Mistakes a new sub makes on Lit

[msteel4u]

I chat with and have advised many subs and I would like to pass along some pointers in finding your Dom. First pick a handle or name hat doesn't indicate if you are a man or woman, nor indicate such in your profile. Just the act of signing up will get you a mailbox of trolls.next, if you post that you are looking for a Dom or daddy, expect enough trolls to never have an empty mailbox.

I know that I don't even respond to ads because of the trolls warping a new subbies mind. Instead be patient, read ads and respond to Doms through PMs. Be careful of course cause the trolls post ads too. Be sure to give it time and understand your Doms style. Don't be quick to give out email or phone numbers for a while. Make sure a Dom covers your limitations and get to know them yourself.

Any "Dom" expecting pictures, nudes especially too soon...you got it...they are a troll. That said, there are posers pretending to be subs so a picture to verify is sometimes wanted. Anyway, I am rambling. Be safe out there

 

[HeavyBalls]

I chat with and have advised many subs and I would like to pass along some pointers in finding your Dom. First pick a handle or name hat doesn't indicate if you are a man or woman, nor indicate such in your profile. Just the act of signing up will get you a mailbox of trolls.next, if you post that you are looking for a Dom or daddy, expect enough trolls to never have an empty mailbox.

I know that I don't even respond to ads because of the trolls warping a new subbies mind. Instead be patient, read ads and respond to Doms through PMs. Be careful of course cause the trolls post ads too. Be sure to give it time and understand your Doms style. Don't be quick to give out email or phone numbers for a while. Make sure a Dom covers your limitations and get to know them yourself.

Any "Dom" expecting pictures, nudes especially too soon...you got it...they are a troll. That said, there are posers pretending to be subs so a picture to verify is sometimes wanted. Anyway, I am rambling. Be safe out there

This should be required reading...

 

[LucianaGrace]

I chat with and have advised many subs and I would like to pass along some pointers in finding your Dom. First pick a handle or name hat doesn't indicate if you are a man or woman, nor indicate such in your profile. Just the act of signing up will get you a mailbox of trolls.next, if you post that you are looking for a Dom or daddy, expect enough trolls to never have an empty mailbox.

I know that I don't even respond to ads because of the trolls warping a new subbies mind. Instead be patient, read ads and respond to Doms through PMs. Be careful of course cause the trolls post ads too. Be sure to give it time and understand your Doms style. Don't be quick to give out email or phone numbers for a while. Make sure a Dom covers your limitations and get to know them yourself.

Any "Dom" expecting pictures, nudes especially too soon...you got it...they are a troll. That said, there are posers pretending to be subs so a picture to verify is sometimes wanted. Anyway, I am rambling. Be safe out there

Bumping to the top. This needs to be shared.

Thank you for taking the time and initiative to post this.

- Lucy

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

Thank you for posting this. I've come across a lot of fake Dom's in the past and many of them wanted to exchange emails or pictures too soon. So I ended up backing off and ignoring them.

 

[momdebbie]

is somebody going to post a thread about the mistakes a dom makes?

because that happens quite a bit also

for example

a close friend of mine got dropped by her dom for refusing to do something that she said in the beginning she would never do.

in this case, the dom is 100 percent in the wrong.

if somebody wants to convince me otherwise in a civilized manner, please do.

 

[Muttley6t9]

is somebody going to post a thread about the mistakes a dom makes?

because that happens quite a bit also

for example

a close friend of mine got dropped by her dom for refusing to do something that she said in the beginning she would never do.

in this case, the dom is 100 percent in the wrong.

if somebody wants to convince me otherwise in a civilized manner, please do.

One must be careful when posting any Mistakes Made or How-To instructions. Posers/trolls also read such things and learn how to circumvent the warnings.

I would say that in general, Go With Your Gut. If you feel an unnatural unease, step back and take stock of your situation. It's difficult to make definitive statements as each situation is singular with its own dynamic.

Maybe someone who is better able to verbalize can create a list that contains the minimum basics before anyone enters into a relationship, such as:
Taking your time.
Establishing rules.
Determining limits.
Above all - communication.

And finally momdebbie, yes, that person is entirely in the wrong. I refuse to refer to him as a Dom.

 

[msteel4u]

is somebody going to post a thread about the mistakes a dom makes?

because that happens quite a bit also

for example

a close friend of mine got dropped by her dom for refusing to do something that she said in the beginning she would never do.

in this case, the dom is 100 percent in the wrong.

if somebody wants to convince me otherwise in a civilized manner, please do.

I agree whole heartedly. If a Dom does not honor a Hard Limit, puts his sub at risk for her safety, health or in her standing in r/l, or attempts to take on other subs without agreement of the current sub, these are all breaking of the covanent and allows for immediate release of the sub.

It doesn't however, help him or her feel much better.

 

[msteel4u]

One must be careful when posting any Mistakes Made or How-To instructions. Posers/trolls also read such things and learn how to circumvent the warnings.

Good post and I agree to an extent. My warning were things a new sub should avoid doing. Nothing I said would teach a troll how to find them, should they never post. But I agree the trolls have ads up there as well so you have to get out the posers when you are looking.

There are definitely certain tells when dealing with a troll, so I won't post them here.

Oh and subbies, there are sub posers for us as well. Basically we all have to take it slow and careful. But it is so amazing when you find the right one.

Steel

 

[LucianaGrace]

Maybe someone who is better able to verbalize can create a list that contains the minimum basics before anyone enters into a relationship, such as:
Taking your time.
Establishing rules.
Determining limits.
Above all - communication.

A great list. If I may extend on this, try not to overshare too quickly, especially online. It’s natural to become overwhelmed and swept away by the buzz of finding the elusive “One”, but there’s no rush. Reveal yourself at a pace that feels right for you. The right “One” will respect this boundary.

 

[MasterLarbirt]

you forget trust but that goes both ways always be careful and either side should not rush into a collar and for Me a contract between the two should be looked at so both know what to expect of each other

 

[RawHumor]

if somebody wants to convince me otherwise in a civilized manner, please do.

Your friend is MUCH better off for having been dropped. That guy was a selfish douche, not a good dom.

Limits exist for a reason. If he can't respect them, then he's not worthy of topping someone (yes, I realize exceptions exist, but they should be VERY rare in online situations).

 

[Farawyn]

I️ disagree with the pics.

Not nudes, unless you are comfortable.
Pics.

If he or she doesn’t want their pic “out there” there may be a legitimate reason. Or they may be married.

Get the pics. Even if only the face.