Most natural & versatile "penis"? (strapon, feeldoe, share...)

[kingface]

I'm a lesbian and I want to buy a strap-on dildo or feeldoe/share for me to use on my partner. I have never purchased a toy before so I need advice on how to choose the right one.

Ever since I started masturbating at age 5 or 6, I have always been turned on by cross dressing and imagining that I had a penis. Since I can't magically grow one, I want the next best thing..something that will allow me to BE the guy during sex (not just imitate) So here is what I'm looking for:

1. Protrudes from a natural angle and is easy to use in a wide variety of positions (ie. anything a hetero couple is able to do)
2. Secure, stays on/in, not wobbly
3. Senstation for the wearer--a tight harness or something that provides clitoral pressure (vaginal/g-spot stimulation is nice as well)

I'm really into the idea of a "strapless strap-on" like the feeldoe or share, but I don't want to buy it if I constantly have to use my hands or thighs to keep it from falling out. That would severely limit possible positions, so it would ultimately be a deal-breaker. If you have either of these, let me know what your experience has been like.

Thanks!!

 

[Nimbikarana]

I'm a lesbian ...

Ever since I started masturbating at age 5 or 6, I have always been turned on by cross dressing and imagining that I had a penis. Since I can't magically grow one, ...

Are you sure you're just a lesbian with fantasies? Or are you in fact a transgendered person? For example, do you know you could get yourself a penis if you wanted to?

Just wondering...

By the way that's a rather early age to get started.

 

[infinity706]

Well, Feeldoe type toys don't have any problem that I can find as long as you insert if anally. Unless you're planning on spreading your legs super wide, the stronger muscles of your ass should easily hold any one of them just as firm and straight as a real dick.
G-spot shouldn't be a problem either. You should easily still hit it with the bulb up your ass. Remember, the wall between ass/cunt isn't very thick.
It should rub your clit some, but there's nothing stopping you from grinding your clit against your partner as you fuck them with your new cock either.

 

[kingface]

Nimbikarana: Yes, I'm sure I'm not transgendered. As much as I'd love to have a penis, I don't feel like I was meant to be born male. Most of my desire to be a man is sexual and doesn't apply to real life

infinity706: It never occured to me to insert it anally, that sounds like something that could work out really well. I don't want to always have to have something up my anus when I have sex with my penis though. What are your experiences with how well the feeldoe stays in vaginally? Also, any reccomendations for strap-on dildoes or harnesses? Thanks!

 

[infinity706]

Well, I don't have any firsthand experience with it being in a woman's pussy, but from what I've read, it doesn't work nearly as well. Unless you have some really strong cunt muscles (such as if you do kegels all the time) it's probably going to slide around unless you use a harness or something. That's why anally is better. Yes, I'm a guy and use it as a second penis, so I know exactly how it works in your ass.

As for harnesses, you could look into chest harnesses. I've found that they actually work pretty well attached to any part of your body. You could even strap it on like a traditional strapon.
http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=7542501&style=atoy

 

[kingface]

Thanks for the link. How would one wear that comfortably like a traditional harness?

 

[Etoile]

I was once asked a similar question, here is the answer I gave.

Blowfish and Good Vibrations - are excellent suggestions for where to shop. Another favorite of mine is Babeland. It's important to remember that you're not buying "a strap-on dildo" as such, you're actually buying a dildo and a harness to put it in. They're generally two separate products.

The harness I recommend the most is the Texas 2-Strap and the Terra Firma is a close second. These are often hard to manipulate if the wearer is pretty large, though, so I usually mention the Crown Harness as well because it's designed for bigger bodies. All of these have straps that go around each leg, which I prefer because they're more secure. If you want one that's just got one strap (thong-style) go with the Thriller G. By the way, I don't like synthetic (nylon) fabrics for harnesses. Backpack straps are also made out of nylon, and that's what these sound like...the one time I used a synthetic harness, I couldn't stop laughing because it sounded like a backpack bouncing along.

Dildos are hard to recommend because everybody wants something different...and so there are hundreds (if not thousands) of styles. Look through babeland.com, goodvibes.com, and blowfish.com for something you like. If you want a double dildo, I can't recommend the Nexus (and its smaller cousin, Nexus Jr.) enough: they are designed to feel good for the person wearing the harness, too (most boomerang-style doubles just feel like they're going to fall out). Just make sure that if you get a double, you get a harness that has the hole all the way through. I also recommend silicone over other materials: it's safer, easier to clean, lasts longer, holds heat...there are a lot of reasons to use silicone dildos! (Price, unfortunately, is not one of them, but they're worth the extra expense.) The Nexus, by the way, is specifically molded to fit inside a woman. It feels great!

So take a look around and pick out something you like. If all else fails, get a "kit" - the Bend Over Beginner set comes with everything you need. If you haven't got a lot of experience strapping one on, you may find that something simple like this is all you need, and then you're all set!

Oh, and for more tips on choosing a harness, check out Babeland's Harness Coach which answers more questions.

