Mom showers with son's friend to son's embarrassment

[jackvegas21]

Hey guys

I was working on a story but didn't feel comfortable enough to post it on Literotica. Instead, I want to share the main plot here in hopes it will fall into hands of a experienced writer.

It deals with a son and his friend who attempt to pull a prank on the mother while she is in the shower. The mother catches them in the act and scolds them both, but particularly her son. She orders him out of the bathroom but demands that his friend stay with her. I personally made it so that the friend had gotten wet with a chemical during the prank and had a good reason to jump in the shower.

Even though the mom would be attractive, she wouldn't be a slut, and the friend would be a very inexperienced virgin. So this wouldn't be like the other cuckold son stories where a big bad bully just steals the promiscuous mom away. But one thing would lead to another and they would both end up having sex in the shower. The son would eventually find out and have very mixed emotions.

I tried to make the story more of a comedy in the vein of American Pie, but now I think that a straight up son humiliation theme would have fit better. It was very difficult to have the son not really be angry about what was transpiring before him, especially when the best stories in this genre feature sons who are very judgmental and protective of their moms.

I would be more than happy to send my draft to anyone to better understand my side of the story. Or of course you could just start from scratch and his put your spin on it.

 

[Sean Renaud]

You seem to have pretty good writing skills already and you'll never get any better if you don't get out and try. That said the only problem I have is the idea of a son playing a prank on his mother while she's in the shower. This set up is for an incest story not a first time unless you want to change it up. Seriuosly, nobody sneaks up on their mom in the shower unless they are already fucking.

Now that being said change it so they are someplace with limited showers so when the chemical gets on them it's quickly agreed to share the shower because staying in that stuff would be horrible and voila story works.

 

[sirhugs]

I agree it has potential, though I find myself more interested in Mom's POV.

 

[MrFluffyCat]

If it's an incest story as long as it doesn't end up with the son forcing himself onto the mother. Too many stories like that already.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Like I said originally I think it works better (if we don't want incest) of Mom, son and Friend heading out together to some fairly distant locale. Maybe it's a beach and they are walking by one of the septic trucks that cleans the porta poties and get dowsed with Blue Juice? Maybe they are at home and some kind chemical explodes under pressure. I think the issue we're looking for is something that is either so rank that it would be cruel to leave someone in it or maybe it burns and the son just gets lucky in avoiding it. Maybe he's not even home and it's as simple as the friend comes home from college/military/work while mom is gardening and they get covered in manuer that she was spreading. Or chlorine because she's working the pool (before it's diluted in your pool chlorine is some rough stuff. I'm sure we've all been in at least one pool with too much chlorine imagine that. . .but worse) and for some reason only one shower is up.

 

[jackvegas21]

Hey guys thanks for the replies/private messages.

It was never intended to be an incest story at all. While the son does have a slight Oedipal complex towards his busty mother, he would never actually act on those impulses. Like alot of stories in this genre, the son can look but cannot touch. The reason the son took part in the shower prank was to see his mom naked, but he would never try to force himself on her. I'm not a fan of incest in general, especially not forced incest.


The son also knows that his friend is attracted to his mother, but doesn't really have a problem with it. If anything it makes him proud to have such an attractive mom. And this is probably where the story I've written so far falls apart. I've made it so that the son actually masturbates while watching his mom fucks his friend, but then afterwards holds no resentment towards them and goes on with his life. I feel like a humiliation aspect would work much better here but couldn't actually bring myself to write it.

Renaud you have some very good ideas about why the friend would need to take a shower in the first place. My direction actually pales in comparison to your ideas. The story was going to take place on a heatwave August day, so I guess that's reason enough to shower, but I wanted to add something extra. If I were to have the story take place outside, I'd probably have to change the whole story around, but it's doable.


I do think this could turn out to be a very good story (whether I'm the one who finishes it or someone else picks it up) and I'm going to send it to everyone who's posted in this thread or messaged me. Please give me feedback, and if you want to take on the story yourself just let me know. I don't mind, I just want this to be a complete work.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Pet Peeve You could start by telling the people messaging you to fucking stop and post here. My ideas are here for them to build on but I can't build on their ideas because they aren't. This hurts the chances of us getting your story done.

If you need it to happen inside there are chemicals inside the house. They are fewer and farther between but it could be as simple as the toilet on the second story overflowing and soaking through the floor. Maybe the heatwave caused something in the attic to expand. (Seriously go look under your sink and read how many of those things say "Keep in a cool dry place.") Heat wave, heat rises, shit you didn't even remember was up there all mixes together and falls on our couple. Maybe it's in the garage and is as simple as "Hey Mike can you help me get this off the top shelf/hold the ladder while I climb up and get Chemical X." The indoor thing just changes the nature of how they get dirty.

You can even have the son present and he just doesn't jump in for whatever reason. Then he's kinda thinking how lucky his friend is and then when they don't come out in a reasonable amount of time he goes to listen at the door jerking off to the sounds of his mom fucking in the shower.

 

[jackvegas21]

What is the best way to send you guys a version of my story? I can't seem to attach it in an instant message.

 

[Sean Renaud]

you're not supposed to post stories here. This is for story ideas you could probably get away with an exert but even that's a bit risky.

 

[MrFluffyCat]

You should be able to just copy the content of the story and send it in a PM. Where exactly do you want the story to end, because from what you've said it sounds plausible to end it right there. If not is the friend and Mom going to get into a relationship? Also from what you told us of the plot it sounds like no father is in the picture.

 

[galison]

Vaguely reminds me of TheStinger's The Bet, which also wasn't about a big bully but was obviously a more intentional seduction.

If you're sharing it, I'd love to see what you've written so far.

 

[somewhatvanilla]

I wouldn't mind taking a shot at it, building from your draft.