Missing Father Syndrome...

[amicus]

Watching, for the second time, as it is not invasive and I am in thought, the Hallmark Special, "The Note". A couple things I noted the first timet through, a line from the film, "middle aged women living with their cat..." The lonliness of life as time and circumstances change.

And, the two women discussing that also were abandoned by their fathers at an early age and carried bitterness as they entered the middle years of their lives.

I will not make this about personal experience, nor do I solicit such response and I do not wish to make this even quasi political, rather as a continuing thesis of young people growing up who never knew and don't remember their biological fathers.

It is different if a a father is deceased, by war, accident or natural causes, I think, when that happens, closure can occur after a given time.

But when the biological father is out there, 'somewhere' and a child begins to wonder and as life goes on begins to question the why's and wherefore's of the circumstances surrounding the event of absence...and I also wonder about the fathers who left behind a child; do they remember do they occasionally think of the same things?

I find a few of my stories falling back on girls with no positive masculine influence in their lives and my themes usually reflect a search for a male to trust and/or believe in and the girl/young woman, is not always aware of what she is seeking or why.

Does this occur in any of your stories?

As an after thought as I submit this, the holiday season, when families usually gather is part and parcel, I think, of the theme that runs through a great deal of what is offered on television....missing fathers and even mothers in some of the stories.

Amicus... Seasons Greetings...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

AMICUS

I encounter fatherless kids all the time.

Here's my nautical metaphor for the situation: Moms are the strong keels that provide kids with stability; dads are the rudders that direct kids. Parents complement each other and neutralize the worst effects of the other. Plus they model how men and women are supposed to be.

So! If daddy is gone, and momma has a string of lovers, the kids get the idea that men are for entertainment....or worse.

 

[Pure]

Here's my nautical metaphor for the situation: Moms are the strong keels that provide kids with stability; dads are the rudders that direct kids. Parents complement each other and neutralize the worst effects of the other. Plus they model how men and women are supposed to be.

So! If daddy is gone, and momma has a string of lovers, the kids get the idea that men are for entertainment....or worse.

at the same time, jbj, i don't know of evidence that 'fatherless' (i.e. father not around) children lack direction. isn't bill clinton 'fatherless'.

for a metaphor, i suppose the stereotypical one is as good as any; mom provides the pea soup on rainy days; dad provides a straight back wooden chair

that is, mom teaches social skills and pride; dad urges the kid to 'buckle down' and do tasks she's undertaken, and presents information and warning about the harsh consequences one is likely to encounter in life, based on certain behaviors.

 

[l8bloom]

AMICUS

I encounter fatherless kids all the time.

Here's my nautical metaphor for the situation: Moms are the strong keels that provide kids with stability; dads are the rudders that direct kids. Parents complement each other and neutralize the worst effects of the other. Plus they model how men and women are supposed to be.

So! If daddy is gone, and momma has a string of lovers, the kids get the idea that men are for entertainment....or worse.

IMHO, I think the operative word here is "kid." I have at least 2 close friends, women, who grew up fatherless. My understanding is that it can be like growing up missing a limb. Yes, you're different from the other kids, but it can be what is normal for you. So I'd say one theory is that you might not miss what you've never experienced. I also think a person can get to be 30, or 40, or whatever, and choose to live a healthy life, regardless of what hand you were dealt as a kid.

So I think the character's age -- how much time she's had to mature -- may influence her story.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Lots of people experienced the Holocaust with no harm to their hearts & minds. There are exceptions to any experience or event. But, from what I see, women generally have a tough time managing boys, with no father-figure around.