Most ppl masturbate. I do. but I can't orgasm. I've tried running water, my hands, even vibrating massage thingys...nothing works..I know what my clit is...but NOTHING WORKS. DCL, I don't need onna yur jokes...might cheer me up a lil, but I'm already in agony...thanks everyone..
Most everyone does..
- Thread starter Starlet
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Ambrosious
Weaver of Written Worlds
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Do you orgasm with a partner. If so it might be a mental block that only time can overcome. I hope not for you, for masturbation without orgasm is kind of like a saddle without a horse, nice but what's the point?
Starlet, sorry I can't help you. Being a male makes it difficult to understand how one can have difficulty masturbating. It comes real easy for us. Have you considered asking your gynecologist? Find one who is a woman and ask her. A sex therapist may also be of help.
Best I can do. Sorry it's not more.
Best I can do. Sorry it's not more.
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
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Starlett, sweetie, why on earth would I joke about a such a sincere request? Unless you're not really Starlett but somebody else who uses "ppl" and you're just playing games -- but we won't go there. Hope you find the help you need. Good luck.
Bob Waters
Literotica Guru
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Suggestion
Like skibum I am male so I can't say I've had this problem, but his advice is good, consider talking to a doctor, I doubt there is a physical problem but best to rule it out first.
Everything I have read on the subject suggest practice makes perfect so don't give up!
Best of luck, don't worry, it'll happen.
Like skibum I am male so I can't say I've had this problem, but his advice is good, consider talking to a doctor, I doubt there is a physical problem but best to rule it out first.
Everything I have read on the subject suggest practice makes perfect so don't give up!
Best of luck, don't worry, it'll happen.
Cheyenne
Ms. Smarty Pantsless
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Have no idea
Can't imagine if you've tried all of those approaches that you haven't had an orgasm yet. Most people probably aren't answering you because they have no idea what else to suggest, either. Are you getting the running water/ fingers/ vibrator anywhere near your clit? I guess my only suggestion is to try just stimulating to the side of your clit if direct stimulation doesn't work. Sounds weird, but it works for me.
Can't imagine if you've tried all of those approaches that you haven't had an orgasm yet. Most people probably aren't answering you because they have no idea what else to suggest, either. Are you getting the running water/ fingers/ vibrator anywhere near your clit? I guess my only suggestion is to try just stimulating to the side of your clit if direct stimulation doesn't work. Sounds weird, but it works for me.
CreamyLady
Uncompromising Visionary
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Sometimes direct stimulation is too much and you end up with a kind of numbing effect. Cheyenne's idea of touching the side is a good one.
Taking your time and relaxing is also a good idea. If you go into it with the idea of self pleasuring, as opposed to just having an orgasm, you might be surprised at the results.
Allow yourself to dream, fantasize, and thoroughly love yourself. It can't hurt.
Taking your time and relaxing is also a good idea. If you go into it with the idea of self pleasuring, as opposed to just having an orgasm, you might be surprised at the results.
Allow yourself to dream, fantasize, and thoroughly love yourself. It can't hurt.
Svedish_Chef
On Walkabout
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You might just be too scared to actually get there... the mental block thing is not as stupid as it seems. I hope you get the end result you are after!
Look after yourself
Da Chef (Feel free not to take any advice, I am male)
Look after yourself
Da Chef (Feel free not to take any advice, I am male)
Ticklish Girl
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I'm sorry that you have this problem. It must be very frustrating for you. 
Perhaps the solution lies in the types of thoughts that are going through your mind as you masturbate. Does your mind wander? Are you tense, expecting to fail? If your main thought is, "oh no I've got to orgasm, I'll go crazy if I can't do it", chances are you'll be too tense to enjoy yourself. Try to put yourself in a relaxed state, maybe with lighting or music. At the very least, music can block out distractions from outside. Music can also set up a rhythm for your movements.
My only other advice would be to try and get yourself as excited as possible before you begin. I usually gather some of my favorite erotica and read for at least a half hour before I start playing with myself. What I like about this approach is this: it helps me to focus on the goal of orgasm and allows me to forget about everything else except my body. Another positive aspect of this approach is that it gives you scenes to replay in your mind as you masturbate.
I hope this is helpful for you. Don't give up.
Perhaps the solution lies in the types of thoughts that are going through your mind as you masturbate. Does your mind wander? Are you tense, expecting to fail? If your main thought is, "oh no I've got to orgasm, I'll go crazy if I can't do it", chances are you'll be too tense to enjoy yourself. Try to put yourself in a relaxed state, maybe with lighting or music. At the very least, music can block out distractions from outside. Music can also set up a rhythm for your movements.
My only other advice would be to try and get yourself as excited as possible before you begin. I usually gather some of my favorite erotica and read for at least a half hour before I start playing with myself. What I like about this approach is this: it helps me to focus on the goal of orgasm and allows me to forget about everything else except my body. Another positive aspect of this approach is that it gives you scenes to replay in your mind as you masturbate.
I hope this is helpful for you. Don't give up.
Svedish_Chef
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Depends MADDOG some stuff is so go you cant start because you would then stop reading the story
Da Chef
Da Chef
Ticklish Girl
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MADDOG said:
I'm a firm believer in the old adage: "Getting there is half the fun." The longer I wait to begin, the more pleasurable the outcome.
