My first attempt at a Lesbian story

[jon.hayworth]

I have made my first attempt at writing a Lesbian story, and would appreciate some feedback.

It's called "Janey Stuck in a Lift"

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=43855


jon

 

[Impetus]

I love giving feedback on good stories, I always feel like so much less of an ass.

This was a really great story. Very original and very personable. Stuck in an elevator? Perhaps not the most vapidly original concept ever, but it worked well, adding a sense of being personal and cut off from the outside world, a free slice of time with nothing to do but be sexual. Very nice.

I liked the characters too. You did a nice job of developing them. I'm starting to get more and more excited by stories with sexually normal people. It makes it feel less like a fantasy, but sometimes that works in the favor of the story. It certainly did here.

The sex was not that most arousing I've ever read, but that wasn't why I liked the story so much. I liked the story because everything felt personable. Like wood panneling. It felt like something normal, something real. Like I should run right quick down the way and help these poor ladies out of the elevator. It made the sex less 'unrealisticly intense' but definitely more fun to read.

Awesome story, top notch, great stuff.

-I