My first story! Id love some feedback :)

[Potent_eyes]

Would love to know your thoughts. It's an erotic coupling story, there's a twist or two in it.

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-choice-leads-to-closure

 

[OnlyHappyEndings]

You have a good voice and a strong grasp of narrative. Hard to believe this was your first time, sweet sparrow.

 

[Potent_eyes]

You have a good voice and a strong grasp of narrative. Hard to believe this was your first time, sweet sparrow.

I greatly appreciate that! *hugs*

 

[LucieLou007]

i thought it was a great read, and so well written, definitely a follow :

 

[ElectricBlue]

Would love to know your thoughts. It's an erotic coupling story, there's a twist or two in it.

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-choice-leads-to-closure

Brush up on your dialogue punctuation. You're inconsistent, and your placement and usage of commas isn't always correct. All dialogue punctuation goes inside the speech marks, and if you're using a speech tag, you need a comma, not a full stop.

An occasional punctuation glitch is okay, but when it's repeated it gets in the way of a smooth read. It's a basic technical thing to get right early on in your writing, so you don't learn bad habits.

So far as the story went, it was like a little fairy tale, full of innocence.

 

[Potent_eyes]

Brush up on your dialogue punctuation. You're inconsistent, and your placement and usage of commas isn't always correct. All dialogue punctuation goes inside the speech marks, and if you're using a speech tag, you need a comma, not a full stop.

An occasional punctuation glitch is okay, but when it's repeated it gets in the way of a smooth read. It's a basic technical thing to get right early on in your writing, so you don't learn bad habits.

So far as the story went, it was like a little fairy tale, full of innocence.

Thank you for your feedback, I very much appreciate it!

 

[billrokra]

Would love to know your thoughts. It's an erotic coupling story, there's a twist or two in it.

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-choice-leads-to-closure

I can safely say it is the most original story I have ever read on Lit. Well done.

 

[LilyBright]

I agree - very original and compelling! Well done!

 

[Stopokochac]

As someone with both a foot fetish and a CNC kink, I found the sex scenes incredibly arousing, and the fact that you made it sensual CNC made it even hotter, but the supernatural element and the ending wasn't really my cup of tea. But as far as the writing, it was good.

 

[Tyrantino]

I enjoyed reading. Following

Unlike Stopokochac, the ending caught me by surprise and I think it's magnificent. A very well-rounded story, IMO, of an originality that is not found every day.