Starlet said:I'm a virgin. I don't have a partner. And I'm very frustrated. Thank you for your support, tho
Even if you are a virgin, is it possible for you to find a partner to orally stimulate you? I know that can work for ssome people. You do not have to commit to losing your virginity to experiment with a partner. It has to be someone you trust implicitly, so choose careefully, and didcuss your desires and limits beforehand.
Gingersnap
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I wonder are you on any antidepressants or meds that might have an affect on your sex drive. If you are not then you might want to just try a relaxing massage a little time in the hot tub and then reading some erotic material. If you approach it lightly and without expectations you will stand a better chance at sucess. Abstain from self stimualtion for a few days and repeat this and I think you will find yourself better able to accomplish your goal. BTW if you bike a lot or have suffered a low back injury you could be suffering from some sensory loss. Good Luck!
Never
Come What May
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In a way they are starting. If it helps I'll point out that women are constantly touching themselves, biology gives them little choice in the matter.MADDOG said:
For instance, when a woman walks or runs she's stimulating her clitoris and her vagina must increase it's lubrication due to the slight friction created.
The only advice I can offer on this topic is to not have an orgasm. I don't mean, don't try and have an orgasm, I mean, don't have one at all. When you're masturbating simply refuse to let that happen and enjoy the sensations. I, personally, have masturbated myself for hours, always stopping and letting myself calm down when I start to hit 'the zone' and I still find a great deal of pleasure in just the feel of my smooth walls sucking around my finger. Parting my lips and letting cool air move across my clit.
Orgasms happen when they will. Once you have your first the others wont be far behind, until then it's best to relax and learn to enjoy your body. Calming and pleasuring yourself.
Savage Kitten
Image IS Everything
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hmmmm
I really can't believe I haven't seen this possibility yet.. but then again as a i recall an article I read about the subject once i can
A very small percentage of women can not orgasm by stimulation to the clit alone. I rarely do. Even with oral sex (and I do know the difference between good and bad head haha) to get off totally i have to have penetration of some kind. Its as simple as that. It truly amazes some of the men i have been with.
So maybe thats your problem? that you need penentration to achieve orgasm? for myself I rarely need my clit stimulated to achieve orgams (and multi-orgasms) during sex
I really can't believe I haven't seen this possibility yet.. but then again as a i recall an article I read about the subject once i can
A very small percentage of women can not orgasm by stimulation to the clit alone. I rarely do. Even with oral sex (and I do know the difference between good and bad head haha) to get off totally i have to have penetration of some kind. Its as simple as that. It truly amazes some of the men i have been with.
So maybe thats your problem? that you need penentration to achieve orgasm? for myself I rarely need my clit stimulated to achieve orgams (and multi-orgasms) during sex
Just relax starlet
Hi starlet
Except in rarest of rare cases its mind which plays a dominating role in sex-though physical parts are involved in actual sex.Whether its a penis getting an erection or a vagina getting wet, it all happens when the brain gives instructions to do so.So its all in mind starlet.If you are sufficiently aroused-there can be a million options of how one can arouse himself/herself-orgasm will be a logical conclusion of such an aroused state.And it will happen just a s a matter of fact, without you having to take any strains.So the key is to find out what arouses you sexually...whether its a man or woman , fingers or tongue or a hard penis,...U can erotic lioterature or better still u can have cyber chat -which will certainly turn u on.And in that turned-on state, it should'nt take more than 10 minutes-to reach ur goal.
Hi starlet
Except in rarest of rare cases its mind which plays a dominating role in sex-though physical parts are involved in actual sex.Whether its a penis getting an erection or a vagina getting wet, it all happens when the brain gives instructions to do so.So its all in mind starlet.If you are sufficiently aroused-there can be a million options of how one can arouse himself/herself-orgasm will be a logical conclusion of such an aroused state.And it will happen just a s a matter of fact, without you having to take any strains.So the key is to find out what arouses you sexually...whether its a man or woman , fingers or tongue or a hard penis,...U can erotic lioterature or better still u can have cyber chat -which will certainly turn u on.And in that turned-on state, it should'nt take more than 10 minutes-to reach ur goal.
I'm male, and I don't orgasm every time I masturbate. Maybe it's just me but there is a huge difference between the little volcano in my pants going critical, and the knee-trembling, mind-numbing, speech-slurring fun of an Orgasm. I understand that this probably doesn't help you much Starlet, but I've found that I only really orgasm through intercourse. I just don't excite myself as much as my gf excites me. (sorry for the lack of help, just wanted to add my two cents)
Not everyone masturbates.
Masturbation doesn't feel good for everyone. I had a male friend who couldn't masturbate, because he realized that all he was doing was using his hand. He couldn't "trick" his mind into thinking it was a woman. I hope this doesn't discourage you, but I thought I'd just get my two cents in here.
Masturbation doesn't feel good for everyone. I had a male friend who couldn't masturbate, because he realized that all he was doing was using his hand. He couldn't "trick" his mind into thinking it was a woman. I hope this doesn't discourage you, but I thought I'd just get my two cents in here.
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