff her to the bed.

I caress every single part of her body, with my lips. I then suck on her nice hard nipples whilst fingering her. At this point she's moaning harder.

I uncuff her from the bed, and handcuff her hands together behind her back. Bend her over, with her face on the pillow.

I take her from behind slowly, not knowing if she likes it anal or not, I proceed. I go slowly to start with, but I see she's liking it alot. So I go harder, and harder.

I take it out, and uncuff her again, then cuff her legs and hands together. Then I stick it in, and proceed with the bunnyears position.

She's obviusly liking being cuffed, as she moaning very very heavily.

I look out the window again, and notice the lady fingering herself and licking her fingers. This is such a turn on for me, and I can't help but going harder and harder. Her acts of vouyerism only helps my urges of exhibitionism.

As both girls are just about to scream in satisfaction, I can't help but start spanking her, and saying "You like it like that, don't you bitch?" I don't know why I said that, as I never say dirty things in bed, but I couldn't help myself. Never have I felt like this before.

As I see both girls moaning so heavily that you only wonder how the neigbours can sleep through this, I can only moan heavier than them.

At this point I can't go any harder, it's just not humanly possible. As the girl screams in satisfaction, I suddenly take it out of her and quickly put it in her mouth. I've never done this before, but I couldn't helpy myself, I wasn't myself that day. As I cum in her mouth, and on her face, I look out the window, only to notice that lady screaming, and squirting. I couldn't believe this, but it only helped my way to the best orgasm in my life.
 
Try the Story Feedback forum. The "Circle" here has a few established procedures and the persons 'swap' critiques.


J.
 
Pure said:
Try the Story Feedback forum. The "Circle" here has a few established procedures and the persons 'swap' critiques.


J.
Again, can you clarify that please, Pure?

The Story Feedback forum's blurb says: "Post your feedback about Literotica stories you love or hate!" but Yatty's post (and one I'm going to make when I find out how all this does actually work - despite forum and thread titles) seems intended to solicit feedback on a story that isn't posted on Lit. Thus it seems blatantly obvious that your post is simply wrong!

I'm sure it isn't really like that, so could you help all of us who are new here by giving a little more explicit guidance about how to solicit feedback on stories that are as yet, and indeed may never be, published by Literotica?

Thanks in advance.

f5
 
Story feedback forum is the place to be. It has become the de facto site for criticism for those who do not care to complete the requirements (two critiques of other peoples' work and submitting through the sticky thread) required to post here. Actually, I think if you look, you will see that there have been recent threads and responses from Carson and Varian.

Shanglan
 
Last edited:
Hi Fifty 5,


The Story Feedback forum's blurb says: "Post your feedback about Literotica stories you love or hate!" but Yatty's post (and one I'm going to make when I find out how all this does actually work - despite forum and thread titles) seems intended to solicit feedback on a story that isn't posted on Lit. Thus it seems blatantly obvious that your post is simply wrong!

I'm sure it isn't really like that, so could you help all of us who are new here by giving a little more explicit guidance about how to solicit feedback on stories that are as yet, and indeed may never be, published by Literotica?

Thanks in advance.


-----
I do see the issue, in that Story Feedback is usually to officially submitted/posted stories. But in fact you may 'post' a story there or in the 'general discussion' and ask what people think.

You could also just submit as a way of getting a draft available, then later take it down and/or replace it. Of put it on your webpage, and post its address.

You could also say, in SF, "I have a draft I'll PM or email you, if you give a shout and say you're willing."

The procedure of the Circle, which I alluded to, is that those seeking critiques, *offer some critiques to others. There is a swap. Those in the loop, as it were, post their names and proposals in the "Discussion Feedback" thread (the 'sticky').

If you would post your name there, and look at the thread of existing stories (each story to be critique has its own thread), you could start participating.

I'm not sure what part of this, or the earlier post you feel is 'wrong', but I have described what happens. There a occasional folks like yetty, who, not knowing the situation, simply drop off a story for others to work on, but most of us will discourage or ignore that.

Best,
J.
 
I think of the Story Feedback board as being a place where anyone can drop off a story and encourage some response. It’s open to everyone.

The Story Discussion Circle board is intended for more detailed alaysis and critiquing of stories, either published or still in progress. Critiquing a story takes considerable time and effort though, and so it’s only fair that before you submit anything you pay your dues by offering a couple of critiques of your own. That’s why there’s a quid pro quo here.

So if you just want to see if people liked your story or not, the SF board is the place to go. If you want a more detailed dissection of the piece, then you come here and sign up.

---dr.M.
 
Thanks one and all for the helpful answers to my post. Now I must dash - two puppies crying!

f5
 
Back
Top