Missouri / Kansas

[kcniceguy4u]

Hi it would be nice to meet other nice guys who are in the Missouri or Kansas area. If you're in the Kansas City area please say hello. If you're in the St. Louis Area drop me a line too as I travel to the area frequently. It would be nice to find a couple guys who would like to get together just to chat and explore a bisexual or gay lifestyle.
Reading stories on Literotica is sometimes the next best thing to being out of the closet. Most of us because of our age fell into that generation where it was better to get married and have kids. Career and family were the most important things in the 1970s and 1980s timeframe. Today life is better for young people to be who they want to be and come out of the closet when they are in their teens .

 

[CountryGuy2]

I'm a nice guy

In Kansas. Probably a lot older than you. I agree that it's a lot easier today than it was "back in the day". Maybe its because I'm older that I just don't give a crap what people think.

 

[kcniceguy4u]

How much older are you? I'm 57

 

[none2_none2]

I don't envy someone who has bi/gay urges who is in a marriage. I guess that is why I was less judgmental about what they did than gay guys who liked to hurt their partner's feeling by getting it on the side.

If you were single and the gay side was pretty strong to the point that you wanted something more than just someone to get off with, I would say that there have been plenty of organizations to get to know someone before jumping in the sack. The importance of that is that if one was looking for something more long term, finding someone hot and getting it on then trying to find commonality for something longer (be it just friendship with benefits or a long time companion) is like swimming upstream.

However, being married probably cuts down on your free time to mingle. I would think that you would probably want to find another married guy with bi/gay tendencies just so you have the same need for secrecy. However, even those friendships can prove troublesome. I recall a married guy who was gay, who fell in love with his best friend who was also gay and married. Things worked out for a long time because their wives were good friends. (They never suspected the guys doing anything more than liking to go camping, etc...) Well sadly the other guy fell head over heels for a young guy. He wasn't going to leave his wife, but he wanted to cut off his friend. So to maintain the secrecy, they had to "plan" their breakup in terms of the two couples slowly drifting apart. The guy said years later that his friend approached him and said that breaking up with him was the worst thing he had ever done, and was sorry about the pain he had caused. The young man soon tired of him, and he was back to square one... NOTE: I think the guy I knew eventually came out to his wife, and they divorced but stayed good friends.

These kinds of guys have had the worst scenario in that they were not really bi, but simply gay men who got married as it was expected of them.

For myself, I would have gotten married if I could have as I so much wanted to sire kids. It wasn't because I think I have designer genes, but because I wanted to prove to myself that horrible fatherhood wasn't genetic but a choice by men (such as my dad) to be unloving or cruel to their kids (especially sons). (Its a long complicated story, but that is basically why I wanted to have biological kids. Probably not a good reason, but then how many do have "good reasons".)

Nevertheless, when I found out I was infertile, the thought of marring, but not even giving my wife children seemed so wrong. So I dropped that idea all together.

Note: the metro area also used to have some men's groups, but I think many of them fell by the way side. I think some of them might have been married, but also some of them in such groups were very closeted priests who also cannot come out.

I've been in a relationship about 15 years now, so I have no idea how men connect now. Heaven help me if my partner ever died. I'd probably be a hermit as I couldn't imagine replacing him. I'm not proud of it, but I used to love parks. At least that way it seemed a bit more personal. You would actually see the person first. I never was into bars as I don't drink, and don't like loud music. No it seems that everybody likes online apps. That sounds like it cuts the chase, but then I think it is solely to find someone to get off and find them quickly.

One more thing I will mention about some of the married guys I encountered over the years. Several of them claimed to be bi, yet many eventually realized that the gay side was stronger. It got harder for them as they got older to get it up for their marriage. The worst part was that sometimes these guys would eventually fall for some younger guy that would end up breaking down that wall and making them feel miserable when they broke up. (Note, I didn't have that kind of pull on guys, but they would open up and tell me their stories.) That is why I sometimes think that married guys who might possibly think their same sex side is pretty strong should be very honest with themselves and admit that "falling in love" could put at risk their dual life that they worked so long and hard to preserve for the sake of their family.


Final Note: Both my partner and I are 59 models. Perhaps there was something in the water that year as sometimes it does seem to have plenty of non-str8 men.

Good luck!

 

[CountryGuy2]

I'm 62. My wife knows about my "urges" and has since we first started dating. She doesn't like it and we have a don't ask, don't tell policy. Nothing much has happened in many years. I don't get out much.

 

[kcniceguy4u]

None2 thanks for the long detailed response. I agree with everything you said. Funny how one can go about life for more than 40 years and put things into a compartment not to be open. But occasionally and more often these days we need to open the compartment up and explore the contents of what's out there. I guess that occurs when the first priority of raising a family is over and you're entering the next phase of your life. Sad for many of us that we have live behind a façade since age 12 or 13.

