Merry Month Of May

[dr_mabeuse]

I seem to be fighting a particularly pernicious bout of the blue devils lately, an acute case of the oh-fuck-it-alls. For some reason, this always seems to happen to me in May, but this May is worse than ever.

Strange to admit, but I found that episode with "Mom's Submarine Anal Birthday Surprise", where a third of the feedback respondants apparently couldn't even tell that the story was written as a parody of horrible writing, to be very depressing, and I guess it's made me question my whole reason for being here, for writing, for even fucking bothering.

In the best of times there is something basically ludicrous and maybe even pitiful about all these cock and pussy stories and about those of us who write them, even more so for those of us who take them seriously or who try to achieve something through prose other than mere engorgement of certain tissues. And sometimes that wave of fatuousness and futility seems to threaten to wash all our efforts away, or so it seems to me.

I just wonder if anyone else ever falls into this kind of pit of despair and even disgust over all their efforts here; if anyone else ever looks at all their time spent writing porn as time wasted.

I really don't want sympathy. I definitely don't want any fucking hugs. And I don't want anyone to tell me to lighten up and not take things so seriously, because I'm afraid I've already taken it seriously.

In fact, I really don't know what I want: maybe just to bitch and moan. It's the merry month of May and I'm depressed as hell.

---dr.M.

 

[openthighs_sarah]

My mom always suggested that I go buy some new lipstick when I was depressed. It would probably work as well for you as it did for me.

Hugless and unsympathetic,
sarah

 

[Guest]

Bitching is healthy!

Bitch away, dr.!

I agree.

May is a down time for many people - after taxes, ending of the school year, etc. It's only normal, I think.

Aren't feedback letters much like polls? Usually only the stupidest and the smartest respond - the results will always be skewed.

So - you're seeing the stupidest.

Mmm, speaking of fuck-it-all, isn't that Robin William's drug of choice from his last live special? (but I digress)

Have a beer - get laid (oh wait - that's why I'M going to do!)

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Pit of despair

Yep, I've been down to the pit of despair, but it does have a bottom. Those bottomless pits can be a real drag getting out of.

Futility and frustration are all around us, every day. If we want to find either of them, we don't have to try hard. I know they are there, accept it and leave them alone. There are nicer things that grow in the garden.

GL

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Apart from the stale of my private life, yes, I sometimes find it depressing to see how many people there are out there who have a brain that functions tecnically normal, BUT they refuse to use it.

Now, I'm a person of rather short patience span.
I don't mind people who are born with a brain that doesn't operate very fast. As a teenager, one of my best friends was slightly retarded, and we got along just fine, although it required a lot of patience and a little manipulation to get her to talk about anything but her dog, her realatives, and her relatives' dogs. I occasionally see her on the bus these days, and it's nice to chat with her, as long as one can get her to talk about anything but her job and her co-workers. She's got a very limited brain, but she's a very nice and sweet person.
I hope and pray that I will not give birth to children with Downs' Syndrome, becase I know that even though I have sympathy for people with that syndrome, I would have great problems hiding my impatience if I had to spend much time with one.
People whose brains function slowly are innocent, and often quite nice. I have great sympathy for them.

But those who have a "normal" brain, but are too lazy to use it, to develop it - those people are like nails on the black board of my soul!!!
I get annoyed when I see people participating in "Who wants to be a millionaire", who don't know that Jane Austen never wrote "The Pelican Brief".
I get annoyed when I hear people discuss the intimate life of the participants in"Big Brother", yet they haven't got a clue about what the local community workers' strike is for.
I get annoyed when people read a story about a woman who fucks 11 dwarves in the middle of the Red Square in Moscow, and they send feedback asking if it's a true story.

The future of this world is in the hands of babbling morons.

And the big question is: Should I feel depressed about this fact, or should I use it as a means of secretely manipulating myself into power?

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Originally posted by Svenskaflicka
The future of this world is in the hands of babbling morons.

And the big question is: Should I feel depressed about this fact, or should I use it as a means of secretely manipulating myself into power?

Do you really want to be known as 'Queen of the babbling morons' ?

 

[TheEarl]

Svenska: Don't be silly. Only idiots get into power. Look at Teflon Tony.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm thinking a Black Adder - scenario. He was the man behind the king, and while the king was known for being a babbling moron with a sock fetish, Black Adder was the one plotting and influencing the king, and often tricking him into giving BA a lot of money...

