My eyes! My eyes!

[cheerful_deviant]

So I'm driving home from work today and it's about 95 degrees here. I'm about a half a mile from home driving thru a fairly affluent section of an already pretty affluent town and I see it; an older gentleman out mowing his lawn. He looked to be maybe 70 years old or so, mostly bald but pretty fit and well tanned. He was wearing a pair of comfortable looking black orthopedic shoes, black knee socks.... and a bright blue speedo.

That image is forever burned into my memory.

 

[CharleyH]

So I'm driving home from work today and it's about 95 degrees here. I'm about a half a mile from home driving thru a fairly affluent section of an already pretty affluent town and I see it; an older gentleman out mowing his lawn. He looked to be maybe 70 years old or so, mostly bald but pretty fit and well tanned. He was wearing a pair of comfortable looking black orthopedic shoes, black knee socks.... and a bright blue speedo.

That image is forever burned into my memory.

ROFL - OH YOU WILL be there one day

 

[Guest]

may the force be with you...

its ok, we'll still love ya.

 

[variable Xy]

ick haha... i have worse one. last summer my mother then 56 and her new husband stayed with me while they vacationed. it was hot for seattle and no one has ac here so we all the bedroom doors are open to let a piss warm breeze circulate through house. any way, i went to my den, and passed my bedroom along the way and saw my mother bent over my bed with her hub banging away at her doing her doggy-style. minutes later i'm trying to burn the vision from my eyes, my mother walks in and tells me she has to wash my sheets... giggles and walks away.

:spew:

we need a spew emoticon

 

[CharleyH]

may the force be with you...

its ok, we'll still love ya.

hmf, Orgie married girls . Preferably my force? I still love you too! Devilishly.


YA RIGHT - you two can handle moi!

EDIT: SAD DAY - message not for me - lol

 

[SeaCat]

LOLOL You need to visit some of the beaches down here during the winter. There are some scary people out there.

Cat

 

[OhMissScarlett]

ick haha... i have worse one. last summer my mother then 56 and her new husband stayed with me while they vacationed. it was hot for seattle and no one has ac here so we all the bedroom doors are open to let a piss warm breeze circulate through house. any way, i went to my den, and passed my bedroom along the way and saw my mother bent over my bed with her hub banging away at her doing her doggy-style. minutes later i'm trying to burn the vision from my eyes, my mother walks in and tells me she has to wash my sheets... giggles and walks away.

:spew:

we need a spew emoticon

I'd send them the bill for my therapy.

 

[rgraham666]

Couple of years ago, hot summer in TO.

I'm walking south. Three hundred pound man, shirtless, heading north. About half his weight was in his gut as it literally hung to his knees.

Christ, I'm glad I have a strong stomach.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

hmf, Orgie married girls . Preferably my force? I still love you too! Devilishly.


YA RIGHT - you two can handle moi!

EDIT: SAD DAY - message not for me - lol

Our love for you, nutcase, cannot be bound. *snicker*



And yes, the nutcase reference was intentional. Only for you, though. The Queen of all Squirrels.

 

[SeaCat]

Last year my wife and I decided to head off to one of our favorite beaches. The weather ws perfect, nice and warm with no wind. (I hate getting sandblasted.) We pull into the parking lot and unload our odds and ends with the intention of enjoying the beach. Unfortunately we didn't notice the two large tour buses. (This beach is usually deserted during the weekdays so we can get in a bit of illegal but enjoyable nude sunbathing.)

We stroll down to the beach and stop shocked at what we see. As far as the eye can see on the beach are large hirsute creatures wearing tight bikini style bathing suits, both male and female. (We later determined they were humans.) Now when I say hirsure I'm saying you could have made a lot of money braiding their backs. Yikes!

Cat

 

[Guest]

i am still trying to shake off an image i saw on the cape.
we were having brunch at an outside cafe and it was warm enough to be sweating in the sun...i spied a man wearing what i thought was a rather plush sweater. i nudged lucky..."tell me that's a sweater." we peered over at this man, trying hard to figure it out. when he turned and i saw his nipples ....well...i was stunned! that was no sweater, that was hair! my eyes bruned and my astonishment knew no bounds. i could have easily pretended that i never saw that... honest...but he kept turning up thoughout the day, burning his hair/sweater covered torso into my memory so indelibly that i will never forget it.
i kept wanting to run up to him with a bic razor... "please let me shave you."

 

[cheerful_deviant]

i am still trying to shake off an image i saw on the cape.
we were having brunch at an outside cafe and it was warm enough to be sweating in the sun...i spied a man wearing what i thought was a rather plush sweater. i nudged lucky..."tell me that's a sweater." we peered over at this man, trying hard to figure it out. when he turned and i saw his nipples ....well...i was stunned! that was no sweater, that was hair! my eyes bruned and my astonishment knew no bounds. i could have easily pretended that i never saw that... honest...but he kept turning up thoughout the day, burning his hair/sweater covered torso into my memory so indelibly that i will never forget it.
i kept wanting to run up to him with a bic razor... "please let me shave you."

