"Mild-mannered Philly couple find strange gizmatron, seek F help."
Intriguing purple health aid found, need clever F to help us figure out what to do with it.
Well, it's the oddest thing. The missus and I had the unique misfortune of receiving a most unusal package in the mail the other day. It arrived in a plain, unmarked, brown box.
We were just finishing up our nice quiet game of Scrabble .....I'm crafty enough to turn the "E" around and play it as an "W" hehehe. >;-) .....when the doorbell rang.
Harriet was kind enough to answer while I tallied our scores. Consarned it if she didn't beat me again. "Xenwellingtropsistic?" Harrrumph! I DOUBT that's a real word....
"Horace! Horace!" she called. "A package!"
Funny, thought I.....my L.L. Bean red union suit had already arrived....I was not expecting anything else. Best see what all the hub-bub is, said I. A parcel had arrived! Some mixup about the addressee, the label had partially peeled off....but the house number was correct. C.O.D. of $49.95!
"It must be IMPORTANT, Horace!"
"I think so Harriet! said I. "...The mailman was snickering queerly as I signed "Horace J. Shackleford" in my best penmanship.
Why is he laughing, I recalled thinking at the time? Oh well.
We closed the door, sat down on the sofa, and opened the unmarked carton. Hummm..... a lavender rubbery eight-inch appendage of some sort......with belts and loops and my goodness....buckles and grommets! Such a gizmatron! What IS THIS?
We were stumped. It looked like maybe it was a medical device....but girly PURPLE? No, that did not make sense. It looked a little fancy-schmancy European too, like a handle for an IKEA potato masher maybe, I said. Harriet said it was a Swedish paper towel holder. But, truth be told.....we were stumped!!
"Our friends will know, Horace! They are very modern and hip!" So, the day, we took it our Scrabble club meeting.
Such laughter! Oh my goodness! And red faces! Ohhhh dearie! What a ruckus we caused!
Someone was even saying: "Have you no shame?"
"Shame on the Europeans!" said Harriet. "I can't get this paper towel holder to tie on to anything in my kitchen!"
Discouraged, the only useful information we got was from the new divorcee of our group, Maxine. She said, in a very low voice, "It's a HEALTH AID."
When we asked for more details on how to use this theraputic device, she gave us this link to Literotica. "Lita-what??" said Harriet.
Maxine said as she walked away somewhat awkwardly, "Go on the forum there, ask a pretty, clever lass to help you and the missus. A hip chick will be very interested in that."
So here we are!
Now....$49.95 is a lot of money. You can be SURE thrifty Harriet will want to use this on some "hip chick" and vice versa.
So......HELP US!
###
Hahahahah......yeah, we got carried away. We know damn well what that gizmatorn is....and so do you. ;-)
Please come join us? We both need you.
What we are looking for: a sincere, bi,/ bi-curious, discreet woman between the ages of 21 and 45, who does not smoke (cigarettes), doesn't do heavy drugs (although we SO encourage the enjoyment of adult beverages), and who is not insane, criminally or otherwise.
About us:
WM - 38 - 6' 1", broad shouldered, very handsome, brown hair, blue eyes, witty, sensual, gentle, with a wild imagination.
WF - 33 - 5'4", very cute, average build, full breasts, short pixie-cut reddish brown hair, green eyes, bright, easily amused and open to suggestions.
We don't do drugs or smoke, but we enjoy adult beverages. We're very open-minded, have high sex drives, enjoy trying new things.
Have been trying for a while to find that special woman to help us fullfill a fantasy of an amazing, sexy, adventure-filled evening full of adult fun.
Maybe you're the one?
Intriguing purple health aid found, need clever F to help us figure out what to do with it.
Well, it's the oddest thing. The missus and I had the unique misfortune of receiving a most unusal package in the mail the other day. It arrived in a plain, unmarked, brown box.
We were just finishing up our nice quiet game of Scrabble .....I'm crafty enough to turn the "E" around and play it as an "W" hehehe. >;-) .....when the doorbell rang.
Harriet was kind enough to answer while I tallied our scores. Consarned it if she didn't beat me again. "Xenwellingtropsistic?" Harrrumph! I DOUBT that's a real word....
"Horace! Horace!" she called. "A package!"
Funny, thought I.....my L.L. Bean red union suit had already arrived....I was not expecting anything else. Best see what all the hub-bub is, said I. A parcel had arrived! Some mixup about the addressee, the label had partially peeled off....but the house number was correct. C.O.D. of $49.95!
"It must be IMPORTANT, Horace!"
"I think so Harriet! said I. "...The mailman was snickering queerly as I signed "Horace J. Shackleford" in my best penmanship.
Why is he laughing, I recalled thinking at the time? Oh well.
We closed the door, sat down on the sofa, and opened the unmarked carton. Hummm..... a lavender rubbery eight-inch appendage of some sort......with belts and loops and my goodness....buckles and grommets! Such a gizmatron! What IS THIS?
We were stumped. It looked like maybe it was a medical device....but girly PURPLE? No, that did not make sense. It looked a little fancy-schmancy European too, like a handle for an IKEA potato masher maybe, I said. Harriet said it was a Swedish paper towel holder. But, truth be told.....we were stumped!!
"Our friends will know, Horace! They are very modern and hip!" So, the day, we took it our Scrabble club meeting.
Such laughter! Oh my goodness! And red faces! Ohhhh dearie! What a ruckus we caused!
Someone was even saying: "Have you no shame?"
"Shame on the Europeans!" said Harriet. "I can't get this paper towel holder to tie on to anything in my kitchen!"
Discouraged, the only useful information we got was from the new divorcee of our group, Maxine. She said, in a very low voice, "It's a HEALTH AID."
When we asked for more details on how to use this theraputic device, she gave us this link to Literotica. "Lita-what??" said Harriet.
Maxine said as she walked away somewhat awkwardly, "Go on the forum there, ask a pretty, clever lass to help you and the missus. A hip chick will be very interested in that."
So here we are!
Now....$49.95 is a lot of money. You can be SURE thrifty Harriet will want to use this on some "hip chick" and vice versa.
So......HELP US!
###
Hahahahah......yeah, we got carried away. We know damn well what that gizmatorn is....and so do you. ;-)
Please come join us? We both need you.
What we are looking for: a sincere, bi,/ bi-curious, discreet woman between the ages of 21 and 45, who does not smoke (cigarettes), doesn't do heavy drugs (although we SO encourage the enjoyment of adult beverages), and who is not insane, criminally or otherwise.
About us:
WM - 38 - 6' 1", broad shouldered, very handsome, brown hair, blue eyes, witty, sensual, gentle, with a wild imagination.
WF - 33 - 5'4", very cute, average build, full breasts, short pixie-cut reddish brown hair, green eyes, bright, easily amused and open to suggestions.
We don't do drugs or smoke, but we enjoy adult beverages. We're very open-minded, have high sex drives, enjoy trying new things.
Have been trying for a while to find that special woman to help us fullfill a fantasy of an amazing, sexy, adventure-filled evening full of adult fun.
Maybe you're the one?
Last edited:
