DRxBlue
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2002
- Posts
- 891
So do y'all remember the battle between the CWA (Concerned Women for America) and the lifestylers putting on the "Beat Me In St. Louis" convention at Howard Johnson's?
Well...all the publicity actually drove attendance up significantly.
i've attached a satirical article written by Count Vronsky, one of the leaders of my home based BDSM group. (if you'd like to know more, PM me. i'm very proud to be a member)
As i write, it's May 17th and getting close to freezing outside in Northern Minnesota. We've had no Spring at all. Here is the Count's explanation for this phenomenon:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cold Spring Weather Explained
The oddly cold spring weather we've been experiencing lately was explained earlier this week when it was revealed that the Concerned Women for America had launched a campaign to stop summer. Hundreds of letters, emails, and faxes have been pouring into Mother Nature's office in an effort to try and prevent this season of "lust and bared flesh".
"Every year we have the same thing happen," said Peter LaBarbarossa of CWA. "Summer comes, the temperatures rise, and people start taking clothes off. Everywhere you look, nubile young women are exposing their tender young flesh for everyone to see. We must act now to protect the youth of America from such sexual tempation. We consider 60 degrees and below to be a good Christian temperature."
It's unclear as of yet whether Mother Nature will continue to give into the pressure and cancel summer, though she seems to have at least postponed it. Mother Nature was unavailable for comment, however spokesperson Jack Frost commented, "We have three other seasons we need to support. We can't afford to have them all boycotted. What would we do for weather?"
The CWA cited other concerns regarding summer. "Summer only encourages indecent acts like skinny dipping, sex in public outdoor areas, and wet T-Shirt contests, not to mention the things that take place at a drive-in movie theater. And don't forget that in the summer many people go around barefoot. That's only encouraging people with foot fetishes. What if one of those perverts were to see your child running around barefoot?"
In summer's defense, John McTierney, spokesman for the Association of Corn Growers of America said, "Without summer we wouldn't be able to have a growing season and produce food for the country."
LaBarbarossa countered, "That's only obscuring the real issue. What good is food for the body when one's soul is morally starved? It's obvious that summer is a threat to the moral well being of America's youth and has been for years. It's about time we put a stop to this source of societal decay. We're here to protect American families and clearly anyone who condones summer is anti-children."
Dave Johnston of the National Weather Service said, "Dude, it's just the weather."
Currently CWA is hoping Mother Nature will see things their way and cooperate. "If not, we're prepared to go to Congress and lobby for legislation that will force Mother Nature to comply."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All the standard disclaimer stuff applies, quotes and characters are used purely for satirical purposes. Article reprinted with the author's very gracious permission."
Hope you liked it as much as i did,
Well...all the publicity actually drove attendance up significantly.
i've attached a satirical article written by Count Vronsky, one of the leaders of my home based BDSM group. (if you'd like to know more, PM me. i'm very proud to be a member)
As i write, it's May 17th and getting close to freezing outside in Northern Minnesota. We've had no Spring at all. Here is the Count's explanation for this phenomenon:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cold Spring Weather Explained
The oddly cold spring weather we've been experiencing lately was explained earlier this week when it was revealed that the Concerned Women for America had launched a campaign to stop summer. Hundreds of letters, emails, and faxes have been pouring into Mother Nature's office in an effort to try and prevent this season of "lust and bared flesh".
"Every year we have the same thing happen," said Peter LaBarbarossa of CWA. "Summer comes, the temperatures rise, and people start taking clothes off. Everywhere you look, nubile young women are exposing their tender young flesh for everyone to see. We must act now to protect the youth of America from such sexual tempation. We consider 60 degrees and below to be a good Christian temperature."
It's unclear as of yet whether Mother Nature will continue to give into the pressure and cancel summer, though she seems to have at least postponed it. Mother Nature was unavailable for comment, however spokesperson Jack Frost commented, "We have three other seasons we need to support. We can't afford to have them all boycotted. What would we do for weather?"
The CWA cited other concerns regarding summer. "Summer only encourages indecent acts like skinny dipping, sex in public outdoor areas, and wet T-Shirt contests, not to mention the things that take place at a drive-in movie theater. And don't forget that in the summer many people go around barefoot. That's only encouraging people with foot fetishes. What if one of those perverts were to see your child running around barefoot?"
In summer's defense, John McTierney, spokesman for the Association of Corn Growers of America said, "Without summer we wouldn't be able to have a growing season and produce food for the country."
LaBarbarossa countered, "That's only obscuring the real issue. What good is food for the body when one's soul is morally starved? It's obvious that summer is a threat to the moral well being of America's youth and has been for years. It's about time we put a stop to this source of societal decay. We're here to protect American families and clearly anyone who condones summer is anti-children."
Dave Johnston of the National Weather Service said, "Dude, it's just the weather."
Currently CWA is hoping Mother Nature will see things their way and cooperate. "If not, we're prepared to go to Congress and lobby for legislation that will force Mother Nature to comply."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All the standard disclaimer stuff applies, quotes and characters are used purely for satirical purposes. Article reprinted with the author's very gracious permission."
Hope you liked it as much as i did,
