Mutual Cheating?

[Thinkin_About_It]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post, but not my first visit to Literotica. I've been reading stories here for several years, but have never really read the forums. Anyway, I have a question, would like some advice/input, if anyone feels like it.

My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, we're very happy, and we have great communication. He's in the military and has been stationed away from us for the past 16 months. He was home for a month recently, and is due home for good (or as long as the military allows him to be, LOL) in a few more months. We went 11 months without seeing each other.

OK, here is our dilemma.

Neither of us has had sex with anyone else since we started dating. (Yes, I'm certain)

Anyway, our communication has imporved dramatically while he has been gone, and we are considering trying a threesome or a swap. We do not want to get into the swinging scene, just something we'd like to try one time.

I get hot by the thought of my husband fucking another woman, he gets hot at the thought of me with another man.

So, now we have made a tentative agreement. I want him to go fuck another woman, he wants me to go fuck another man. Our deal is:

1. It is a one time thing. Each of us will go have sex with someone else ONCE, and then not again. We will then wait to be together again.

2. We will tell the other person EVERYTHING that happened, as many times as they ask about it. (We anticipate that jealousy issues may arrise afterwards, and we both agree that we have to allow the other party to talk through them in order to work them out.)

3. We have talked it over and said we really don't have any ground rules. We'd both prefer that he didn't cum in her pussy and that I did not allow the guy I choose to cum in mine. We'd also prefer there be no french-kissing, but we both know that is probably not a realistic request, so we are OK with it. We also know that in the heat of the moment, we may not respect the pussy thing, and we are both OK with that. It's a request, not a requirement.

4. We will not see the other person again socially. As in, I go have sex with a man, I cannot then go meet him and hang out with him a week later, whether or not I go to bed with him again.
Same for him, he can not see her socially afterwards.

I think that is about it. Does anyone have any experience with this? A mutual "cheating" arrangement? (We both agree it's not cheating if we have given the other permission to do it) Can someone share how this worked for them? Did it cause problems afterwards? What were the problems? We think we have addressed all the possible problems/concerns that could arise, but we'd like others input, and perhaps that will bring up issues we have not thought about.

Thanks for any help/advise

 

[sortacurious]

hmmmm. I'll have to think on how I'd feel and get back to you. I wish you luck with making this fantasy come true for each other.

 

[DevilBoy79]

tough one, all i know is nothing would make me cheat or want to share my S.O with anyone else, i know she feels the same way, Just wait for him to come home, like you been doing,

 

[tonitits]

In my opinion it would be better to wait until he gets back and then ya find another man and have the 3some, with him there to see what goes on with the other man, and then the same with the other woman. Then ya can share the experience and be part of it. Also when fucking the other person, the man should wear a condom and your husband should when fucking the other woman. Then you don't have to worry about the cumming in the pussy and possibility of unwanted pregnacy or anything else. I don't think I would do the scenario you go out fucking and then he go out fucking... There is always the possiblity of someone liking it too much or getting attached, even though it is supposed to be a one night stand. Ya have waited this long, I think I would wait a little longer.

 

[dankei]

One time not likely

If you have sex with another man before your husband is transferred home the chances of it being a one time thing are slim to none. If you happen to meet a man whom later you discover that you just don't like and the sex with him is terrible then you probably won't see him again. But if you really like him and the sex is fabulous you most likely will fuck that guy again and again and again. Once the flood gates are open...

Another probability is that if the first man is terrible in bed you will feel cheated that your one time chance was so unenjoyable and you will convince yourself that it wasn't really fair and you will most likely find another man to have your one time fling with... and then another.

If you really want to do this "for each other" then wait until he come home and the two of you pursue another couple like yourselves, preferably who live a prohibitive distance away, and meet them as a couple and then swap partners and take off on individual dates. Agree to meet for lunch or dinner as a foursome the next day where you can swap back to your original partners and then enjoy a nice dinner and conversation with them as couple to couple. Then take your husband home and begin telling and hearing all.

Or better yet have sex as a foursome. You said that you wanted to see your husband fuck another woman and he wants to see you fuck another man. If you do this while he is still away your fantasies will not come true.

 

[ShiningEyes]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post, but not my first visit to Literotica. I've been reading stories here for several years, but have never really read the forums. Anyway, I have a question, would like some advice/input, if anyone feels like it.

My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, we're very happy, and we have great communication. He's in the military and has been stationed away from us for the past 16 months. He was home for a month recently, and is due home for good (or as long as the military allows him to be, LOL) in a few more months. We went 11 months without seeing each other.

OK, here is our dilemma.

Neither of us has had sex with anyone else since we started dating. (Yes, I'm certain)

Anyway, our communication has imporved dramatically while he has been gone, and we are considering trying a threesome or a swap. We do not want to get into the swinging scene, just something we'd like to try one time.

I get hot by the thought of my husband fucking another woman, he gets hot at the thought of me with another man.

So, now we have made a tentative agreement. I want him to go fuck another woman, he wants me to go fuck another man. Our deal is:

1. It is a one time thing. Each of us will go have sex with someone else ONCE, and then not again. We will then wait to be together again.