Forget the bic, get out the hedge clippers.

You have to wonder, does he just not care that he looks like a yeti, or does he think it looks cool?

 

[minsue]

i am still trying to shake off an image i saw on the cape.
we were having brunch at an outside cafe and it was warm enough to be sweating in the sun...i spied a man wearing what i thought was a rather plush sweater. i nudged lucky..."tell me that's a sweater." we peered over at this man, trying hard to figure it out. when he turned and i saw his nipples ....well...i was stunned! that was no sweater, that was hair! my eyes bruned and my astonishment knew no bounds. i could have easily pretended that i never saw that... honest...but he kept turning up thoughout the day, burning his hair/sweater covered torso into my memory so indelibly that i will never forget it.
i kept wanting to run up to him with a bic razor... "please let me shave you."

And you were so kind to point him out to the rest of us while we were trying to eat breakfast, if I recall....

 

[Svenskaflicka]

In the words of the Swedish stand-up comedian Lennie Norman:

"I don't know what is more ridiculous; a 2-year-old girl with a bikini top, or a 65-year-old woman without a bikini top..?"

In an article the other day, I read that some people think Kelly Osbourne is too fat. That woman weighs less than my ideal weight!!!

This is why women don't like the summer. We work out like we're insane all year through to squeeze into a tiny bikini and head out to the beach, looking good for all the fat, hairy, dough-like men in their ugly speedos or bermudas.
No more, I tell ya!
We demand diets and work outs and psychological terror for men, too! To even out the odds, this summer I'm gonna stuff myself with icecream and soda, and shout "hide your tits!" to all the not-perfectly-athletic men on the beach.

It's a cruel world, babe.

 

[oggbashan]

Sagging

About half an hour ago a married couple in their 70s walked past on the sea front.

He looked reasonable apart from his tartan shorts and spindly legs.

She was wearing jersey baby blue shorts with the waistband hidden under the rolls of flesh around her midriff. Her breasts were larger than his head and drooping lower than her shorts' waistband. She was not wearing a bra.

As she walked her breasts swung like heavy pendulums straining the material of her v-necked T-shirt. Why was she wearing a V-neck? Her cleavage was so far down her body it would take an archaeologist to find it, and only an archaeologist would be interested.

She must have felt uncomfortable and unbalanced with all the weight swinging around her middle. If only she could see herself...

Their dog looked like the dog's mistress. It was so fat it could hardly walk and its legs seemed splayed out under the strain of its weight.

The three of them walked 30 yards from their car to a bench and sat down, apparently exhausted by the effort. As they sat there three women training for this weekend's race for life jogged past. I wonder if any of those three will look like her in 40 years' time?

Og

 

[McKenna]

I was hiking through the backcountry once and came across this guy sunbathing in the buff. He wasn't hard to look at, though.


Seeing all the different body types on the beaches of Europe really gave me confidence to go topless. There were women there of every shape, size, and age. It felt "natural". I'm not sure I've ever felt so un-selfconscious in my life.

Of course, I don't remember seeing a 70-year old in a speedo. That may have changed my perspective some...

 

[impressive]

Seeing all the different body types on the beaches of Europe really gave me confidence to go topless.

Same in Negril, Jamaica.

 

[rgraham666]

Regarding He Boobies

This as well

 

[McKenna]

Same in Negril, Jamaica.

Let's book a vacation, shall we?

 

[impressive]

Let's book a vacation, shall we?

Our a tour, even! (We could review the world's nude beaches and publish our findings. Well, some of them. )

 

[Guest]

Our a tour, even! (We could review the world's nude beaches and publish our findings. Well, some of them. )

Need a photographer?

 

[cloudy]

Same in Negril, Jamaica.

I'll never forget, on my first trip to Denmark, we were getting ready to walk down to the beach (yes, he lived right on the beach), and I had on my bathing suit, and he says, "But Patricia, if you wear the top, people will think there's something wrong with them!" (talking about my boobs).

I wore the top down to the beach, but then got the nerve up to take it off once we were there.

 

[Guest]

I'll never forget, on my first trip to Denmark, we were getting ready to walk down to the beach (yes, he lived right on the beach), and I had on my bathing suit, and he says, "But Patricia, if you wear the top, people will think there's something wrong with them!" (talking about my boobs).

I wore the top down to the beach, but then got the nerve up to take it off once we were there.

Ted vacationing in wrong place, again!

 

[McKenna]

Our a tour, even! (We could review the world's nude beaches and publish our findings. Well, some of them. )

Ooooh! That might make a good chain story theme!


Maybe Ted would like to do the "illustrations".