Mrs. Cleaver's Beaver

[JohnsonLongwood]

My original thought was erotic fan fiction of the 1950s Leave It To Beaver TV show but I soon realized there are too many under 18 characters.

So the idea has morphed into a behind the scenes story of the actors sexcapades, often in character but not always, in dressing rooms, on set, off camera while scenes are being filmed, etc. So Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell) could be doing Barbara Billingsey (June Cleaver), "Your hair looks so pretty today, Barbara" ...), or Tony Dow (Wally) could be doing Sue Randall (Miss Landers) ("Oh, Wally, you've grown so big and strong"...). Then there are Wally's GF characters, (Mary Ellen Rogers, Julie Foster and the others) who could be doing Ward Cleaver, Fred Rutherford, Gus the fireman... I wonder who Lumpy would pair up with? Mrs. Rutherford (Majel Barrett)?

The background assumption is that the teen high school characters are all played by over 18 actors (of course ).

So many idea and perfect for a series of stories just like the show itself. Any thoughts? Worth pursuing?

 

[Anthonysdaughter]

There is a site that will publish this. This one... Well, this site isn't big on fan fiction. Maybe its seen as being more subject to litigation. It rejected my 'Joanie Loves Chachi' (they graduated from high school, moved to Chicago, and got married in the TV storyline) and my 'Brady Brides' (Marcia and Jan married a 'Felix type' and an 'Oscar type' and shared a house in the TV storyline). Because the characters are "mostly remembered as being underage." Those and more of my fan fiction are up "elsewhere."

 

[gunhilltrain]

There is a site that will publish this. This one... Well, this site isn't big on fan fiction. Maybe its seen as being more subject to litigation. It rejected my 'Joanie Loves Chachi' (they graduated from high school, moved to Chicago, and got married in the TV storyline) and my 'Brady Brides' (Marcia and Jan married a 'Felix type' and an 'Oscar type' and shared a house in the TV storyline). Because the characters are "mostly remembered as being underage." Those and more of my fan fiction are up "elsewhere."

Petticoat Junction has some possibilities. The town was named Hooterville - how did they get away with that? That older lady Kate (the actress was about sixty) is supposed to be a widow, and she might be feeling frisky after a long dry spell. There is more to life than baking pies. But which guy would she get it on with? Maybe Charley Pratt? The actor was actually five years younger than she was, although he died in 1967 before the show was done.

I also imagined a new version where the Cannonball is a one-car Amtrak train kept alive by a powerful senator. But diesels don't need water tanks. But it was kept as an historical monument, and the daughters of the three original chicks frolic it in. I suppose they also listen to punk rock and get involved with drugs, and bring various guys into the tank with them. I guess it's set in the 1980s.

 

[Anthonysdaughter]

Petticoat Junction has some possibilities. The town was named Hooterville - how did they get away with that? That older lady Kate (the actress was about sixty) is supposed to be a widow, and she might be feeling frisky after a long dry spell. There is more to life than baking pies. But which guy would she get it on with? Maybe Charley Pratt? The actor was actually five years younger than she was, although he died in 1967 before the show was done.

I also imagined a new version where the Cannonball is a one-car Amtrak train kept alive by a powerful senator. But diesels don't need water tanks. But it was kept as an historical monument, and the daughters of the three original chicks frolic it in. I suppose they also listen to punk rock and get involved with drugs, and bring various guys into the tank with them. I guess it's set in the 1980s.

Or a preserved railway. An adult oriented tourist attraction in the heart of rural America. No guys or drugs, just plenty o' genuine "white lightning" (moonshine). And guests with "all-access" cards can even frolic in the water tank with the gals.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Or a preserved railway. An adult oriented tourist attraction in the heart of rural America. No guys or drugs, just plenty o' genuine "white lightning" (moonshine). And guests with "all-access" cards can even frolic in the water tank with the gals.

I think by the 1980s there was plenty of pot among young people in rural America. Steve Earle's "Copperhead Road' is about such a guy who grows pot while his dad and grand-dad made moonshine. I'm not a drug expert, so I don't know which other drugs back then were mainly urban and which gotten into the rural areas.

But liquor - that indeed always was and probably always will be a staple of the American "high" scene - everywhere.

Now Steve Earle has "Oxycontin Blues" which may be set in rural Kentucky or Tennessee. And the song mentions meth too.

 

[Hypoxia]

I envisage a sex show with Rin-Tin-Tin doing Lassie, told from their doggy POVs. No humans join in their dogplay. BTW one of the Timmy actors lived across the street from my first elementary school. He was an arrogant turd.

But I digress. AFAIK the LIT rules don't allow for celeb roles as minors to be "aged-up" so The Beaver or Timmy can't be involved in any of this. Now, if Rin-Tin-Tin could talk, he could do Mrs Cleaver on-stage. But she might prefer Mr Ed if she's a size queen.

 

[sirhugs]

I envisage a sex show with Rin-Tin-Tin doing Lassie, told from their doggy POVs. No humans join in their dogplay. BTW one of the Timmy actors lived across the street from my first elementary school. He was an arrogant turd.

But I digress. AFAIK the LIT rules don't allow for celeb roles as minors to be "aged-up" so The Beaver or Timmy can't be involved in any of this. Now, if Rin-Tin-Tin could talk, he could do Mrs Cleaver on-stage. But she might prefer Mr Ed if she's a size queen.

aw, but Lit does not allow bestiality at any age. Otherwise Timmy's Mom would really appreciate that Lassie was actually male. Loved me dome June Lockhart back in the day. And she kept tossing Timmy down the well for a reason.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Ken Osmond passed last year. R.I.P. Eddie Haskell.

 

[JohnsonLongwood]

Ken Osmond passed last year. R.I.P. Eddie Haskell.

You didn't fall for that, Beav, did you? Your parents just want you to believe that so you won't know they're jerking you around.

Indeed, R.I.P.