Microsoft Word and that damned paperclip

[TheEarl]

After starting to write a letter and getting that damned paperclip pop up at me to 'help' I got bored. And this was the result.

The Earl

 

[oggbashan]

The Paperclip isn't bent.

If you are using the assistant in Word for porn, shouldn't you use that all purpose tool the bent paperclip?

You know, the one that extracts condoms from tight packets, scratches CDs so that all your music is dirty, and prizes marmots apart.

Is using the paperclip to write your stories against the rules.

Are artificial aids allowed?

Is the paperclip the porn author's substitute for Viagra?

I think that DurtGirl's prose pays tribute to the invaluable tool supplied by Microsoft.

Og.

 

[ohblueyedlady]

TheEarl,

That was so funny. The options were great...'Quick and Dirty' and 'One Handed'.

I wonder, though, if Mr. Clip would become overheated and exhausted with the 'Forty Chapters Long...and counting' option? lol

Thank you for the smile. Have a great day!

 

[pop_54]

Hi mate

I've got the cat helper selected, I get a pussy to help me write porn.

 

[jfinn]

At last a Word feature that's really worthwhile.

Jayne

 

[Un-registered]

Earl, if you want to lose the paper-clips in a permanent but reversible manner, click on Start then Find, type in Actors and when you get a long list of files, etc from Find, look for a folder (little yellow oblong) called Actors. Click on the name Actors, wait, click again and the appearance will change. Type Dead Actors and then close Find.

Hey presto - no paperclips. To reverse the process change the folder name back to Actors.

Before you do that, though, think carefully; do you really wish to discard the sage advice of Mr.Gates' software experts on literary matters?

Incidentally, there is a way of changing the paperclip to other images, but I don't recall how it's done at the moment. I am sure that information is in the Help Files.

 

[Victoria Veiss]

Still laughing! I thought I might be downloading a picture of a paperclip being gang-sodomized, however. That's how much I hate the thing--I usually can't turn it off because I'm using a shared computer.

Vicky

 

[Chicklet]

lmao

thanks, earl, that made my morning = )

 

[TheEarl]

Un-reg: Superb! I've been trying to work out which folder held those little bastards for ages. I'll probably be able to seel that information when I go to uni.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Hi mate

I've got the cat helper selected, I get a pussy to help me write porn.

I've got the DOG helper selected. I like doing it doggy-style...

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by TheEarl

Dear Earl,
You misspelled "kiked" and failed to give me a reference.
Grumpily,
MG

 

[TheEarl]

You misspelled "kiked" and failed to give me a reference.
Grumpily,
MG

It was all the paperclip's fault!

The Earl

 

[Un-registered]

Still laughing! I thought I might be downloading a picture of a paperclip being gang-sodomized, however. That's how much I hate the thing--I usually can't turn it off because I'm using a shared computer.

Have you considered turning it off anyway? If anyone actually wants the stupid thing badly enough, they can turn it back on for themselves. The "Dead Actors" convention for renaming them is widely known.