My best friend...

[ezervet]

A couple of months ago, i came out to my best friend, i told him i was bi. He was cool with it. Totally cool with it, we had an awkward guy hug and it was peachy keen.

Anyhoo, time went on, and things were great. Still are to boot. I've started to think that he might be attracted to me. He hasn't like hit on me or anything, not really. But he's been leaving me lots of messages on AIM, that he loves me, he wants me, that kind of thing. its always been like that between us to an extent, kind of joking in high school that he wished i was a girl so that he could just go out with me. lately, he's been even more so about it, like when we're not even talking he'll send me an IM right before he logs off, saying the sort of stuff i said.

He's pretty much the closest friend i've ever had. (hence the coming out to him.) i love him, like a brother. I also know that i'm capable of feeling more than that for him. But i'm not sure i'm brave enough, or dumb enough, to risk throwing away what i have for what could be. on the other hand, there's no gain without risk.

I thought he was straight, but there's plenty of room for doubt, he can get kind of... affectionate when he gets drunk. or when he's not, even. Once he was pretty drunk, and he kind of licked my ear, he denies it, of course.

does this sound like i'm just imagining things? do guys who've just recently come to terms with the fact that they're attracted to men usually do this, fall for their best friends? is this just a total fantasy because i'm hard up at the moment? should i just shrug it off? or do you think its worth pursuing, in some way? because i could totally do this, try and do..something with him. it would be great. amazing, better than great. just thinking about it is..awesome! and, i'm halfway through college and away from him most of the time anyway, so it could be worth it.

advice is of course more than welcome, leave it here, or throw me a pm.

god, it is great to have put this out there. this place rocks.

 

[ethanjones1943]

friend

wish you were in arizona and my friend

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Well I can't say for sure.. what I can say for sure is that this situation sucks.
I fell in love with a friend of mine, and he keeps asking me embarassing questions in the awkwardest moments(for god's sake who asks his friend if he wants to fuck with him??..). Also he is not his usual self around me and gets all cute and stuff. talks like a baby sometimes and he is adorable. The worst thing in my case is that I have no defense for cute people/stuff/whatever.. This is also how I fell in love with him.. He is quite a hit with the ladies and this makes it even harder to make out if he is bi or not. anyway, I kind of totally understand you.. I didn't fall for my best friend, but this guy is quite close to me. Good luck with this. I hope things turn out how you want them to..

 

[ezervet]

The funny thing is..i'm not even sure how i want this to turn out! Whenever i've known close friends who've gotten involved, it goes badly, regardless of who has what kind of genitals. This whole being-bi thing is really kind of a pain in the ass, sometimes.

ah well, at least there's something interesting going on in my life, right?

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Lol we have about the same kind of thinking in this matter
When I fell in love with this guy I thought that being bi is really troublesome. But then I thought that at least it's something different, interesting
My feelings about this are pretty much clear. I want him, but if 90% he is straight I don't want to ruin the friendship cause we have tons of fun together. It's not a friendship that dooesn't mean anything to me.
But if by complete luck he turns out to like me I'd go straight for that. If it went bad, I'd return to the old friendship we shared if he was alright with that. It's a good thing that I don't make enemies out of ex-bf/gfs.

 

[ezervet]

Yeah, i'm not sure how that would work, trying to back to a friendship with someone you became more than friends with. In my observations though, it doesn't work out too well on the average.

By the way, i absolutely love your sig. Whenever i'm talking to my straight friends about gay stuff, i want to say that to them! I think that might tip my hand with regards to the whole being-in-the-closet issue though, eh?

 

[PredatorSmile]

I told a female friend how I felt once, she did not feel the same way. In fact, she had a man. I felt pretty stupid for telling her. I regret it to this day. I wanted to be more than friends with her but the feelings certainly weren't mutual and she did not "see me that way".

 

[gypsywitch]

Just about relationships in general, I'd say the he might need to hear that you understand how hard it is for openly straight guys to explore other options out of fear of being 'caught' or 'stigmatized.' Talking about those kinds of things with him but not about him specifically might loosen him up. He has to trust that he can explore all aspects of himself secretly for a while. And he may never open up all the way to you but the friendship could continue without too much pressure.

 

[Samuelx]

I advise extreme caution. If he is straight and you make a move on him, it could ruin your friendship.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Yeah, i'm not sure how that would work, trying to back to a friendship with someone you became more than friends with. In my observations though, it doesn't work out too well on the average.

By the way, i absolutely love your sig. Whenever i'm talking to my straight friends about gay stuff, i want to say that to them! I think that might tip my hand with regards to the whole being-in-the-closet issue though, eh?

Well it's not really a situation where you have lots of options. I think you should lay back for a while and observe. Or do what I do:
Whenever this guy I'm in love with comes up with phrases like "Do you wanna fuck with me?" or "Do you love me?"(lol he changes to cutsy-lovely if we're alone) I answer in a way that shows two different meanings.
In these specific questions it's:"OF COURSE!!*droooooooool*".
If he said it as a joke, so did I. If not then sooner or later he'll make the move.
What is bad with this situation though is that I haven't told him I'm bi yet. I would like to, but I wouldn't like a change of attitude so I'm just waiting for the right moment.

Thanks I like my signature too XD It's the very thought that made me stop hating myself for liking men. I'm really grateful to this sig *hugs*
And I also think of it when I come out to my friends.