The new Share by Fun Factory might be a good alternative to the Nexus. It looks pretty similar from what I can tell, and it gets good reviews, though I haven't tried it myself. As for the Feeldoe, I personally find the suggestion of inserting it anally pretty bizarre. For guys who want an alternative to their dick, that works great. For chicks, though, it's made for insertion in the pussy. In fact, it's made for girls, period...that's who it was designed for. But a lot of guys like it too.

 

[Etoile]

Are you sure you're just a lesbian with fantasies? Or are you in fact a transgendered person? For example, do you know you could get yourself a penis if you wanted to?

Just wondering...

By the way that's a rather early age to get started.

A lot of women fantasize about having a penis, whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, or anything. Having fantasize about having/using a penis doesn't mean somebody is FTM, otherwise there would be a lot more FTM's out there.

Also, that age is not especially early...pretty standard IMHO.

 

[infinity706]

Thanks for the link. How would one wear that comfortably like a traditional harness?

Well, it has 4 straps. You just put two of them up on your hips and the other two between your legs. It's really a lot more comfortable than it sounds like it would be.

 

[Etoile]

Well, it has 4 straps. You just put two of them up on your hips and the other two between your legs. It's really a lot more comfortable than it sounds like it would be.

Yeah, but I think she would get more penis-feeling with something designed for it. From what I can tell, the chest harness doesn't have any backing. Unless you have a very, very wide-based dildo, you're not going to get any real pushing behind that chest harness. If all you have is the base of a dildo, it's too wobbly. I've tried that sort of thing before...I think it's better when you have a triangle base, gives you more of a stable feeling. If I'm reading the picture wrong, let me know - it sounds like you have this.

 

[infinity706]

The new Share by Fun Factory might be a good alternative to the Nexus. It looks pretty similar from what I can tell, and it gets good reviews, though I haven't tried it myself. As for the Feeldoe, I personally find the suggestion of inserting it anally pretty bizarre. For guys who want an alternative to their dick, that works great. For chicks, though, it's made for insertion in the pussy. In fact, it's made for girls, period...that's who it was designed for. But a lot of guys like it too.

http://www.extremerestraints.com/female-butt-plug-and-dildo-harness_1295.html
Yes, it was designed for girls. Afterall, the inventer is a lesbian. It can't be any more weird than this toy, though. Of course, I wasn't going for weirdness. The OP wanted it to not be wobbly. Ass muscle strenth > pussy muscle strength Besides, a real cock is actually attached inside the body right around the asshole. Therefore, that would be its natural position.

 

[Etoile]

http://www.extremerestraints.com/female-butt-plug-and-dildo-harness_1295.html
Yes, it was designed for girls. Afterall, the inventer is a lesbian. It can't be any more weird than this toy, though. Of course, I wasn't going for weirdness. The OP wanted it to not be wobbly. Ass muscle strenth > pussy muscle strength Besides, a real cock is actually attached inside the body right around the asshole. Therefore, that would be its natural position.

That toy isn't weird at all to a female submissive.

I don't mean to argue with you, but my extensive experience tells me that holding the dildo in the ass is not going to be as enjoyable for a woman as holding it in the pussy. I find it odd to consider the possibility, as a woman, that I would fuck someone with a toy held in my ass. I realize that's the place a guy has to hold such a thing, but as a lesbian, it just sounds wacky.

 

[gloriann]

The harness recommendations earlier in this thread were good... I just like a good harness and an agreed upon dildo. If you go with a more traditional strappy, just make sure that the harness is adjustable and can hold different sizes of dongs...

 

[infinity706]

That toy isn't weird at all to a female submissive.

I don't mean to argue with you, but my extensive experience tells me that holding the dildo in the ass is not going to be as enjoyable for a woman as holding it in the pussy. I find it odd to consider the possibility, as a woman, that I would fuck someone with a toy held in my ass. I realize that's the place a guy has to hold such a thing, but as a lesbian, it just sounds wacky.

I don't mind arguing. I just have to wonder if having it in your pussy would really be more pleasureable. Obviously, anal is a lot of fun. (well, the asshole and the prostate anyway feel terrific even though the rest of the deeper inside parts don't feel much besides pain/pressure) I can't say for sure whether it would feel better, but I can say that a toy in your ass will very likely be more stable. I think you might change your mind if the bulb had a vibrator in it, too. I know I don't last long with a vibrating butt plug pressing on the inner part of my asshole. (or a vibrating anything)

 

[Etoile]

I don't mind arguing. I just have to wonder if having it in your pussy would really be more pleasureable. Obviously, anal is a lot of fun. (well, the asshole and the prostate anyway feel terrific even though the rest of the deeper inside parts don't feel much besides pain/pressure) I can't say for sure whether it would feel better, but I can say that a toy in your ass will very likely be more stable. I think you might change your mind if the bulb had a vibrator in it, too. I know I don't last long with a vibrating butt plug pressing on the inner part of my asshole. (or a vibrating anything)

It must be the prostate thing, because anal play really doesn't do anything for me at all. I know there are some women who like it, including some lesbians, but the idea of operating a dildo with my butt sounds annoying at best and painful at worst! Yes, I do think having it in the pussy would be more pleasurable. We're talking about a part that I have and you don't...do I get to be the authority on it?

