Missed Connections - Lit style

[Lonelywife1205]

Is there someone from Lit you would love to reconnect with? Someone you lost touch with and maybe you forgot their username and only remember where they are from or a few details about them? Maybe there’s someone you want to apologize to for ghosting them?

Whatever the reason or circumstance, if there is someone you are missing or someone you have thought of or wondered about, feel free to post here. Maybe they will see it, maybe they won’t, but at least you put it out there.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Dear R,

I would love for us to talk about the last communication we had. I understand how it went down, but at the same time I would love for you to see that words were said by a well-intended mutual friend, but those weren’t my words or remotely how I would have said them. I miss your friendship and think of you and yours often.

Your cheerleader,
Me

 

[Lonelywife1205]

TPH and Brianna- I hope they see your messages and that they can feel your heart and your sincerity. Thank you for sharing.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Dear S,

You were incredible. Then you weren’t. You became strange and said some really awful things. I’m actually glad you did, if helped me move on. I hope you are happy and that the person you moved on with was everything you hoped for. I think of you sometimes and hope for good things for you. I’m happy in my life. I hope you are too.

 

[LourdMorpheus]

Your Married

Your a caregiver in human services. We met for coffee chatted a whole bunch bout our kinks. You shaved yourself under mild protest. You trained on a plug in anticipation of our meeting. We called and talked and got all hot bout how n when. You had out of town visitors. We were going to. Our imaginations were on fire.

But I backed out cause I was a shit. There were some circumstances you didn’t know about. You’ve probably moved on and found mr easy afternoon.

Would sure like to reconnect.

 

[cutcrystal]

Dear L

I thought we connected. You and I were the right age. A fun exchange in a thread of chat. Common ground. Humour. You sent me kisses. I sent kisses back. I even shared some of a story and you said you were intrigued. Then you said you were unexpectedly busy when we were due to chat and could we arrange a later rendezvous. And then you just vanished, never to be seen again. And I was sad because we really did connect.

C

 

[cutcrystal]

PS to L

I wondered if it was me. My auto reaction. I must have done something wrong. I still do not know though it helped that someone said that viewing it as something going on in the other party's life helped to feel better about it. I have to level with everyone though. I do not feel better. Even though I moved on it still haunts me a bit.

 

[SassySheDevil]

A Rose by any other name..

You will forever be the one person I miss the most. The one person who's disappearance rattled me the most. The one that made me comfortable and feel loved and wanted. I wish more than anything I knew what happened. I wish I knew why you just left like that. I think I will always miss you. I miss how you made me feel. So much. I miss the Confidence you helped me find. But in the end. I hope you are happy. That is all I ever wanted for you.

Me.

 

[theeonanist]

Dear S

You were the first person I connected in lit with. Our “relationship” was dictated by your nervousness and we took it slowly over a month or so. Nothing really sexual happened except short descriptions of how you satisfied yourself to me while you husband was away at work. I could tell you were beginning to open up to me when you sent a very detailed PM about how you lost your virginity.

It must have been a massive effort to write that PM. To summon the courage to recall how repelled and excited you were at the same time and how it has shaped your sexual needs to this day. Needs I knew I could no longer satisfy. Instead of trying to understand how it’s affects you now, I chose to focus on the actions of the man whole stole your virginity.

My response should have been far more considerate of how it affects you now and how it has shaped your understanding of sex. I could see none of this. I could only focus on my discomfiture. And for that I will always be very sorry

 

[Tastytooter]

Oh, there are so many...

Especially if you include connections from the Lit Chat when that was still a functioning thing (and when people still used chat rooms, my god.)

The one who wanted me, until she didn't want me.

The one who, upset that I'd began an in-person relationship, lashed out and tried to ruin it. I blamed the wrong person, and ended up ruining another friendship. So many ripples from that one little pebble, tossed in anger and pain.

The one who asked me to cross a line, but I said I couldn't. But then I did, a little. And then it got sad.

The one who taught me how to use words to seduce a woman.

The one who introduced me to the adult world of casual sex a little too early, and who led me to make some changes.

The one who hurt me and then faded. To say nothing of the one who hurt me and stuck around. Make space for the ones who I hurt, too.

And there are others whose stories are less specific - the flirtation, the heat and intensity, the promise or hope, and then one or both of us just walked away. Or turned the volume down, or whatever.

But I still think about them. Most of them, the majority. Some stayed too briefly to nestle into the wrinkles of my memory, but the others have homes there. Many of them I miss, some I miss deeply. One I will never get over. I hope all of them are ok, happy or reasonably so, and living lives they'd at least partly dreamed for themselves.

