Mixed Metaphors...

[ninefe2dg]

...The other day I was in a meeting, trying to say "one man's meat is another man's poison", and it came out..."one man's goose is another man's gander"...I caught myself as I said it and laughed it off, so at least I wasn't a total moron.

Anyway, it made me think how mixed metaphors could sound pretty funny...post any you may have ever heard, or feel free to make up your own...

Thought of this one today...

"Either put up, or get off the pot"...

Enjoy!

 

[BlackShanglan]

I love the Red Dwarf quote in your signature - long one of my favorites! And I do love a good mixed metaphor.

Evidently there once was an Irish writer named Samuel Bull (I believe it was in the 1700's?) who was so habitual a coiner of such phrases that for a period they became known as "Irish Bulls." Some of the better ones I've heard ascribed to him:

"When shall the lion of tyranny walk hand in hand with the floodgates of freedom?"

"Sir! I write this letter with a sword in one hand, and a pistol in the other!" (And the pen, evidently, between his toes?)

"The situation in our country is grown so desperate that young children, not yet able even to walk or talk, are running through the streets cursing their Maker."

But my mother and I agree on a favorite, presented by a local politician when we were both younger folk: "I think we're going to find a real hornet's nest when we get to the bottom of this can of worms."

 

[lisa123414]

Used to work with a man who would on occasion say

"You're walking on thin ground!"

 

[BlackShanglan]

Used to work with a man who would on occasion say

"You're walking on thin ground!"

*laugh* I like it.

I'm losing track of how many times I have heard "nip this in the bid" transmogrified into "nip this in the butt." *sighs*

 

[lisa123414]

It's "nip this in the bud." (Isn't it?)

 

[ninefe2dg]

It's "nip this in the bud." (Isn't it?)

Yup, the bud...

I've heard, it's a horse of a different ballpark lol!

 

[ninefe2dg]

I love the Red Dwarf quote in your signature - long one of my favorites! And I do love a good mixed metaphor.

Evidently there once was an Irish writer named Samuel Bull (I believe it was in the 1700's?) who was so habitual a coiner of such phrases that for a period they became known as "Irish Bulls." Some of the better ones I've heard ascribed to him:

"When shall the lion of tyranny walk hand in hand with the floodgates of freedom?"

"Sir! I write this letter with a sword in one hand, and a pistol in the other!" (And the pen, evidently, between his toes?)

"The situation in our country is grown so desperate that young children, not yet able even to walk or talk, are running through the streets cursing their Maker."

But my mother and I agree on a favorite, presented by a local politician when we were both younger folk: "I think we're going to find a real hornet's nest when we get to the bottom of this can of worms."

Cool! I like they have a name. We need someone w/ a screen name of Irish Bull!

 

[gauchecritic]

Don't burn your bridges over troubled waters.

 

[cumallday]

mixaphor

It's not rocket surgery.

 

[Edward Teach]

Every day above ground is a job well done.

Hot as a cat out of the bag.

 

[gauchecritic]

It's not big and it's not holier-than-thou.

(mixed metaphor and continent)

Right as a dime

or

Stop on ninepence

 

[BlackShanglan]

It's "nip this in the bud." (Isn't it?)

Blast my poor typing! Apologies. I wonder what nipping something in the bid would look like? Some sort of miscarriage of Ebay justice?

My goodness, I've invented a new one.

 

[BlackShanglan]

It's not rocket surgery.

*cackles* I love it! I must remember that one. I also love the word "mixaphor," so full points to you.

But I like the Irish bulls as well.

 

[ninefe2dg]

This are all Wonderful!! Thanks for jumping in!

But...if you can't stand the heat, then spoil the broth...

 

[_Rocky_]

In high school, a friend and I were attempting to do a problem on our Physics homework.
It wasn't working out for us, lol.
I finally sighed in frustration and said, "Well, that's it. Back to Square A."
My friend smart-assily replied, "That's our problem! We're starting in the wrong square!"

It was amusing.

 

[Recidiva]

My son usually comes up with these:

"It's a piece of snap!'

 

[kissofbliss]

Something Funny

So yeah this isn't exactly a mixed metaphor but its something funny I said when an asshole jumped out in front of me in a lane a few days ago.

"Holy Sugarcakes of Jesus!!!!"

 

[ninefe2dg]

So yeah this isn't exactly a mixed metaphor but its something funny I said when an asshole jumped out in front of me in a lane a few days ago.

"Holy Sugarcakes of Jesus!!!!"

And I always thought Jesus was a Ricecakes guy...much more healthy!

 

[ninefe2dg]

Let's...

...get this show rolling!

Or is it, let's get this ball on the road!

 

[BlackShanglan]

I nearly forgot a favorite, from Robert Asprin's Another Fine Myth:

"Let's burn that bridge when we come to it."

(And a hooves-up for "Let's get this ball on the road.")

 

[Vermilion]

I think I prefer Spoonerisms...

From the marvellous Wikipedia, for your perusal:

Many of the quotations attributed to Spooner are apocryphal – The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated Spoonerism - "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer."

Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include, "The Lord is a shoving leopard," (instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd"), "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," ("It is customary to kiss the bride") and "Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?" (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?")

Other purported gaffes include his angry address to a student, "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain" (intending to say "missed all my history lectures," "lighting a fire," "wasted two terms," and "down train," respectively). He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter of course," when he meant to say, "You'll soon be mad as a Hatter of course."

Others include, "Let us raise our glasses to the queer old Dean," ("dear old queen"),

"We'll have the hags flung out," ("flags hung out"),

"a half-warmed fish," ("half-formed wish"),

"Is the bean dizzy?" ("dean busy'),

"Go and shake a tower," ("take a shower") and

"a well-boiled icicle." ("well-oiled bicycle").

He supposedly began a speech to a school of girls sitting on hard seats by saying: "What am I to tell this audience of beery wenches?". (What am I to tell this audience of weary benches?".)

He also reportedly, in an address to a group of miners, commended them, "You are all tons of soil," meaning to say, "You are all sons of toil."

 

[Frank Noir]

Even Shakespeare mixed his metaphors - like the good old "... take arms against a sea of troubles" - from "Hamlet", no less.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'm very suspicious of the longer ones, which feel set-up, but I so love the shoving leopard that I can't bear to peer too closely into its credentials.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Even Shakespeare mixed his metaphors - like the good old "... take arms against a sea of troubles" - from "Hamlet", no less.

Amen! And taking arms against the slings and arrows wouldn't be much use either. Shields would be greatly preferable. But really, once the enemy is throwing slings at you anything is possible.

 

[gauchecritic]

Amen! And taking arms against the slings and arrows wouldn't be much use either. Shields would be greatly preferable. But really, once the enemy is throwing slings at you anything is possible.

the slings and arrows are only suffered.