@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
I intend on adding Mistress Matisse's column to this thread as an ongoing task . I will also be initiating a Dan Savage Thread. In the past these articles have gone on my main thread, though I am not sure everyone feels comfortable contributing there, seems perhaps more prudent to run these new threads on more common ground. I have no intention of tending the threads other than to contribute articles , or comments of my own, when I feel I have something I wish to add. Please consider these Community property in the real sense of the concept and make of the articles and debate as is your will. Everyone should feel welcome to contribute in the manner they so please.
Rebecca
September 19, 2007
Article One ~ Bring the Pain
Can you comment on the differences in the amount of pain people can enjoy and/or tolerate? It's amazing to see someone take hundreds of whip strokes, while I can't manage more than 10 to 30. What makes people so different? Is it physical, psychological, or dependent on the amount of experience? I realize the point of playing with pain isn't to see who can "take more," but as a bottom, I can't help but think I could please my top more if she could hit me harder or longer.
As you can imagine, what makes a heavy masochist is an oft-discussed subject in the BDSM scene. Experienced tops know that a heavy scene doesn't automatically equal a good scene, but still, a bottom who takes a lot of intense stimulation does draw awed and admiring glances at the dungeon party.
How do they do it? At first glance, it would seem that the level of intense sensation that someone can process and accept, if not eroticize, is a completely physiological trait. I have known people who, from the first time floggers went thwack across their backs, were able to seamlessly convert the sensation into something good. They often report a high tolerance for pain in nonkinky situations as well, which supports the idea that their bodies release endorphins earlier and more often than most people. And adrenaline can sometimes act as a substitute for endorphins, so if someone is nervous/excited enough about a scene to get that going on, they'll be able to take a lot of pain, at least for a short time.
However, while the pain threshold is mostly a matter of how someone is wired physically, there are some psychological factors at play, along with skills that can come from experience. Pain is an attention-getting signal from your body. In a nonkinky setting, it usually means something bad is happening, and it's accompanied by fear or anger. If you can learn that in a kink setting pain does not automatically equal danger, your emotional responses will change, and the physical sensation won't overwhelm you so much.
What else increases pain tolerance? Sexual stimulation—either receiving or, surprisingly, giving. I have also found that creating a feeling of intense emotional connection with your partner can sharply increase the amount of pain he or she can take. When I'm pushing someone close to his physical limits, I get my body close to him, look into his eyes, tell him how much I like what he's giving me and how much it feeds the sadist in me. I find that my bottom will choose to push through what he thought was his limit and find that, in fact, he can go a little further for me.
Naturally, you want to be a good bottom for your partner and it's tempting to count whip strokes and compare yourself to others. But it's not about giving your top a great arm and shoulder workout, it's about how you both feel when it's over. If you've pushed yourself for me, that's what pleases me as a top.
matisse@thestranger.com
Link ~ The Stranger
Rebecca
September 19, 2007
Article One ~ Bring the Pain
Can you comment on the differences in the amount of pain people can enjoy and/or tolerate? It's amazing to see someone take hundreds of whip strokes, while I can't manage more than 10 to 30. What makes people so different? Is it physical, psychological, or dependent on the amount of experience? I realize the point of playing with pain isn't to see who can "take more," but as a bottom, I can't help but think I could please my top more if she could hit me harder or longer.
As you can imagine, what makes a heavy masochist is an oft-discussed subject in the BDSM scene. Experienced tops know that a heavy scene doesn't automatically equal a good scene, but still, a bottom who takes a lot of intense stimulation does draw awed and admiring glances at the dungeon party.
How do they do it? At first glance, it would seem that the level of intense sensation that someone can process and accept, if not eroticize, is a completely physiological trait. I have known people who, from the first time floggers went thwack across their backs, were able to seamlessly convert the sensation into something good. They often report a high tolerance for pain in nonkinky situations as well, which supports the idea that their bodies release endorphins earlier and more often than most people. And adrenaline can sometimes act as a substitute for endorphins, so if someone is nervous/excited enough about a scene to get that going on, they'll be able to take a lot of pain, at least for a short time.
However, while the pain threshold is mostly a matter of how someone is wired physically, there are some psychological factors at play, along with skills that can come from experience. Pain is an attention-getting signal from your body. In a nonkinky setting, it usually means something bad is happening, and it's accompanied by fear or anger. If you can learn that in a kink setting pain does not automatically equal danger, your emotional responses will change, and the physical sensation won't overwhelm you so much.
What else increases pain tolerance? Sexual stimulation—either receiving or, surprisingly, giving. I have also found that creating a feeling of intense emotional connection with your partner can sharply increase the amount of pain he or she can take. When I'm pushing someone close to his physical limits, I get my body close to him, look into his eyes, tell him how much I like what he's giving me and how much it feeds the sadist in me. I find that my bottom will choose to push through what he thought was his limit and find that, in fact, he can go a little further for me.
Naturally, you want to be a good bottom for your partner and it's tempting to count whip strokes and compare yourself to others. But it's not about giving your top a great arm and shoulder workout, it's about how you both feel when it's over. If you've pushed yourself for me, that's what pleases me as a top.
matisse@thestranger.com
Link ~ The Stranger