I am always pleased to see how kids today can be who they want to be without the stigma that we would've faced in 1980

 

[nightguy178]

Kansas here but way down south 57yrs old

 

[none2_none2]

None2 thanks for the long detailed response. I agree with everything you said. Funny how one can go about life for more than 40 years and put things into a compartment not to be open. But occasionally and more often these days we need to open the compartment up and explore the contents of what's out there. I guess that occurs when the first priority of raising a family is over and you're entering the next phase of your life. Sad for many of us that we have live behind a façade since age 12 or 13.

I am always pleased to see how kids today can be who they want to be without the stigma that we would've faced in 1980

For what it is worth, I wouldn't want to have grown up with all these so called freedoms that we have now. I think time is like a pendulum and it has swung too far the other direction. Humans beings as social animals tend to equate freedom with being enslaved to a different "group" -- which to me isn't freedom at all.

Sure my male attraction has a physical component. I'm turned on by masculine, muscular, hairy men who are bottoms. However, there is a much stronger emotional component -- the desire for such a man to want to be with me. Not because I'm the nearest person to him with a cock, but rather because he wants me both sexually and emotionally -- to hang around me. I never saw myself as some kind of less-than-male being. I never saw myself as a roosterette or hencock. I wanted a house, white picket fence, pets, wife and kids. I just wanted my spouse to be a man. That partner I wanted was to be a man with a heart, and not some cross dresser or she-male which plenty supposedly "str8 men with cock attractions" seem to want.


No I'm not saying I'm the butchest thing standing on two feet. For instance, I never cared for spectator sports. I'd rather do something sporty than sit and get excited about others playing something. I also don't get excited about cars, motorcycles, etc. Now computers are a different matter... While I like the outdoors, I cannot do too much as I tend to burn instead of tan. So I can go outsides, and I like rural areas. I simply cannot stay outside in the hottest part of the summer day or the cold parts of the winter. Neither do I wish to dress up as a woman. I think men look best when they have male clothing. They don't have to be dressed in dead animal hides or some other "costume". Just be themselves.

Note: I have seen too many of the younger generation of gay guys who seem perfectly fine surrendering their masculinity all together. They'd just assume have a woman open doors for them, than to open the door for others. They love all that campy talk. They also tend to act victimized if someone dare calls them a name or even looks funny at them. If another Hitler were to rise to power, it wouldn't take much for them to be destroyed as they only know how to stand up for themselves if they are screaming about being called a bad word.

For example, I'm all for gay marriage, but I really couldn't care less about whether some baker, florist, photographer doesn't want to be involved. Nobody dies if they don't get a particular person to give them a cookie, flower, or photo... To hell with such businesses that hide behind religious freedom.. I would never want to give even a penny to such a person.

However, sending them through the courts and fining them won't change hearts, and only hardens their stance. I'd rather give my money to someone who isn't a bigot. I think people forget in history that one of the most tolerant societies for homosexuals was pre-Nazi Germany. It didn't take long for all that pendulum to swing the other way. So getting all bent out of shape over these silly little things is just so myopic.


I recall 20 years ago driving down Ward Parkway towards the Plaza when I was near some crazy driver. It turned out to be some young gay guy who knew I was pissed with his driving. So he decided to go all fem on me. Sashaying with his body, and kissing the drivers window as I finally passed him. He probably thought he had offended some str8 redneck wife-beater. Where in fact he offended someone who was disgusted with how easily it was for him to want to surrender his manhood. Some may think all that effeminate behavior is some kind of liberation or at least comical. I simply felt it was stupid.

To each his own, but I don't see today's young gay culture as much about freedom as much as simply imitating another group to fit in. I'd rather deal with blending in with str8 guys, than ever want to blend in with gay guys who seem to want to be nothing more than pretty effeminate objects where the only thing male about them is their genitalia.

 

[sixinchschlong]

Hello all. I'm from ks also in kc occasionally and would love to find a person to explore with. Being married and from a small town limits the opportunities quite a bit for me. I'm located about an hour south of kc. Very curious here. Hit me back if u like with a private message or post here if u want. Good luck.

 

[TheMayKing]

44 married bi curious in KC area.

Im bi curious... Havent sucked a cock since I was 16 but the thought turns me on. I don't feel romantic yet towards men.. But wont rule it out. My wife doesn't know... Can"t know...

Would be open to talk.. Maybe meet eventually and experiment. My biggest worries are privacy and finding a DDF cock. I enjoy anal toys however am an anal sex virgin.

Im 6'5", 265. Been loosing weight and getting back in shape since Jan and still going strong.

Open for a PM

 

[kcniceguy4u]

Hello all. I'm from ks also in kc occasionally and would love to find a person to explore with. Being married and from a small town limits the opportunities quite a bit for me. I'm located about an hour south of kc. Very curious here. Hit me back if u like with a private message or post here if u want. Good luck.

Anybody ever in KC let's meet for coffee.