Missing him a year later

[ManOSafety]

Well, Sunday will mark the one year anniversary of my Dad's death. We've made it through all of those other milestones this past year...my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mom and Dad's anniversary, Fathers' Day, his birthday...so, in some ways it will be just another step to recognize, but I find myself thinking about him more and more and missing him still. I know I never will stop missing him or thinking about him, but I think that's a good thing and one I'm thankful for. I've heard about too many people who hated their parents so much they are glad to be rid of them.

I think, in some way, my four and a half year old son is picking up on my thoughts and emotions. I know that he's usually pretty empathetic, so it doesn't surprise me. But, he's been asking me questions about my Dad a lot the past couple of weeks. I'm glad that he remembers him too.

I know that many of the people here have also lost loved ones and that I'm not the only one, but I wanted to put down some of these thoughts into words and share them someplace.

Thanks for reading.

 

[cymbidia]

My little brother died on May 24, 18 years ago. I still miss him. I always will.

It never goes away, that missing someone we've loved deeply but the sharp ache and fresh pain do dull with time.

I'm sure he would have been touched by your tribute to him and your loving memories of him.
cym

 

[Willing and Unsure]

*hugs you tight* i'm sure you'll make it through ok.. that one year mark will be a tough one, probably the toughest of them all. if you ever want to talk to anyone though... i think you still know how to find me, i always have an ear (and a shoulder) if you ever want it. and don't forget that it's a tough time for your family as well as it is for you.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

MOS,

Thanks for sharing. Your loving tribute should serve as a reminder to those who still have their loved ones close to cherish every moment. For those of us who have already lost them, it was a nice way to share similar emotions about the people we mourn.

These are the ties that bind us all together. There is no escaping certain inevitabilities. Death and loss are natural parts of life and living. A process we will all go through. It helps when someone has been there before us to lead the way, as it were.

It is wonderful to reach the point where you can revel in the wonderful memories rather than the overwhelming sense of bereavement.

 

[p_p_man]

My brother died over 20 years ago...

...and with each passing year I think of him more and more...

 

[CW]

After just over 4 1/2 years since my dad passed, I think that I am finally getting used to the idea. That's NOT to say that I don't still reach for the phone to call him just for the heck of it or talk over some problem in my life. And I certainly think of him on more ocassions than I care to think about.

It is easier now to think of him and not become wrapped up in grief,,, or guilt for the time that we were seperated by anger or indifference.

Putting the feelings into written words, not just verbalizing, seems to help ease that sharp ache that you thought would NEVER go away. ( as cymbidia has just said )

 

[Ticklish Girl]

ManO, I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died in 1998 and I know from experience that the one-year mark is very, very painful. I hope you have been able to get some comfort from your family and your friends here.

Hold onto your good memories of him, and cherish them.

Take care.

TG

 

[Mensa]

My dad died four years ago. One thing I've noticed is that with the passage of time the memories of all the good times shared remain. The bad ones seem to fade away.

MOS, time helps you to come to terms with it.