My dilemma

[Guest]

Should I or Shouldn't I?

So here is the scoop. I was exclusively involed in longterm (2.5 years) realationship with an Indian male (I refrain from using man here). He one day out of the blue left for india and came back engaged. He has since been married to a girl much to his family's approval. This guy and I have a long history and have share a great deal over the past years. His family was aware of our relationship and hence proceeded hastily with an alliance. This girl, let us call her Anjana, has no idea of what this guy is all about and she is quite naive. The guy, let us call him Prashant, continues to pursue me and we have been intimate since his marriage in January. I have had to rely on friends of mine to get me through this and provide counsel. In my confinding of my past, I have found that one of my friends knows the families involved. He would like very much to tell the families of the ilicit actions of this keralite. I have done my very best to keep him from any adversity. My family has wished to prosecute him on the basis of abuse, harassment and extortion (they would win too). I have done my very best to keep them from proceeding at the detriment to myself.

My question is this...Should I say something to the father in law or not. I have weighed this out many times and I would like some opinions. If I say something (or my friend) to the father in law and disclose the truth to him, they will surely file for annulment and the Nambiar family would be tarnished. However, if I do not say anything, he will continue with this false representation, destroying many people over the years. I believe that truth is the high road in this situation. The truth of this guy and his family should be exposed and the consequences delt with.
Help Please!

 

[bluntforcemama]

Truth! The guy brought the tarnishment upon himself and he must reap what he sows.

 

[Astro]

Do you know the family? Do you like them? If no to either of these questions sue him, tell your friend to spread the word and find a Gentleman who will treat you better.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I agree with telling the truth... even though it would be hurting that poor naive new wife of this... I guess its best she knew what sort of man she married then find out later in the marriage.

 

[desert spike]

As the bare minimum, you cut him off from getting into your sweet spot. He seems to be using you for his pleasure.

To just run off like that and get married then come back to you for fun, well that makes him an asshole in my book. Dump him hard.

Use your conscience to guide whether to disgrace him to his family. Conscience is usually wisest advice you will find, that way you can live with your decision.

 

[Skibum]

Just dump the asshole and have no further contact with him. No need of hurting others just to give him a comeuppance. He'll hang himself, eventually.

 

[Private Vasquez]

didn't someone else do the same story last week?

 

[bluespoke]

?Yoyo?

 

[Calamity Jane]

My family has wished to prosecute him on the basis of abuse, harassment and extortion (they would win too). I have done my very best to keep them from proceeding at the detriment to myself.

This confuses me. Where's the basis for litigation?

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

helo, i am observer here and i observe yayati might be able to help me

Hello,
I am a 27 year old hindu punjabi male in the US from a wealthy family in India. I was lazy and did not educate myself in India, assuming I would work for my father. My wife (3 years although we lived apart for 2.4 years while she studied) has always been unstable emotionally and it got to the point where she could not go 5 hours without screaming, crying, hitting. I know she married me to escape her at that time "horrible parents." I was young and stupid and fell in love. First time I ever had sex was with her, etc. She suddenly became best friends with her parents after and she and the whole relationship changed. The basis of our marriage was not strong at all. I don't think one can get married to run away from something else andbe happy for the long run.
We lived in our house in India and my mother adores her regardless of what went on. The manipulation of my loving mother was an Oscar winning performance. Although she may compare her to an annoying dog in private, in public she couldn't have been "more closer" Even her infidelities were not taken seriously by my mother. When I discovered she had been meeting and being sexual with other men, my mother dismissed it as "it can't be true." When she left for America, indefinately, and left me in India (saying she may/may not come back in 1.5 years - you are free to do what you want for that time) I fell in love with someone else. My father and brothers agreed for divorce. My mother said, absolutely not, go to her in America, and work it out. I thought going to America would be a good opportunity to gain independence and get an education. I also thought that as I got used to America I could explain to my parents I wanted out of the whole situtation and start an independent life for the first time. The problem is financial independence. I lived in a joint family and I was solely dependent on my father's money. Now I am dependent on my inlaws room and board, my fathers tuition payments, and my wife who I do not love but can tolerate so I am not out on the streets. My mother continues to want me to stay with the marriage and any promises of money in a few month are dependent on the fact that I am married. This is killing the person I love who is strong and independent and assumed I would leave this situation. I want to stay in America with my love and get out of the situation but I have no idea how to even begin to convince my parents who control my life financialy until I get a minimal degree (which is 3.5 years) that I want a divorce and to live on my own. They have money, but even though my mother, who is loving and manipulated by my wife to an extreme won't begin to reason. I get angry at the one I love and keeping telling her to give me time - I have to convince my parents. I feel like such a jack ass because she can't understand why I can't break away so quickly because of my parents. I want to get out as quiclky as possible. What is your advice?

 

[Guest]

get a sheep man...it always works for me

 

[SexyChele]

Now, exactly why is it you want to tell the "truth"? It seems to me as though you are looking for possible ways to break up the marriage - and I doubt that will happen. Chances are, the bride will stay married to him, he may (and that's an iffy "may") receive some kind of admonishment, and you will be branded a slut. Who wins? Who loses? You do, ultimately.

I would ask what your reasons are for attempting to expose this man. And I'm still unclear on what, exactly, you would be exposing. That you and he cheated on his wife? Not exactly something I would want spread all over 3 families.

Face up - you are being used for sex. And, you want him to suffer for it. And you want to make an innocent party suffer as well (bride), which blows me away.

Let him go. Move on. Find some one more worthy of your attention.

 

[Siren]

What are these?

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Re: What are these?

India movie story lines?


I think I saw both these scenarios on the Indian TV channel.

Siren, You Slay Me!

This Is Exactly What I Was Thinking