 

[WiLordCadus]

Dear Red

Red,

I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time how much our friendship meant to me. How we’d talk about our current reads, which was good and others overhyped. The movies we loved, that made our imaginations go wild since we’d been kids. Along with the movies that made us laugh for the wrong reasons. Because we couldn’t believe some one pitched this bad of an idea with any kind of a budget. How we could just laugh together.

Hearing from you random times, it was so long ago now because texting was a new thing. Got a flip phone just because of our texts. I was so sick of the number texting, for others that read this yes I’m old. Middle of the night phone calls when the bad dreams would come back and you just wanted me to talk, just wanted to hear my voice and go back to sleep. Our high cell bills, funny isn’t? Now everyone gets unlimited minutes no matter what plan.

We had great evening talking about what turned us on, what we wanted to explore. What we had explored. Always walking that edge between friendship and something more. We enjoy each other’s sexual pleasure and knew it was always just online/phone only. You also taught me how to get back in touch with my emotions. To value all that I bring to a relationship, and I didn’t need to always be giving. I could still be strong, receive tenderness, care, pleasure, and love back. I didn’t always have to give first.

Then it ended, life got busy for both of us. The messages on both sides got fewer and fewer. Few years later I found the one you said I would find. You were right on every level. She’s beyond my dream come true and is my best friend. I doubted for so long I would find her. But you said I was someone worth it. As much as I gave I would get back someone who would give back equally, you were so right. I cherish her and love her beyond anyone I’ve ever loved.

Thank you for being my friend, helping me heal, teaching and learning together. I think of you and always know you’re happy. Know your man loves you and know you have those babies you always wanted. Well they would be teenagers now, so maybe not as much fun right at the moment. But they will grow up knowing they have the best mom in the world. And your husband/boyfriend will know he’s got one of the rarest gifts in the world. A woman that loves him with her heart, mind, body, and soul.

 

[WiLordCadus]

“Dear all who shared themselves here,

I am truly honored and humbled to be here, and I wish you could all see yourselves through my eyes because you're so very precious. Some of you I've gotten to know, others seen in passing or have yet to have the pleasure of meeting. What you've written is incredibly touching and beautiful. Every single one of you is worthy of being loved. May the creator of the universe bestow blessings upon each one of you, and may you all find peace, happiness and healing.

Love,

Brianna”


Thank you for sharing your story, and having the strength and courage to ask for forgiveness. Know that some of us all have that feeling of doing something wrong that drove a lover away. Online it’s such a different way to experience a relationship. There are no limits to what we can do. Seeing your profile and reading that you’re a long time roleplayer, being one also we both know the power of online freedom. Bonds form if the spark is there, glad you got to explore and experience a new kind of relationship. I write back because as funny as this may sound I am a man of faith. So you’ve asked for forgiveness, knowing it still weighs on you, I pray you will be given the peace and healing for the part of your heart that still aches. Also to thank you for the prayers you offer for all of us and also seeing all of us as real people in your heart and spirit.

LV, thank you for making this thread. It’s a way to heal, express, or maybe just say hello old friend I’ve missed you.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Dear all who shared themselves here,

I am truly honored and humbled to be here, and I wish you could all see yourselves through my eyes because you're so very precious. Some of you I've gotten to know, others seen in passing or have yet to have the pleasure of meeting. What you've written is incredibly touching and beautiful. Every single one of you is worthy of being loved. May the creator of the universe bestow blessings upon each one of you, and may you all find peace, happiness and healing.

Love,

Brianna

P.S. - LW, thank you again for creating this thread. It's a very special place in our little Lit world.

Well said Brianna. I have loved reading each one of these posts. They’ve been a great reminder that Lit really is a special place with so many wonderful people.

 

[Hyacinthus151]

Here I thought I was going to have to wait till email debt forgiveness day (April 30th btw).

Dear L,
I guess the best place to start is with an apology. I’m sorry for not being honest with myself about the reality of my life and the unintended neglect you received. I’m sorry for not putting aside my own feelings and reaching out again every time I see your name in passing. I hope you are well and are finding some joy and happiness in your life. I would love to be friends again, even if that spark isn’t what it was.

-B

 

[PaganBull]

Dear C,

You came, we communicated and connected. You disappeared. Maybe you got nervous of falling in deeper, maybe your rl situation improved and you no longer felt the need, only you will ever know. But know I remember and think of you often and hope that only good things for you came from your decision. x

 

[Sakura_seven]

Dear A

A--

We met here 8 years ago now. I was writing again and we bonded over your story ideas. We began to message every day, and we did for about a year.