 

[Pegger_Man]

My wife and I are into pegging and have, over the years, tried a number of harnesses and dildos. Initially we used the Julie Ashton harness with the internal plugs for the wearer. My wife did not get much stimulation from this (although some people do seem to find it good). We reckoned that a lack of any specific clitoral stimulator in this harness, together with a general lack of movement of the vaginal or anal plugs while thrusting was the problem.

We then tried the Nexus. This certainly needs a harness as the wearer's end is rather small and does not neck down at the base. Clitoral stimulation is from a slightly raised ridge in the broad base area of the toy. This was, for us a significant improvement on the Julie Ashton although the angle of the receiver's end is, to our mind too low.

We then acquired an original Feeldoe. Again, we found a harness to be needed (a Stockroom 'Ultimate' has a simple ring and is very adjustable so can work with the very low ring position needed for this type of toy). Without a harness we found that the clitoral stimulation was poor as the ridges on the saddle that are supposed to rub the clit were usually pulled down away from the clit. A harness, or even a pair of panties to hold the Feeldoe up really improves things. We now also have a Feeldoe Stout which is moulded from a firmer grade of silicone to our old original and my wife finds this less comfortable.

The Share has a rather larger insertable at the wearer's end than the Feeldoe so gives more vaginal stimulation than the Feeldoe. However, the saddle is a broad and fairly flat so gives clitoral stimulation only with rather vigorous thrusting. Again we use this with a harness. We like the softer grade of silicone of this toy to the firm grade used on the current feeldoes.

One criticism we have of all the double-ended toys is that they are rather too short for some positions. The Feeldoe More is slightly longer and probably helps this a bit (we may yet buy one but the toy draw is getting to be worth more than the house ) . However, we have used various cock extenders on the receiver's end of our original Feeldoe to give more 'reach' and used nubbed sleeves etc to change the feel at the wearer's end.

 

[Etoile]

My wife and I are into pegging and have, over the years, tried a number of harnesses and dildos. Initially we used the Julie Ashton harness with the internal plugs for the wearer. My wife did not get much stimulation from this (although some people do seem to find it good). We reckoned that a lack of any specific clitoral stimulator in this harness, together with a general lack of movement of the vaginal or anal plugs while thrusting was the problem.

We then tried the Nexus. This certainly needs a harness as the wearer's end is rather small and does not neck down at the base. Clitoral stimulation is from a slightly raised ridge in the broad base area of the toy. This was, for us a significant improvement on the Julie Ashton although the angle of the receiver's end is, to our mind too low.

We then acquired an original Feeldoe. Again, we found a harness to be needed (a Stockroom 'Ultimate' has a simple ring and is very adjustable so can work with the very low ring position needed for this type of toy). Without a harness we found that the clitoral stimulation was poor as the ridges on the saddle that are supposed to rub the clit were usually pulled down away from the clit. A harness, or even a pair of panties to hold the Feeldoe up really improves things. We now also have a Feeldoe Stout which is moulded from a firmer grade of silicone to our old original and my wife finds this less comfortable.

The Share has a rather larger insertable at the wearer's end than the Feeldoe so gives more vaginal stimulation than the Feeldoe. However, the saddle is a broad and fairly flat so gives clitoral stimulation only with rather vigorous thrusting. Again we use this with a harness. We like the softer grade of silicone of this toy to the firm grade used on the current feeldoes.

One criticism we have of all the double-ended toys is that they are rather too short for some positions. The Feeldoe More is slightly longer and probably helps this a bit (we may yet buy one but the toy draw is getting to be worth more than the house ) . However, we have used various cock extenders on the receiver's end of our original Feeldoe to give more 'reach' and used nubbed sleeves etc to change the feel at the wearer's end.

Oh my, you have the toy budget I would love to have! Great first-person advice!

 

[infinity706]

It must be the prostate thing, because anal play really doesn't do anything for me at all. I know there are some women who like it, including some lesbians, but the idea of operating a dildo with my butt sounds annoying at best and painful at worst! Yes, I do think having it in the pussy would be more pleasurable. We're talking about a part that I have and you don't...do I get to be the authority on it?

Well, I've never had any pain from it or really much annoyance other than muscle cramping from hour plus use. I just wish it vibrated in the bulb end, too. Of course, it's probably just a personal anatomy thing. Some women have told me that anal is actually more pleasurable, most likely based on how the person's nerves developed. I know for me, the actual asshole, many times, drives me wild better than my cock. (especially that smooth spot directly in front of it) I even met one highly sexed woman that, surprisingly got nothing out of nipple play. I guess you can be the authority on your own pussy, though.

 

[Pegger_Man]

Oh my, you have the toy budget I would love to have! Great first-person advice!

I'm just making up for an excessively well-spent youth any way I can