http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/488089_194432027337149_100003110592414_334599_1886524963_n.jpg
I am a guitar player in a metal band called "Slavantas" and have been under very close scrutiny of our then-drummer who constantly told me to change my gear because I didn't fit into the mold of what a metal guitarist should use, I thought it over and we musicians apparently don't give ourselves a break because look at the rules we give ourselves and each other.
For example.
As a Keyboard player:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Keith Emmerson that's enough.
* No solos, see "Not standing out"
* You're the one who provides the entire band with correct pitch and shame on you if you got it wrong.
* You should stay in one spot, like the pianist of yore in a western saloon who just kept on playing regardless of what happened around him.
* You're NEVER allowed to own a keytar because of the "Not standing out" and "stay in one spot" rule.
As a Drummer:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Tommy Lee and we don't need another.
* You're not allowed to come up with songs.
* You're not allowed to sing, who is Levon Helm anyway?
* You only have to keep your kit to a bare minimum: no double kickdrums, no more than one tom and one floor tom and only one cymbal. Hey it worked for Ringo.
* No solos, see "not standing out"
As a brass player:
* NO SOLOS
* There ARE no brass sections in a rock band anyway.
As a Bass player:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Les Claypool and let's keep it that way.
* Four strings only, who in their right mind goes deeper than the low E anyway?
* Your only allowed bass to play is a Fender, either a Precision Bass or a Jazz Bass although the Precision is the preferred one because it only has one pickup.
* Your only allowed amplification is Ampeg, no Hi-fi Hartke or Trace Elliot stacks or growling Hiwatt or Marshall stacks.
* You're NEVER allowed to play fretless, what Rick Danko was doing isn't of our concern.
* You're ABSOLUTELY never allowed to stick your thumb out and slap.
* No solos, certainly not when you have a six string Ken Smith made axe which is fretted for the lower three strings and fretless for the upper three strings. (Sounds crazy but basses like that DO exist)
* You're not allowed to have pedals on the floor, not even a tuner.
And here's the big one and also the most contradictory.
As a guitarist:
* You're supposed to stand out, do poses, have a flashy looking instrument.
* You're NOT supposed to stand out, stay on your designated spot on stage and play a black finished instrument, look at George Harrisson, he didn't hop around on stage like a hummingbird on ten cups of coffee.
* Solos allowed, preferred if they are all written out in advance, you didn't attend MIT for nothing.
* Solos allowed but keep them simple, from the heart, a bum note is no big deal anyway.
* Solos NOT allowed, just keep chuggin' those power chords.
* You're only allowed to use tube amps, solid state just doesn't have the warmth.
* NO high gain but a warm light crunch is allowed.
* You're allowed to have any kind of pedal at your feet, more sounds means more ground the band can cover.
* NO millions of pedals at your feet, the fact that the Wah was invented was bad enough.
* NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS are you allowed to get onstage with a double neck, there's only one Jimmy Page and we don't want another.
* You're only allowed to take one guitar, one only, on stage because having a row of guitars behind you is showing off (See the "Not standing out") and if a string breaks that's your own fault.
I won't even start on the singers...
So suppose if we all would follow those rules, we'd end up with a pretty boring music scene.
And let's be honest, isn't one of the key rules of Rock N Roll to, you know...
BREAK ALL THE RULES?
I am a guitar player in a metal band called "Slavantas" and have been under very close scrutiny of our then-drummer who constantly told me to change my gear because I didn't fit into the mold of what a metal guitarist should use, I thought it over and we musicians apparently don't give ourselves a break because look at the rules we give ourselves and each other.
For example.
As a Keyboard player:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Keith Emmerson that's enough.
* No solos, see "Not standing out"
* You're the one who provides the entire band with correct pitch and shame on you if you got it wrong.
* You should stay in one spot, like the pianist of yore in a western saloon who just kept on playing regardless of what happened around him.
* You're NEVER allowed to own a keytar because of the "Not standing out" and "stay in one spot" rule.
As a Drummer:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Tommy Lee and we don't need another.
* You're not allowed to come up with songs.
* You're not allowed to sing, who is Levon Helm anyway?
* You only have to keep your kit to a bare minimum: no double kickdrums, no more than one tom and one floor tom and only one cymbal. Hey it worked for Ringo.
* No solos, see "not standing out"
As a brass player:
* NO SOLOS
* There ARE no brass sections in a rock band anyway.
As a Bass player:
* You're not supposed to stand out, there's only one Les Claypool and let's keep it that way.
* Four strings only, who in their right mind goes deeper than the low E anyway?
* Your only allowed bass to play is a Fender, either a Precision Bass or a Jazz Bass although the Precision is the preferred one because it only has one pickup.
* Your only allowed amplification is Ampeg, no Hi-fi Hartke or Trace Elliot stacks or growling Hiwatt or Marshall stacks.
* You're NEVER allowed to play fretless, what Rick Danko was doing isn't of our concern.
* You're ABSOLUTELY never allowed to stick your thumb out and slap.
* No solos, certainly not when you have a six string Ken Smith made axe which is fretted for the lower three strings and fretless for the upper three strings. (Sounds crazy but basses like that DO exist)
* You're not allowed to have pedals on the floor, not even a tuner.
And here's the big one and also the most contradictory.
As a guitarist:
* You're supposed to stand out, do poses, have a flashy looking instrument.
* You're NOT supposed to stand out, stay on your designated spot on stage and play a black finished instrument, look at George Harrisson, he didn't hop around on stage like a hummingbird on ten cups of coffee.
* Solos allowed, preferred if they are all written out in advance, you didn't attend MIT for nothing.
* Solos allowed but keep them simple, from the heart, a bum note is no big deal anyway.
* Solos NOT allowed, just keep chuggin' those power chords.
* You're only allowed to use tube amps, solid state just doesn't have the warmth.
* NO high gain but a warm light crunch is allowed.
* You're allowed to have any kind of pedal at your feet, more sounds means more ground the band can cover.
* NO millions of pedals at your feet, the fact that the Wah was invented was bad enough.
* NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS are you allowed to get onstage with a double neck, there's only one Jimmy Page and we don't want another.
* You're only allowed to take one guitar, one only, on stage because having a row of guitars behind you is showing off (See the "Not standing out") and if a string breaks that's your own fault.
I won't even start on the singers...
So suppose if we all would follow those rules, we'd end up with a pretty boring music scene.
And let's be honest, isn't one of the key rules of Rock N Roll to, you know...
BREAK ALL THE RULES?
