Misadventures of the Maid of Honor.

[Brandnewbuddy]

So most of the weddings I’ve been to have been pretty drama free but a messy lead up to the wedding has all kinds of potential

So I had the idea of a maid of honor who everyone tries to talk the bride out of giving the position due to her having a reputation…only to find out she’s the perfect one to weather the shitstorm that both families are about to bring to the wedding.

I figure at first the bride relents and makes the groom’s sister the maid of honor but at the night of the bachelorette party, friend gets a call.

“Amy, I-“

“Let me guess, Pam had you all go to a biker bar her boyfriend works at for their wet t-shirt contest, convinced you to enter then had a fight with her boyfriend, the rest of the bridesmaids bailed and now you’re about to go onstage and despite the bar having a no camera policy, everyone is waving their phones, ready to snap some pics.”

“How did you?”

“Her boyfriend is putting it all over social media about how much of a bitch she is. Relax, I’m in the parking lot, cutting the power to the bar…now. Meet me outside and I’ll get you out.”

So our maid of honor is reinstated but with a week to go, there’s plenty of time for things to go wrong.

For example: “let me guess, you two suddenly really want to bone despite the fact that starting tomorrow you’re free to fuck like rabbits and your families really believe in the whole “the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding” bullshit? Ugh…let me get a laundry basket and some blindfolds. Meet you in 10.”

Or one of the bridesmaids is a real diva and is getting the urge to either pull out of the wedding or upstage the bride. Our MoH decides to solve this by seducing her, getting her into a mistress/slave relationship and swears her to stay quiet during the reception…the diva complies but can’t resist acting like a brat, requiring discipline,

Or…bride and groom saved themselves for marriage and now they both have no idea what to do on their honeymoon. MoH has to sneak in and out of their rooms to give them lessons.

Or: groom and bride both realize they’re bi and want to have one same sex fling before they get hitched…and bride wants it to be someone other than MoH since “she’s already down so much for us”

So now with barely any time, she has to find lovers for them.

Or the families suddenly realize they have incestous feelings so MoH has to convince them that no, they’re not and one roll with her will cure them.

For example: “Jake, you’re not in love with your sister, you just popped a boner when you walked in on her naked in the shower when she was visiting from college, it’s weird but it happens.”

“No, I’m serious and I need to tell her.”

“Jesus. Look give me 20…no…5 minutes, and if you still want to tell her, you can.” *strips out of her dress*

 

[sirhugs]

I do love wedding stories. Though most focus on the bride, I have seen some Maid of Honour examples.

You have lots of good ideas here.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I wrote one where the bride was a drunk, but had quit right up until her bachelorette party where she get drunk and fucks have the groomsmen who show up. The maid of honor, who the bride thought had bailed, was there and filmed the entire escapade with the groomsmen.

Day to the wedding... big screen TV up at the alter, starts play the night of the bachelorette party when it was time for the groom to say "I do."

He and the maid of honor along with the groomsmen who didn't fuck is wife to be walkout. What happens after that is... you'll have to read it to find out.

It's called "After the Wedding"

 

[Hypoxia]

So most of the weddings I’ve been to have been pretty drama free...

Let me tell you of a cousin I'll call Cyndi. Her photo appeared in the national press when she crashed the first USA Rolling Stones outdoor concert and rode topless on a guy's shoulders.

She first married in a big, fancy shotgun wedding (paid for by her sucker dad) because knocked-up. That marriage lasted a year -- dude went to prison for dealing coke and she got an easy divorce. At the wedding, she was loopy on muscle relaxants, a model for that John Hughes movie, and tried to do a strip-tease at the altar. It was her Maid of Honor who kept her clothed and upright.

Let's have a tale of a Maid of Honor who rescues the Bride from indiscretions.

PS: Cyndi's daughter Amy from that brief marriage turned out pretty okay but her choices of girlfriends sucks IMHO.