My first story is online!

[doctor_b_mo]

Hey everyone,
My first ever erotic story has been published!
http://www.literotica.com/s/thank-you-heather-ch-01

I'd love to hear your feedback ...

Brief synopsis: Brad's girlfriend leaves him, and although their sex life was dull, he's devastated. He recovers by meeting a much wilder woman via Craigslist.
Canadians may appreciate that it takes place in Toronto

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

A solid 3.

Its been written 100,000 times before.

 

[sr71plt]

As you no doubt will discover for yourself, Doc, you can pretty much discount anything that JBJ posts. He just posts for shock value and to get personal attention. Rarely can back up his zinger posts with substance--or even tries to.

 

[doctor_b_mo]

haha, no worries. I was actually worried I'd have worse comments by now

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

As you no doubt will discover for yourself, Doc, you can pretty much discount anything that JBJ posts. He just posts for shock value and to get personal attention. Rarely can back up his zinger posts with substance--or even tries to.

People can read for themselves.

 

[litmlove]

A story where sex is incidental to the story = fiction.
A story where sex is integral to the story = erotica.
A story where sex is the story = pornography

I could write a paragraph or two complaining how there is a lack of character development and story conflict but that would be missing the point. You weren't trying to do erotica.

So to review pornographic fiction, errr, you wrote a pretty good story. You are good at imagery, maybe use more sensory language? I think there should be awkward, silly and embarrassing moments mixed in with your tender and passionate moments, but whatever, that is my preference.

 

[doctor_b_mo]

A story where sex is incidental to the story = fiction.
A story where sex is integral to the story = erotica.
A story where sex is the story = pornography

I could write a paragraph or two complaining how there is a lack of character development and story conflict but that would be missing the point. You weren't trying to do erotica.

So to review pornographic fiction, errr, you wrote a pretty good story. You are good at imagery, maybe use more sensory language? I think there should be awkward, silly and embarrassing moments mixed in with your tender and passionate moments, but whatever, that is my preference.

Fair comments. Thank you! Much appreciated