Hey, that reminds me - who's Bush's advisor?

 

[TheEarl]

Teflon Tony?

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Any relation to Tony the Tiger?

 

[TheEarl]

Tony Blair. Teflon Tony, cause nothing sticks.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Oh, I get it. Good one, Earl.

Blair really looked like a private boy toy for Bush for a while. But I think they had a lovers' quarrel, and parted ways, no?

 

[MathGirl]

Hay, Dr Mabeuse.........

Poor baby. Huggggggsss. Kissy kissy. There, there.
Love, MG

Oh, didn't work? Okay, try this:

GIT OFF YER DEAD ASS, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Better? Okay. Now write a few verses for DG's pome "The Sons of Onan." Iffen ya don't, I'm gonna send Big Tyrone and Vito the Viper over to have a few words with ya.
Love,
MG

 

[pop_54]

Ha

Cheer up D-m it could be worse, it could be June and still the downers on it all.

Morons in charge, yes they are, and always will be.

Morons who can't tell fact from fiction, or a piss take from reality, come on this is lit, this is a site where mentally challenged folks come to read their chosen kind of story, porn, sorry erotica.
These guys and gals only have one functioning part to their body for Christ's sake, and it aint nowhere near their brain.

Me?? miserable, never been known, don't care what month it is, let it all flow by mate. Wife says if I were any more laid back I'd be asleep.

Hope you get over it soon pal.

pops..................

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Okay, Okay, so I'll come in off the ledge now.

Onan? DurtGurl, don't you think you're beating a dead bishop? Trying to squeeze every drop out of this masturbation thing? Slamming a spoiled ham? Whipping an empty wille? Haven't you gone hand-to-hand with the bald-headed champ enough yet?

Near where I used to work, there was a place called "Onan's Carpets". Swear ti God. No one got it but me.

Where's this Onan business at?

---dr.M.

 

[Guest]

Cool greetings, Dr. M: I only know your work through threads but have a genuine respect and like for "you". Now I take it you are part of the DurtGurl personae. Bravi, bravi!!

I love those durrty stories, they're truly witty and hilarious. Their brilliance can raise a reader from the piquant disgust of the too compellingly inspiring images (most of the time). Seriously, this is some of the best stuff on Lit. I'm well read, and have been writing for decades (I'm in my 50s); I know what I'm saying here.

So far I'd guess a mere 2-5% of what I read on Lit. is a) well written; b) witty; c) unique; and d) actually erotic. You are in a minority of course, do you know that? It may make you rather a loner (at least on Lit.), and therefore susceptible to da blooze (I'm from Detroit/Motown, so I know blues well; check out the late but lasting John Lee Hooker.)

Stew awhile, Doc. It's necessary, but it's good you reached out (hate that phrase though) to your Lit. pals. I'd like to be one, it'd be an honor.

edit: forgot to able the sig.

I really, really do not care for self-advertising, but I think if you read my own durt-gurl style of a character in a current thread you just might laugh and even enjoy a good and durty-type tumescence. It's called "San Quentin Blues"; my character is a nun. A newbie called 'arioso' writes as Emily Litella from the orig. SNLive cast and makes me LMAO richly. I hope you find some relief there.

Best regards, Perdita

p.s. I won't disable my sig. here as it's a truth as only Sh're could express. You're the ripest, Doc.

 

[MathGirl]

Onan

Onan? DurtGurl, don't you think you're beating a dead bishop? Trying to squeeze every drop out of this masturbation thing? Slamming a spoiled ham? Whipping an empty wille? Haven't you gone hand-to-hand with the bald-headed champ enough yet?

Near where I used to work, there was a place called "Onan's Carpets". Swear ti God. No one got it but me.

Where's this Onan business at?

Dear Dr M,
There's an "Onan's Electric" here in town. I always assumed they would make good grounds. Groans There was a Major League pitcher names Onan Masaoka. Of all the Old Testament names, it would seem his parents might have selected ANYTHING but Onan.

"The Sons of Onan" will probably be the last of the meat beating epic sagas. It will be the .. um.. climax of our efforts. Send verses to DG, me, or leave them in the hole in that old dead tree.

DG is conetmplating a "Sheep Country" series for the near future, and I'm sure you would have something to contribute to that.
MG, Secretary tot he DurtGurl Group

 

[gauchecritic]

Hey, that reminds me - who's Bush's advisor?

The same one's who whacked Kennedy.

Gauche