My First Real Story Is Up!!! :d

[mlady_france]

That's right, my first real story has just posted!
Frustrated House Wife

Please tell me what you think, so I can learn what I need to improve on.

 

[Samandiriel]

So the other stuff was what? Artificial? Plagerised? written by an alternate personality?

 

[mlady_france]

So the other stuff was what? Artificial? Plagerised? written by an alternate personality?

 

[Guest]

Congrats, Mlady!

Don't mind Sam, she's just jealous cos she's only got one submission.

Lou

 

[Samandiriel]

Bumped your thread, didn't I?

I only read Harlequinn Romances and Barbara Cartwright novels.








okay, I can't even type that with a straight face.

 

[mlady_france]

Bumped your thread, didn't I?

I only read Harlequinn Romances and Barbara Cartwright novels.








okay, I can't even type that with a straight face.

And what a good bump it was.

 

[silverwhisper]

i've read it and i think it's good, but was made curious...i'd expect this to be part 1 of a series, rather than a complete story in itself, given that the fundamental conflict is built up so much but it doesn't appear to have been resolved or addressed. ?

ed

 

[mlady_france]

i've read it and i think it's good, but was made curious...i'd expect this to be part 1 of a series, rather than a complete story in itself, given that the fundamental conflict is built up so much but it doesn't appear to have been resolved or addressed. ?

ed

You are right in that. It's not really a completement. The problem is, I haven't decided where to go next. As soon as I figure it out, I'll pass on a new chapter.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Congrats!

Bit of a bump, cos I'm off to read the masterpiece.

Did Sam mean 'Barbara Cartland' or what?

 

[silverwhisper]

ah...OK, i wasn't certain.

i think you've set the conflict in sufficiently grand terms to sustain a number of further episodes. from where i sit as a reader, i would expect that the protagonist will proceed to progressively more intrusive and more extreme measures.

JMHO, but i think the logical next chapters would revolve around:

the protagonist videotaping herself masturbating
having someone else videotape her
have another man
have a woman
have an orgy

ed

 

[mlady_france]

ah...OK, i wasn't certain.

i think you've set the conflict in sufficiently grand terms to sustain a number of further episodes. from where i sit as a reader, i would expect that the protagonist will proceed to progressively more intrusive and more extreme measures.

JMHO, but i think the logical next chapters would revolve around:

the protagonist videotaping herself masturbating
having someone else videotape her
have another man
have a woman
have an orgy

ed

Great ideas! Thanks for the sugestions. I'll keep them in mind.

 

[silverwhisper]

you know, that wasn't phrased quite the way i would have liked: i meant to say that those future events would seem to make sense to me as a reader. naturally, i don't mean to suggest that my opinion has any more weight than the ether. :>

ed

 

[neonlyte]

Read and sent f/b.

 

[mlady_france]

Read and sent f/b.

Thanks for the feedback neon.

 

[KarenAM]

Congratulations, Mlady France!

 

[lil_elvis]

Incoming!

Feedback that is.

 

[Lovepotion69]

I will read it tonight.

 

[mlady_france]

Thanks everyone for you feedback, comments and votes. And all the encouragement. Every comment helps me to understand what I do well and what needs to be worked on. Thank you all so much.

 

[Dar~]

RVCed it.

 

[SeaCat]

Read it and left a comment.

Cat