2. We will tell the other person EVERYTHING that happened, as many times as they ask about it. (We anticipate that jealousy issues may arrise afterwards, and we both agree that we have to allow the other party to talk through them in order to work them out.)

3. We have talked it over and said we really don't have any ground rules. We'd both prefer that he didn't cum in her pussy and that I did not allow the guy I choose to cum in mine. We'd also prefer there be no french-kissing, but we both know that is probably not a realistic request, so we are OK with it. We also know that in the heat of the moment, we may not respect the pussy thing, and we are both OK with that. It's a request, not a requirement.

4. We will not see the other person again socially. As in, I go have sex with a man, I cannot then go meet him and hang out with him a week later, whether or not I go to bed with him again.
Same for him, he can not see her socially afterwards.

I think that is about it. Does anyone have any experience with this? A mutual "cheating" arrangement? (We both agree it's not cheating if we have given the other permission to do it) Can someone share how this worked for them? Did it cause problems afterwards? What were the problems? We think we have addressed all the possible problems/concerns that could arise, but we'd like others input, and perhaps that will bring up issues we have not thought about.

Thanks for any help/advise

Hmmmmm.....I would consider it if it's MUTUAL and MUTUAL only.


I agreed to a 3 sum a while back with my ex and bestfriend. It was my ex's idea totally. Told him I wasn't doing it unless he wanted to do it and it had to be his idea. He thought it up and he wanted it. a week later he was pissed with me and told me that he hadn't agreed to it and tole me I could keep my bestfriend. *sighs* Such as life. I don't feel bad at all about it because HE did it. HE thought it up and everything.

After talking to my partner and understanding that it's what WE both want, I would consider it. Depending on how I cared for my partner. Good luck in making your fantasy a reality!

 

[mbb308]

Thinkin's proposal

There is just something in this arrangement that doesn't feel right in my gut, and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe the 4-some is the best approach, but not the double-double, if that makes sense. Perhaps some more time spent in the planning and consideration of the consequences....

I would advise against acting on this right away - but do what you like. Its your call....

 

[porphry]

If it's consensual, where's the "cheating" come in......???

 

[onyx62]

Hello Thinkin,

Here is what happened with my girlfriend and myself. We had decided to try the 3 some thing and let her sleep with someone else on the grounds that I would be able to do the same.

Well, after all is said and done (all this happened in the fall of last year), she has had her fun and fantasy lived out. The deal was to have her with 2 men and then try me with 2 women, finally, each on a one on one basis with someone else.

I am still waiting for the 3some with 2 women and the one on one. The problem in what you and your boyfriend are proposing is that although you will be able to find what you want with ease, he may not. It will always be easier for a girl to find sex when she wants it than will a guy.

Also, I can guarantee that there will be jealous feelings afterwards. How long it lasts will be determined on how adult both of you are. I did not let my jealousy get the best of me and after a short period of time, got over it. These are some things that I definately believe that you should look into before getting into anything.

Onyx

 

[mritsme]

nn

My wife and i often discuss threesomes and stuff it turns us on and said one day maybe i think it would be fun, though we have not tried it yet cause of what could happen to feelings.

Now she also tells me that i can go out and do what i want with who i want and i tell her the same thing but i do not cuase she refuses to and if i did it it is determined to cause probs so i think i wait tell when we both find someone or a couple we both want and try it so it is mutual grounds.

Me personally lot of stuff i want to try in my life and hopefully will.
but you should do it mutually together that way your on same page and you can do it together or if one wants to back out than it is ok.

Although my wife says i can do what i want since she refuses to go do what ever she wants it is to much pressure and guilt. i will feel better when we do it together and ok with it.

 

[pinklipstick]

They say with murder, the first time that is the hardest. After that it becomes easy. I've always viewed fidelity like that: once you do it, doing it again becomes very easy.

Not that a condone the swinging lifestyle. But I would wonder if you really have considered the emotional impact this will have on your marriage. I completely agree with dankei that there will be a lot of rationalizing going on. And you will probably never again be able to say:

Neither of us has had sex with anyone else since we started dating. (Yes, I'm certain)

If it ends up being fabulous for both of you, are you prepared you and your partner's need to explore further? Although I would never judge you for either doing it or not doing it, I think the expectation of you doing it only once is unrealistic. Especially if you start before he comes back.

 

[Thinkin_About_It]

tough one, all i know is nothing would make me cheat or want to share my S.O with anyone else, i know she feels the same way, Just wait for him to come home, like you been doing,

Thanks for responding, Devil, we appreciate it

 

[Thinkin_About_It]

In my opinion it would be better to wait until he gets back and then ya find another man and have the 3some, with him there to see what goes on with the other man, and then the same with the other woman. Then ya can share the experience and be part of it. Also when fucking the other person, the man should wear a condom and your husband should when fucking the other woman. Then you don't have to worry about the cumming in the pussy and possibility of unwanted pregnacy or anything else. I don't think I would do the scenario you go out fucking and then he go out fucking... There is always the possiblity of someone liking it too much or getting attached, even though it is supposed to be a one night stand. Ya have waited this long, I think I would wait a little longer.

