Musings

[Expertise]

In a really weird mood this afternoon. Maybe it was the Kabob I had for lunch. This is gonna' be Sparky-esque stream of consciousness bullshit so be forewarned and forearmed.

Do chinese people get take out American?

Is Deborah real? And if so, why is she so pissed all the time.

Why is that most of the truly bad drivers on the road are auto racing enthusiasts in fact fancying themselves NASCAR drivers?

My coke can pile has reached 26, does that make it abusive or an environmental hazard?

Are the tastier muscles with the orange flesh, as opposed to the grey/beige, male or female?

Why does everyone find that Jennifer Love Hewitt chick attractive?

I miss marijuana.

Is Sparky tanked on bourbon? I suspect hes a Wild Turkey guy. I imagine him hanging out with Lee Marvin and Mickey Rourke beating up tax attorneys in New York saloons.

Is Carl really that big? Or could it be the cameras perspective? I hope it was perspective.

I am tremendously horny as a matter of course.

Will ska music ever make a comeback?

Was Monica Lewinsky a good fuck?

Who on this board would be dangerous in a streetfight?

Do Altoids make blow jobs that much better?

This concludes my weirdness for the day.

 

[Alyrahh]

LOL! I'm getting the distinct feeling that you may very well miss marijuana, but it doesn't seem to have lost it's effect on you!

 

[April]

Why do I hate Pink Floyd so much?

Why does my email dribble in throughout the day instead of all at once?

Why do all the people I really want to hang out with live nowhere near me?

Why is it that when I want to talk, there's no one there, but when I don't want to talk, I can't be alone?

Can I have someone else's life for a little while?

 

[Silverlily]

Maybe it was the Kabob I had for lunch.
Is that want happened to Bobert? (Hey, you ain't the only one in weird mood today, smoochies)

Is Deborah real? And if so, why is she so pissed all the time.
Of course she is. I don't think she's pissed of all the time, just when she has to deal with silly men. Oh wait, that would be all the time.

My coke can pile has reached 26, does that make it abusive or an environmental hazard?
Evironmental hazard, I've already called the HAZMAT team.

I am tremendously horny as a matter of course.
You live where?

Will ska music ever make a comeback?
God, I hope not.

Who on this board would be dangerous in a streetfight?
You just might be surprised.

This concludes my weirdness for the day.
Tune in next time for another episode of the Bored and the Silly.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Nobody's gonna answer all these but....

My bet is that Monica is outstanding, wet, deep and nasty nymphet.

And relative to that, constant horniess and topics we've agreed on before - I noticed last eve, making my bi-weekly drive back up to NYC from DC (Man can anyone hate that I-95 corridor more than I?) actually I've noticed it before but never thought worth mentioning (hah, maybe still) - that I have, and always have had, "babe'dar" - radar for babes.

I can be doin' 80mph (no I don't pretend to be a NASCAR driver) - I'm bored, I turn my head, left - right, my peripheral vision is great - a flash catches my eye - I look over - a babe. I drive on - a flash of something (sex?) - I look - a babe. It rarely fails. The hits to misses are 8 to 10 at least.

Same when I'm just walking around too. It's uncanny!! Babe'dar.

You got it too?

 

[SimplySouthern]

Just FYI, I don't fancy myself a Mike Tyson-esqye type woman, but it would be safe to say that I would be dangerous in any type of fight.

Win if you can, lose if you must, but cheat by all means.

Just cause it's a fight, doesn't mean it's a fair fight.

 

[CreamyLady]

Why does the word "family" feel so much like "straightjacket?"

Why do I look so stupid when I wear my glasses?

When will Expertise's coworker be moved to homicidal rage?

Why aren't I making a point of filling up my sketchbook, and working on the pastel drawing of the pepper tree, instead of typing meaningless questions on this board?

Why am I going to have to take photography? I hate photography.

Ditto math.

Finally, when I finally do Carl's portrait, will I have to use a wall sized canvas?

 

[Expertise]

Babe dar is way too often on the fritz. Maybe thats why I dont get little Ms. Hewitt. In fact the track option/IFF of my set seems to be defective. I have been driving by this woman on my way home from work she has always been walking away from me. She has an incredible ass and this gorgeous blonde curly hair but once I drive past her to where I can see her face she is .... fuckit she is hideous. Yet time and again I look. Found out this weekend that two of my freinds have been doing exactly the same thing with the same woman, weird.

Combatants in street fights who observe Marquise of Queensbury rules mostly end up seriously injured. Fuck fair, fight to win.

I love "The Wall", I detest the rest. Maybe i'm too commercial.

I think Monica would be "sloppy" which can be a good thing, but not in her case.

I still miss marijuana.

BobToad is just young. Cut him a little slack or give him tough love. Fuck it hes on his own. I'll buy him a large triple/triple and check for a wind tunnel tested "do"

My April, the grass isn't always greener.

I actually imagine Deborah with big shoulders, but a heart of gold beyond the gruffness.

If it can happen to Disco anything is possible.

Coke cans are not on our WHMIS list.

I love Bob Marlie and Jimmy Buffet

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I'm so jealous!!!!!

So, freakin' jealous of Jimmy Buffet - read his last book and what a fuckin' life!!!!! I want it.