You are younger than me, and you bared your soul to me. We talked through your shyness and hangups. We shared a terrible history of childhood trauma. We never exchanged more than a couple pics. It was a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection.

You are a talented writer. I know you are thriving.

You had the stupidest username on lit. I used to tease you about it. I don't think you post here anymore. I wish we could talk again, although you certainly don't need me.

 

[Mhg1999]

Dear v

You shared the same interests as me. We would talk on kik for hours talking about you and your kinks and your uncle. Then one day you moved and haven't shown back up on kik. I think about you often lomgi.g for our chats.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

 

[LourdMorpheus]

Where did you go? What happened to you - to me? We used to be able to talk about anything - sex included. We even shared the fringes of some sexual fantasies you almost had. We worked, we built, we travelled, we lived. We fucked in the office, we fucked on the 80's full motion waterbed, we fucked in the car, Fucked in the tent, on the table, and then slowly, unnoticeably, gradually, you methodically constructed invisible walls that became more and more obscured to the point that I could not see through them, nor penetrate them. You have hidden behind them.

I have wanted to talk, and even have talked about my openness with women, but your reality is so righteous and I am so - unrighteous ... so very unrighteous. I am willing and have proved it to you that I am willing to love and make love the way you need it. But what about me? I really do believe you are incapable of love, making love, and fucking in ways that are meaningful to me. Hence the impasse.

You bind me but not in enjoyable ways. In ways that kill my soul. Silence my voice. Extinguish all my creative sexual juice. You bind my heart. You have always held it. Kept it. Slayed it. I beg you to open your hand and release it. We have a history together. We have a past. We have a present, we are living it now. We do have a future. I will not leave you nor stop supporting your life. Emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual,.... but I cannot live in the prison you hold me in as a sexual man. I have broken out before, but always returned to the conformity you demanded in your love definition. No more. I declare myself sexually emancipated. You have been a cruel taskmaster the last 20 years. I love you, but I resent you, I am bitter against you. I have got to be able to breath and be free.

I am overly saddened. I believed time and dialog would have healed many things. They are raw and open sores. Forgiveness does not mean pretending a false reality is real. Forgiveness is working through resentment and bitterness, and not allowing those things to taint who one is on the inside. Sometimes I am tainted and sometimes you are. I think our mutual sexuality is many times toxic. Just because there are orgasms does not mean there is intimacy or unity.

I can achieve more intimacy and unity from strangers than I can from our bed. I could go on and on and on. But what is the point. Happy fucking valentines day.

Where did you actually go?

 

[Starscream_UK]

Mel

I can't explain how much I miss you - and the thing is, I know you're never coming back.

You'd mentioned about being ill occasionally - a couple of absences in our email and kik conversations - but you would always return, even though you'd tell me you didn't want to talk about it, even though it seemed like nothing was off-topic between us. There was something between us that was truly unique - then I received the message from your husband that you'd passed away from breast cancer. Everything made sense then.

I still wonder to this day if he read the messages on there. I gave him my condolences - he seemed to accept them as well. I expected more from him - a fight, an argument, some ultimately pointless threat, but that was it.

5 years now. 5 years you've been gone. We spent 3 years talking as geography & timing simply didn't allow for a face to face meeting. You helped me come to terms with some things that I never thought I could.

And you're gone and I will never get the chance to talk to you again.

 

[PucksPotion61]

Kate, how did things pan out...

Kate, I just would like to know that things worked out for you. I also never got a chance to thank you for corresponding with me for so many hours, on so many long nights. So again, I'd just like to find out if all is good with you. And by the way, I am now definitely a Joe Pass fan.

Your mischievous,
Puck.

 

[SkippedBeat]

Hi, Evie.

I think I might never forget you. We talked for hours, across years, across multiple versions of Lit chat. One time you actually caved and made that Skype account I'd been wheedling you to make, and we had some truly personal conversations. The sex chat was explosive but we also talked through some intensely personal things.

I went through a really dark period and deleted all of my accounts for a while and we never did speak again. I know that I'm the one who cut off contact, but I still think of you.

Hope you finished med school. More than that, just hope you're well.

Hope we meet again.

 

[LourdMorpheus]

Whew! Well yes I actually do feel better getting that off my chest. And I apologize to those of you that are much softer, much gentler than I. My vent was painful for you, and me.

Again ..lo siento.

 

[cutcrystal]

Dear G

Gutted that you vanished given the fabulous amount of laughter we shared. A rare commodity, as you were.

 

[cutcrystal]

Thanks Brianna

For your kind words.