Tonitis, thank you for your thoughts. I didn't think about it when I made the OP, but the condom is a definite rule, no matter whether we do this now, or do some 3somes when he gets back.

 

[Thinkin_About_It]

Tonitis, thank you for your thoughts. I didn't think about it when I made the OP, but the condom is a definite rule, no matter whether we do this now, or do some 3somes when he gets back.

UGH! I was trying to say, I didn't post it, but the condom is a rule, period. We didn't really any have to do any discussion on that, both of us are adament that a condom will be used with any other partners we may have, now or in the future.

 

[Thinkin_About_It]

Re: One time not likely

If you have sex with another man before your husband is transferred home the chances of it being a one time thing are slim to none. If you happen to meet a man whom later you discover that you just don't like and the sex with him is terrible then you probably won't see him again. But if you really like him and the sex is fabulous you most likely will fuck that guy again and again and again. Once the flood gates are open...

We have discussed this extensively, and both of us agree this won't happen, but we also agree that if by chance we want to repeat the encounter, we will discuss it first. I know, you are thinking, yeah right, there won't be any discussing, it'll just happen; we have reached the level in our relationship that we can talk about anything, and if this happens, we will deal with it as best we can.

Another probability is that if the first man is terrible in bed you will feel cheated that your one time chance was so unenjoyable and you will convince yourself that it wasn't really fair and you will most likely find another man to have your one time fling with... and then another.

Well, Dankei, LOL, here's the honest truth on this one.....my hubby is the only man who has ever given me an orgasm during actual fucking. He is also the only man to totally place my enjoyment above his own at all times. (Poor man, he's been doing this for 6 years, I'm tyring to convince him that every once in a while, it's OK if he doesn't make me cum.) I spent a couple of years looking for great sex, had many one nighters, and many longer "affairs" (I was single at the time), and I only found it after I married my husband. For me, for the sex to be great, there has to be more than just sex. I mean, I enjoy "just sex", but I want more, and I have more, with my husband and no other. So, I do not *think* that I well be tempted to pursue great sex with yet another partner after the first one, because I am not going into this expecting great sex. I already know my husband is the best lover in the world.

If you really want to do this "for each other" then wait until he come home and the two of you pursue another couple like yourselves, preferably who live a prohibitive distance away, and meet them as a couple and then swap partners and take off on individual dates. Agree to meet for lunch or dinner as a foursome the next day where you can swap back to your original partners and then enjoy a nice dinner and conversation with them as couple to couple. Then take your husband home and begin telling and hearing all.

We both agreed we cannot/will not do it that way. If we are going to do it, it will have to happen now, or it won't happen at all.

Or better yet have sex as a foursome. You said that you wanted to see your husband fuck another woman and he wants to see you fuck another man. If you do this while he is still away your fantasies will not come true.

We plan to have the 3somes at some point after we are back together again, but I do not want a 4some (haven't figured out why).

I appreciate the time you took to respond honestly, and I think you have very valid concerns. My husband is also watching this thread and we are discussing every response. Thank you again, it is much appreciated.

 

[Thinkin_About_It]

Re: Re: Mutual Cheating?

Hmmmmm.....I would consider it if it's MUTUAL and MUTUAL only.


I agreed to a 3 sum a while back with my ex and bestfriend. It was my ex's idea totally. Told him I wasn't doing it unless he wanted to do it and it had to be his idea. He thought it up and he wanted it. a week later he was pissed with me and told me that he hadn't agreed to it and tole me I could keep my bestfriend. *sighs* Such as life. I don't feel bad at all about it because HE did it. HE thought it up and everything.

After talking to my partner and understanding that it's what WE both want, I would consider it. Depending on how I cared for my partner. Good luck in making your fantasy a reality!

Hi ShiningEyes,
Thank you for sharing your experience with something like this. It is definitely mutual, and it is agreed by both that either one can say no at any point, and the other will not get angry. I would have no problem if he ended up with a woman first and then after he'd fucked her decided he didn't want me to fuck another man. That would be the end of it. We don't feel "fair" comes into play with this issue, because we have to allow the other complete control over what we do, if that makes any sense. We know this will come up again and again in the future and our "deal" is that we will talk about it at any time, with no restrictions. We have been through a lot in our relationship, and we both feel this is something that will not hurt our marriage. Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[CarolinaBabe]

Well, here's my two cents, after reading your posts, you seem to have exactly what you need for a great sex life..... your hubby pleases you in everyway it seems......so why the need for more?

I have been married for almost 18 years. I have never cheated on my hubby and although I can not say for certain(not believing that anyone can) that he has not, I'm not aware of any straying on his part. And we have talked very often about having sex with other people... me with another guy/woman, him with another woman..... It turns us on to talk about such things.... but taking that first step is an awfully big leap. And once taken, you can never step back. Things will be forever changed... it could be good or it could be a nightmare. Personally, I don't think I could ever take that step....I believe if I'm happy as things are.... then so be it.....Playing is one thing, reality can bite. Really consider the options and consequences well....and I wish the best for you in your final decision... And btw.... my hubby was military too.... and I know how tough those separations can be...