 

[Purple Haze]

Expertise, I've got some really good bud.

 

[Expertise]

Sparky my friend, join the club.

Can you make "boat drinks" with Wild Turkey?

Will coke can stacks survive a rough water landing in a Seaplane?

Do drink parasols stay anchored if you use crushed ice?

How stoned can you be and still execute a proper roll cast to a Bonefish on the flats?

Where the fuck is that shaker of salt!?

 

[Mustang Sally]

Are the tastier muscles with the orange flesh, as opposed to the grey/beige, male or female?

I had to read this over and over before I figured out what the hell you're talking about. I think you mean "mussels", Exp. *shudder*

Why does the Mennonite church have such a large parking lot?

If the 7-11 is open 24, 7, why are there locks on the door? (I didn't make that one up)

BobToad is just young. Cut him a little slack or give him tough love.

Didn't he say he's 25? At what age exactly should someone be mature enough to handle their own problems with a modicum of dignity?

Along those lines, I wish my family would realize I'm a big girl now, capable of making my own decisions, etc. I mean, I'm almost 23. I've lived on my own. I have a college diploma. If I wanna move to the Big City, what's the big deal?

Why are stupid people allowed to procreate?

 

[wolfie69]

why is it called a parkway when you drive on it and a driveway when you park on it?

 

[Always]

THE ANSWER LADY!!!

I'm here to answer all the stupid questions and ask a few of my own.



Do chinese people get take out American?

why not?


Why is that most of the truly bad drivers on the road are auto racing enthusiasts in fact fancying themselves NASCAR drivers?

karma

My coke can pile has reached 26, does that make it abusive or an environmental hazard?

drink PEPSI!!!


I miss marijuana.

we all do, Expietease, we all do.

Is Sparky tanked on bourbon? I suspect hes a Wild Turkey guy. I imagine him hanging out with Lee Marvin and Mickey Rourke beating
up tax attorneys in New York saloons.

I don't know what he's on but I want some.

Is Carl really that big? Or could it be the cameras perspective? I hope it was perspective.

me too.

I am tremendously horny as a matter of course.

stop touching yourself! save some for me!


Will ska music ever make a comeback?

GODS i hope not!

Was Monica Lewinsky a good fuck?

um...

Who on this board would be dangerous in a streetfight?

*just smiles* oh, I'm not at liberty to discuss that...

Do Altoids make blow jobs that much better?


what?



Why do I hate Pink Floyd so much?

you're weird?

Why does my email dribble in throughout the day instead of all at once?

more karma!

Why do all the people I really want to hang out with live nowhere near me?

lots more karma!

Why is it that when I want to talk, there's no one there, but when I don't want to talk, I can't be alone?

yet again, the answer to everything is karma...

Can I have someone else's life for a little while?

sure... when can we switch?
__________________





Why does the word "family" feel so much like "straightjacket?"

hmmm... perfect analogy!

Why do I look so stupid when I wear my glasses?

we all do!
When will Expertise's coworker be moved to homicidal rage?

you really think I even want to know?

Why aren't I making a point of filling up my sketchbook, and working on the pastel drawing of the pepper tree, instead of typing
meaningless questions on this board?

because these meaningless questions are driving you totally fucking crazy?
Why am I going to have to take photography? I hate photography.

ummm... karma!

Ditto math.
see above

Finally, when I finally do Carl's portrait, will I have to use a wall sized canvas?


probably...


Expertise, I've got some really good bud.

huh? where? *sniffing the air* gods i hope that's not just someone running over a skunk...



Can you make "boat drinks" with Wild Turkey?

i dunno, but i'll try!

Will coke can stacks survive a rough water landing in a Seaplane?

no... but PEPSI cans will!

Do drink parasols stay anchored if you use crushed ice?

*stumped*

How stoned can you be and still execute a proper roll cast to a Bonefish on the flats?

hmmm... maybe about 10 hits of you're a lightweight

Where the fuck is that shaker of salt!?

*points* on the desk right next to you... __________________


Why does the Mennonite church have such a large parking lot?

*laughing* that is self-explanaotry!

If the 7-11 is open 24, 7, why are there locks on the door? (I didn't make that one up)

because when they first started, they were only open from 7am to 11pm... (that's where they got the name from)

Why are stupid people allowed to procreate?

you got me there...


why is it called a parkway when you drive on it and a driveway when you park on it?

irony is life... wait, that's not right...


okay, here are my own questions:

Why does my cat have to be totally fucking insane?

why do those clicky pens have caps?

why are we addicted to the board?

why doesn't anyone else like Guiness?

why doesn't anyone like me?

why is suicide illegal?

why is homicide illegal?

why do stupid politicians want to make abortion illegal?

why do i shudder when i hear the word, "Disco?"

why do public bathrooms always have the cheap toilet paper?

why do those laundry markers make such good nail poish?

why are roleplyaing games so damned addictive?

what is it about classic rock that makes it so... you know!

why are stupid people allowed to live? (genetic engineering... hmmm...)

why doesn't the entire bottle of sleeping pills ever work?

why doesn't the entire bottle of muscle relaxers ever work?

why do calculators have a + button twice as big as any other button?

why do i have absolutely no love life to speak of?

why is it so depressin to know that suicide doesn't work?

okay... I think that's enough.