my bad habit

[cymbidia]

I try. Really, honestly, i do try. In every story, in all my personal email, i try to adhere to the universally accepted and acknowledged laws and customs of grammar. I believe in the sanctity of good grammar. I succeed in my professional writing (thank the gods!), scientifically-oriented and scholarly that it is. However, for myself, in my personal and erotic efforts, i fail in my quest to be among the good-grammarians of the world. I fail shamefully. Miserably. Publicly.

My downfall is my quivering eagerness to involve those who will read my words. I want them to feel as i feel, to gasp when i gasp, to suck in a delighted breath just as i do .. and that's when i fail.

Did you see 'em? Did'ja notice those two little ugly dots? They are my downfall, my nemesis, my Achilles heel. I can't seem to write without them.

Here are some recent examples:
(1) And then .. PAIN. Hot and red and explosive. Pain, one butt cheek then the other, and then the first again.

(2) In the end, as always, I begged him to let me cum. Keeping his finger on my clit, he let the cord fall onto my body and .. finally .. told me to cum. I exploded, screaming, writhing, my body a thing of fire and flame, completely out of my control.

(3) "Don't you?" you ask roughly. Words tumble from me then, moanings and pleadings for more, faster, harder, more more more please .. Master, please .. oh please.
~~~~~

O Great Literotica Editors, i beg from you even small pearls of wisdom to help me purge myself of this demon habit!

~self-mocking but serious~
cym

 

[KillerMuffin]

Well, I write them the first time. Then I have a lovely orgasm, clear my head, and edit. I usually pick up a whole bunch of stuff. Missing predicates and a bunch of ellipis (...) marks. I replace them with commas usually. Or if commas don't work, I change the words so that the ellipis have no place. I've gotten less and less dependant on the ellipis.

I think that when an author is writing along, deep inside of the story and caught up in the moment, the ellipis takes on a deeper and heavier meaning than the reader is likely to pick up.

"Oh god, John...you feel so good inside...I love your cock," Marsha panted.

Loses something in the translation.

"Oh God, John," Marsha gasped, writhing. "You feel so good inside." She panted, whining in her throat. "I love your cock."

 

[Whispersecret]

Cym,

Hey there. Whispersecret here. Nice to meetcha.

First, you can't use two periods by themselves. You either use one, three (an ellipsis, as KM mentioned), or four (an ellipsis and a period.)

Second, the best way to cure yourself is to not do it. LOL. Like KM suggested, I think you should write your first draft like you want. Have all the double dots you want. Then, go back when you rewrite and edit them out. There's nothing wrong with ellipses unless you overdo them.

Let me look at your examples. Your first example is fine. In your second example, you could easily substitute commas for the double dots. In your third example, it's fine to use the ellipses where the words trail off and there's a gap between speaking (again, don't overdo it), but the problem I see is that you blundered into dialogue in the midst of your description.

I think it's just a matter of personal opinion as to how many ...'s are TOO many. So, my advice is, again, to write 'em in and edit 'em out.

Best of luck on your writing.

 

[Weird Harold]

First, you can't use two periods by themselves. You either use one, three (an ellipsis, as KM mentioned), or four (an ellipsis and a period.)
...
I think it's just a matter of personal opinion as to how many ...'s are TOO many. So, my advice is, again, to write 'em in and edit 'em out.

I have one thing to add here.

The definition of an ellipsis is "a punctuation mark meaning words have been left out" (described as three dots, three asterisks, or three dashes.)

If you (or your character)haven't left out any words, then an ellipsis is not the correct punctuation.

A pause for thought is not "words left out" but "words being searched for". Either a period or a dash would be the correct punctuation in that case.

As others have said, in your first draft, worry about getting the words down and correct the punctuation later.

 

[Lancelot_Knight]

Ellipses

I suspect what happens is that many writers think that an ellipse is to be used when no words are spoken or little action has taken place. Frequently, there will be dialogue such as this: "Oh, darling . . . . That feels so good . . . Harder, lover . . . There . . . . right there . . . oh, yes, oh, god, yes!"

Many times the writer can substitute some verb for the ellipses. Here would be the way you might re-do the above: "Oh, darling," she whimpered. "That feels so good." Her panting was harsh in the warm silence of the room. She dug her heels into the bed and lifted her pussy. "Harder, lover," she urged him, clawing at his pumping buttocks. "There, right there." She let out a cry of release. "Oh, yes. Oh, god, yes!"

I'm not saying that paragraph is much better. As a matter of fact, it isn't. But at least you get rid of the ellipses.

The other place I see it a lot is at some moment when no action takes place.

Example: She arched her ass . . . Her orgasm exloded . . . tingled from her fingertips, which were clutching the pillow . . . to her toes, which were pointed and trembling with desire. . . . She held her breath . . . then she gasped with release . . . slumping onto the sweaty sheet.

Most of this would just be a matter of taking out the ellipses altogether.

Example: She arched her ass. For an instant the world forgot to revolve, and loved and fulfilled, she forgot to breath. Her orgasm exploded. It tingled from her fingertips, which were clutching the pillow, to her toes, which were pointed and quivering. She held her breath, then gasped with relief. Glowing, she slumped onto the sweaty sheet.

But your question really isn't, are they necessary. You recognize they are not. Your question is how to prevent yourself from doing it to begin with. That is a much tougher question. I am sure if we all put our heads together we could think up some suitable punishment that would be administered by your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, teacher, boss, cocker spaniel, parrot, cat or handy literotica editor. But into that territory I refuse to delve. Who knows to what dark lengths we might go to prevent your use of the dastardly ellipse?

Lancelot Knight

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Ellipses

Suitable punishment? Dark lengths? Oh my, oh my, what interesting connotations those words conspire to produce.

I'm amused and captivated by the way your mind works. I'll have to go look up your stories now, i suppose. Very effective approach to broadening your reader base.
~grin~
cym